What Are You Afraid Of
by NiCoLe7409
Summary: Will eventually become NALEY! Nathan's wife is dead.. Who will he turn to? Most likely the person everyone expected the least.
1. Today Was The Day

**Here is my next attempt at a fic! It's AU, the only thing I'm stealing from the show is the whole Dan's-other-son-joining-the-basketball-team-and-getting-injured storyline. Lucas is one year older than Nathan. This story will eventually be an NH story, so just read through the first chapter before jumping to conclusions… **

**And I don't own anything One Tree Hill related.**

**Chapter 1**

_Beep. Beep. Beep. _

The incessant alarm clock woke him from his sleep. Its fate was met when Nathan picked it up and chucked it across the room. Sighing, he slowly got out of bed to start the day.

Today was the day.

Nathan walked over to the closet and pulled out the clothes he had laid out the night before. Black shirt, black pants, black everything. Black is the theme of the day, he thought. He got dressed slowly, each article of clothing making the situation more real, making the event minutes closer than before.

Once dressed, he walked down the hall to his 4 year old daughter Allie's room to find her sound asleep. She looks so much like her mother, Nathan thought, with her reddish hair and piercing green eyes. "Time to get up baby girl," he said gently, lifting her from her bed. He got her ready for the day also, putting on her only black dress. His wife always said black was too depressing for their child. Seemed kind of ironic in that moment. He carried Allie back to his room and placed her on the bed while he finished getting ready.

"Hey Nate, you ready to go," Lucas said walking into the bedroom.

"Almost," he mumbled.

"Okay, well I'll take Allie and meet you in the car," he said exiting the room.

Nathan finished tying his shoes and grabbed his jacket. "Here goes nothing," he said to himself heading for the car.

Today was the day he would bury his wife.

The car ride to the church was in complete silence, even Allie hadn't made a fuss. Maybe she knew what was going on today, if the dark clothes and depressing weather didn't give it away, he didn't know what did. Every once in awhile Lucas would look over at him, his older brother senses kicking in, but it didn't matter what Lucas said or did, nothing would take away the pain.

Nathan looked in the backseat to see Allie finally falling back asleep. She doesn't deserve this, he thought; no child should have to go through this. Hell, no husband should have to go through this.

"_I'm home," Nathan called out as he walked into the apartment, but was greeted with silence. "Hey babe where are you?" He picked up his bag and walked further down the hall. Reaching their bedroom, he could hear her quiet sobs coming from the other side of the door._

"_What's wrong," Nathan asked softly upon entering the room and finding her lying on the bed with tears streaming down her face. She didn't say a word, just motioned to the bathroom. Nathan walked in there to see a pregnancy test box sitting on the counter with the test right next to it._

_It read positive._

_Setting the test back down, he went and sat next to her on the bed. "It's okay," he said rubbing her back. "Don't cry, you know I hate to see you cry." She tried to stop her tears but she was just too scared to face the truth. "We're going to be parents! This is great news!"_

"_Good news!" She exclaimed sitting up to face him. "Nathan, I'm 19 years old! We're not ready to be parents; I'm not ready to have a child!"_

"_So it's unexpected, but you've always said you wanted to have kids."_

"_Not this early!"_

"_Come here," he sighed pulling her into his lap. _

"_We're too young, Nate," she whispered._

"_We'll be fine."_

"_But what if I'm an awful mother?"_

"_You won't be, I've seen you in action at the children's center, you're great with all of the kids."_

"_I'm going to be a mom," she stated as if hearing it for the first time._

"_That's what's going around town," he chuckled._

"_Stop it," she playfully hit his arm. "Thanks Nathan."_

"_It's what I'm here for," he smiled and leaned down to softly press his lips against hers._

After the initial meltdown, she finally began to calm down and accept the fact that yes, they were going to become parents whether they liked it or not. Things got better as time went on. After finding out they were having a girl, she was absolutely ecstatic. And on May 27th, Allison Marie Scott was born.

"_Alright boys, big tournament coming up, let's see some suicides," the Duke coach barked at his team. They all lined up and started running when a girl walked in. She went right up to the coach and whispered something in his ear. "Scott," he yelled and Nathan looked up. "You're about to become a father!" The rest of the team stopped and applauded while Nathan rushed to grab his things. "Go on, get out of here boy!" Nathan glanced over at Lucas who was going over stats. "Yes, Lucas can go too," he sighed. "But I expect both of you back here tomorrow!"_

_Lucas drove them to the hospital for Nathan feared he would surely crash. 'But Lucas is doing a pretty good job of making me worry about crashing,' he thought. "Slow down Luke."_

"_I don't want you to miss it!"_

"_If we get killed we're going to miss it!" Lucas slowed down from 80 to 75. 'Better than nothing I guess.'_

_They made it the hospital safely and the nurse directed Nathan to where his girlfriend was, while Lucas went to find whoever was in the waiting room. _

"_Nathan," she screamed when she saw him. "Where have you been?"_

"_Thank God you're here Nathan, I think my hand is numb," Brooke said, sitting next to her and holding her hand. "Next time your girlfriend is this pregnant, someone else can take her shopping. You're turn," she smiled standing up._

"_Thanks Brooke," he said before she left the room. "How you holding up baby?"_

"_This is all your fault," she cried._

"_I love you too," he laughed._

Four hours and twenty-one minutes later, Allie was born. What a great day that was, Nathan had been given the best gift, a daughter. He sighed, glancing out the window, watching the world pass by. Everything reminded him of her. Her eyes, her laugh, her smile, all features that he was interested in when he first met her.

"_Excuse me, but could you tell me where Professor Murphy's room is?" A smiling redhead stopped him to ask. "I'm sort of lost."_

"_Clearly, or otherwise you would know it's on the other side of campus. You a freshman?" He figured she was considering he had slept through half the female population and had never seen her before. She was… different, unique. Not fake like the other bimbos always craving for his attention._

"_Yeah," she laughed. "How did you guess?"_

"_Just smart like that," he smirked. "Come on, I'll walk you over there."_

"_But won't you be late for practice?" She motioned to the basketball he was holding and gym bag slung over his shoulder._

"_They can wait for me," he winked._

And so he was late for practice that day, but he had learned a lot about this intriguing girl. Daytona, 18 years old, lived in Tree Hill until the age of 9 when her parents moved her to Charlotte.

"_You mean, we lived in the same town for 9 years and we've never met until now?"_

"_Sometimes life just works out that way," she smiled shyly._

That was the beginning of a great friendship which in turn, became romance. It was only months after Daytona's 19th birthday that Allie was born. They married 3 years later towards the end of Nathan's senior year.

He smiled at the memory, remembering watching her profess her love for him. Then he shook his head trying to shake his mind of it. The days of love and happiness were gone. He couldn't live in a fantasy land anymore; he was just a mile away from reality. He glanced over at Lucas driving, who had that brooding look on his face. That look usually meant he was worried about Nathan, something his big brother did often.

Lucas. His once hated brother. Growing up, Nathan had been brought up against him. Dan made it clear he did not want to be associated with the "mistake." Instead, he tried to focus everyone's attention on what a great basketball player Nathan was. Weights, running, and everything else involved with basketball became a part of life. Anything to make him better then that "mistake."

But then it turned out that Dan's basketball genes had been inherited by both sons. Nathan's junior year, the "mistake" joined the basketball team. For over a year, the brothers feuded both on and off the court, even after Lucas graduated and was off at Duke. They fought until that one accident that left Lucas injured for life. "Basketball is over for you," the doctors had told him. And that was it. One moment, a car accident and a shattered shoulder bone, changed their lives forever.

Nathan had been driving around for awhile trying to clear his head of Dan's voice. _"You were weak during that last game, your free throws look like crap. We're waking up at 5am tomorrow to work out; you looked winded during the 4th quarter." _The drive wasn't really helping; he felt he would never live up to his father's expectations. Then he drove past this run down basketball court along the side of the river. A lone figure was running up and down the court, and occasionally shooting a ball at the hoop, but it never went in. As Nathan drove closer he realized it was Lucas, so he pulled his car up next to the court and got out.

"_Should you really be playing, after just getting injured like that," Nathan questioned him_

"_The more I practice, the sooner I'll be back," he said shooting the ball and once again missing._

"_Lucas," Nathan winced as Lucas grimaced in pain. "It's not that easy man."_

"_What am I going to do then?"_

"_There are other sports… You don't need arms to suck at soccer," he smirked._

"_Easy for you to say, you're going to be running up and down that basketball court on Friday night," Lucas argued._

"_Come on man," Nathan sighed. "You can't get hurt playing Playstation, let's go."_

Nathan didn't know if it was from the guilt of treating him so poorly over the years or if he genuinely felt sorry for the guy, but at the time, he felt bad for Lucas. He didn't know what he would do if he could never play basketball again. And so the brothers began spending more time together, slowly developing a new friendship. The two had finally become brothers.

Nathan was jerked back to reality when they pulled into the church parking lot. This was it, his last chance to say goodbye to his wife. "Come on Nathan," he heard his brother say. "It's time." He eventually got the courage to get out of the car long after Lucas had taken Allie inside.

Finally, he walked into the silent church. People looked at him with eyes of pity, but he didn't want it. No matter how many times people said they were sorry, it wouldn't bring Daytona back. The sympathetic stares wouldn't erase the pain. He made his way to the front and took a seat between his mother and Lucas.

"We are here to celebrate the life of Daytona Catherine Scott," the priest began. "She was an amazing woman, a wonderful mother, a daughter anyone would be proud of, a great friend, and most of all, a loving wife."

Of course he knew what a great mother and wife she was, he didn't need to be reminded. Nathan couldn't listen much longer to the priest talking about life after death. He gazed around the church to see who had all come to mourn.

There was his cousin, Peyton, and Jake who had been dating for practically forever. Or at least for the last 4 years when they met during Jake's senior year and Peyton's freshmen year at NYU. Jenny was with them also, already 10 years old. When Jake was only 16, his girlfriend Nikki got pregnant, and shortly after Jenny's birth, she took off, never to be seen or heard from again.

Brooke was next to them with her latest boy toy. ..John was it? Or Joe? He couldn't remember, it was definitely a challenge to keep up with Brooke's love life. And everyone knew she did it just to make Lucas jealous. The two had dated off and on throughout high school, but things just never worked out. Nathan knew the feelings were still there, but they were both just too stubborn to admit it.

He saw Karen, holding Allie on her lap. She had been a godsend the last few days. Frankly, she had become like a second mother over the years. Keith was sitting with her. Nathan and his uncle never really talked until he was in college and started getting along with Lucas. As much as Dan wanted to keep himself away from Lucas, Keith was the opposite. He kept close, filling in that empty fatherly role. Now that everyone was older, Keith didn't think he was needed as much, but Lucas made sure to keep him around. He and Nathan always teamed up against Keith, trying to get him to admit his eternal love for Karen, but they were still waiting for it to happen.

Ah, and there was Tim, his best friend since elementary school. Although he could sometimes be annoying, his loyalty to Nathan was unbreakable. Tim was such a goofball, and could hardly ever get a date, but when Nathan had problems with Daytona, Tim was the person he'd turn to, even when he didn't have a lot of experience with relationships. He was always good for a laugh and a night out to get your mind off of things. And once again, here he was, being there when Nathan needed him most. But in all honesty, he cared deeply for Daytona too. Not in the way that would make Nathan beat him up, he always assured people, but in the way that Daytona always welcomed him into their home, despite all his juvenile antics. It just showed what a great heart she had.

Continuing around the church, Nathan spotted Daytona's parents, Ray and Denise. It seemed just like yesterday he had met them for the first time. They had invited him over for dinner one night over a summer vacation. _"We just have to meet the man who our daughter cannot stop talking about," they said. _However, they must have changed their mind sometime during the dinner about that. Or maybe it was when they caught him and Daytona making out on the front porch beforehand. Either way, the dinner was a disaster. First there was the interrogation, _"So what are your intentions with my daughter," _followed by awkward pauses, faces that turned 20 shades of red, and a sigh of relief when they said their goodbyes.

"_I'm so sorry Nathan, I had no idea," Daytona pleaded. _

"_I know," he sighed. "Just glad it's over."_

"_You definitely aren't the only one."_

That was a day Nathan tried not to remember often. Her parents never approved of their relationship, especially having a child out of wedlock. In fact, no one was even sure if they would come to the wedding, but on February 12th, there they were, dressed in their finest. "We want to be a part of our granddaughter's life," they had said. Daytona allowed them that, not wanting to have a bad relationship with her parents. Now that she was gone, what would happen? The only reason they were nice to him, was to keep Daytona happy. He was afraid that now his in-laws' true feelings and motives would reemerge.

Nathan turned his attention back to the front of the church. The first thing he saw was the casket, with her picture on the top. Oh, what he wouldn't do to see that face again! Damn that split second that took it away.

_It was June 6th, the day after the draft. The day after the best day of Nathan's life. The day that would soon become the worst day of his life. That night, Dan was throwing a party to celebrate his son's great achievement. Nathan headed over early with to help his parents set up, even though they wouldn't let him do anything. "This party is for you Nathan," they had said. So he spent the next hour playing Barbie's with Allie and Jenny until Deb came to get him for the party. "If you need anything at all Jen, please come get me," he said before departing downstairs to celebrate._

_The party had been going on for over 2 hours, it was nearing 10pm. It was going great; everyone was having a fabulous time. "If I could have everyone's attention please," Lucas said holding up his champagne glass. "I'd like to make a toast. To my brother, the newest member of the Charlotte Bobcats!" Everyone raised their glasses with him. "We all know he wouldn't have made it this far without his incredibly talented agent."_

"_If that's what you need to believe," Nathan shouted and glanced at the clock once again. Where was Daytona? That's when he noticed his father walking in the room with a solemn look on his face. "Son, can I talk to you outside for a minute?" Nathan got up and followed Dan out to the patio where he found his mom. _

"_What's going on?" _

"_Nathan," his mother sighed. "I don't want to have to tell you this…"_

"_What is it? Someone tell me. Now," he ordered, but all he got in return was his mother's sobs. "Mom?"_

"_Son," Dan cut in. "We just got a call from the hospital."_

"_Hospital!" Deb's cries just got louder._

"_There was an accident," he paused. "On the way over here… a drunk driver collided with Daytona's car. An ambulance was called, but she… she died Nate, on the way to the hospital."_

_Dead._

_His wife. Dead._

_One of the most caring people in the world was now dead because of someone's careless mistake. Nathan felt as if his entire world had just collapsed. His legs gave out as his father rushed to catch him before he hit the ground. "Come on, you can stay in our room tonight." And Dan helped him upstairs and into the bed, where he spent the next 24 hours._

Nathan felt tears spring to eyes at the memory. His mom grabbed his hand, giving it a light squeeze and mouthing, "It'll be okay." But how did she know? What if he was never okay?

"And now, Peyton Sawyer will do a reading," the priest said before sitting down. The curly blonde stood up and walked to the podium. With as confident of a voice as she could muster, she began to read.

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

After a tearful Peyton sat down, the priest called up the last person to speak, Daytona's best friend. Nathan watched as she shakily made her way to the front of the church. He had never cared for her much and the feeling was mutual. She thought Daytona deserved better than him, and she made sure everyone knew that. The two always argued over trivial things, but seeing her up there, struggling to hold it together made him feel bad. He wasn't the only one to lose a wife; Daytona was lost as a daughter, a mother, and a best friend also. Finally reaching the podium, the 5'3" Duke graduate took a moment to collect herself. Then after clearing her throat, Haley James began to speak.

**Comments? Feedback is greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Confessions of a Broken Heart

**Chapter 2**

_Finally reaching the podium, the 5'3" Duke graduate took a moment to collect herself. Then after clearing her throat, Haley James began to speak._

"14 years ago, a fiery redhead with a love for Nascar moved next door to me. She was a spunky child filled with compassion. Daytona soon became my best friend. She was always there when I needed her. Even when that meant 4am crying sessions over my latest heartbreak," she paused giving a sad laugh. "We became inseparable throughout the rest of middle school and high school. And when it came time for college, we went together. We roomed together, got lost on campus together, had late night cram sessions in the library together, and overall, just wished the schoolwork would be over together," she paused again to recompose herself. "And most importantly, I got to watch her fall in love with a wonderful man and then we all watched them create the perfect family. It's just so hard to believe that four months ago, I stood in this church as Daytona's maid of honor," Haley choked out. "Daytona was a wonderful woman. She had a good heart and a loving personality. All of our lives will shine a little less without Daytona's bright spirit. My best friend will truly be missed," she took a deep breath. "We all love you Daytona," she managed to get out before completely breaking down into sobs. Wiping her eyes, she gave a weak smile and headed back to her seat.

The priest said a few more words before concluding the service. People began to leave silently, but Nathan didn't move from his seat. He sat there reveling in the silence long after everyone was gone. Finally, he rose to his feet and approached the casket. Nathan looked down at his peaceful wife one last time, a single tear rolling down his cheek. And with a final, "I love you," he walked away.

Pushing out the church doors, the rain poured down on him as he made his way over to his brother's car. Lucas got out of the car and rushed to his brother's side, enveloping him into a hug. "I'm so sorry Nathan," he whispered. "Ready to go?" All he got in response was a single nod, and they both got in the car sopping wet, leaving the church behind.

After the funeral, people were headed over to the Scott Manor. Pulling into the driveway, they noticed a few kids gloomily sitting on the porch swing, a few solemn people talking amongst themselves, the porch roof sheltering them all from the downpour. Heading into the house, the mood wasn't much better. Peyton was trying to take a vodka bottle away from Haley, and Daytona's parents were sitting by themselves with blank looks on their faces. "Looks like Haley has the right idea," Nathan commented walking away from Lucas. If he was going to get through this day, hell, the rest of his life, he was going to need a little liquid courage.

"Nathan, you can't. What about Allie?" Lucas reminded him, but Nathan was already at the bar. He was afraid this was going to happen. Whenever Nathan was drawn into a dark place, he often turned to alcohol. High school was the worst when Dan would belittle his basketball performances. His verbal beat downs eventually drove Nathan to performance enhancing drugs and a trip to the emergency room. That all changed when he met Daytona though, but now she was gone, and Lucas could only worry what damage Nathan would do to himself.

"How's he doing," Brooke asked coming up behind Lucas. It was clear she had been crying; her eyes were red and puffy. In high school, Brooke had been part of Nathan's posse. They were a part of the in-crowd; however, they admit to never sleeping together. Brooke being Peyton's best friend meant she was often at Scott family gatherings, causing her and Nathan to be close, like brother and sister. _"That would be like incest," Brooke always shrieked at the thought of them dating._ And although Nathan will never admit it, he greatly appreciated Brooke being the good friend that she was.

"I'm worried about him," he sighed. "I just don't know how I can help him." Running a hand through his hair, a frustrated Lucas was ready to give up. He already knew Nathan's emotional walls would be tough to get through and soon, no one would be able to reach him.

"All you can do is be there for him Luke, you can't always protect him." But who would protect him now that the best thing in his life was gone? Who would keep him from destroying his life?

"I know, I just feel like I should be doing something."

"Just give him time; he'll come to you when he's ready. It can't be easy to lose someone you love.

"You have no idea," he mumbled as John… or Joe… came up to them, handing Brooke a drink. The bastard, Lucas sneered. It killed him to see Brooke flaunting other men on her arm. He was the one she should be showing off! Not this John dude…

"Thanks Jim," she smiled sweetly. Ah, so that was his name! "You remember Lucas?"

"Of course I do," he said shaking Lucas' hand. "How are you?"

'How are you,' Lucas mocked in his head. 'Ah shove it,' he thought to himself. "Honestly, just trying to keep this family from falling apart and I don't think I'm doing a very good job," he admitted motioning to Nathan still standing near the bar.

"It's natural for people to unravel emotionally in times like these," Jim offered.

"Well aren't you a saint," Lucas muttered under his breath. "Thanks for coming," he forced a smile on his face, shaking Jim's hand again.

"Oh it's no problem. It was important to my Brookie here, so it's important to me too," he grinned giving her shoulder a squeeze. Brooke smiled sheepishly and started ushering him away. She was not going to be the cause of a fight which is exactly what would happen if Lucas kept egging him on. "Let's get some food," she suggested. "See you Luke."

He went and sat next to Peyton who had witnessed the whole thing. "Isn't Brooke's new boyfriend dreamy," she drew out laughing. Tormenting Lucas with the fact that Brooke always had another man in her life was something Peyton had come to enjoy. Seeing his face get all red with aggravation and becoming green with envy could be very entertaining.

"He's only after her hot body," he spit out. The jealousy was kicking in right on time. If his usual outburst was on schedule, Peyton assumed it would be only a couple of minutes before Lucas was kicking Jim's ass.

"For like the millionth time, why don't you just tell her how you really feel?" As much as she enjoyed watching Lucas squirm, it got old after… how many years had it been? He graduated from high school nearly 7 years ago and for Brooke it had been about 6 years. 'Why do I put up with these people,' she always wondered.

"Why don't you tell Jake about that night at the beach three years ago," he shot back and a look of horror and shock came over Peyton's face before her expression turned into one of disgust.

"Nice," she said sarcastically, getting up and walking away. She had become accustomed to the annoying comments and gestures from the Scott brothers, but not even Peyton would allow him to bring up the "incident" she regretted from so many years ago.

**-OTH-**

Nathan sat isolated in the corner of the room, drink in hand. People continued coming up to him offering their condolences, but they were usually met with the eyes of a broken boy, followed by a grunt signaling, "Go away." Suddenly, there was a presence sitting next to him.

"She was a good person," the blonde said. "She'll be missed." Like he didn't know that. This wasn't some headlining story; this wasn't breaking news. His wife was dead at only 23 years old, barely one quarter of a century lived. Realizing Nathan wasn't in a very talkative mood, she put her hand on his shoulder. "Look at me Nathan," Peyton said sternly, demanding his attention. "The world isn't over, you're going to be okay." But he wasn't okay, he wouldn't be okay. Downing the rest of his drink, he slammed the glass on the table and went up to his room he slept in as a child.

Bad idea.

There were pictures everywhere of him and Daytona, as well as some recently added ones of Allie. Daytona had insisted on ridding the room of all his sports memorabilia and redecorating so, "it would feel like home when they visited Tree Hill." He picked up one frame and looked intently at the picture in it. It was the three of them at the beach for a traditional Scott family barbecue.

"_We're going to the beach," Allie cheered as they pulled up to Dan's beach house. "Is Aunt Brooke going to be here?"_

"_She's not your aunt," Nathan said. "Thank God."_

"_Of course she is going to be here," Daytona said sending Nathan a look. "And I'm sure she's excited to see you." Allie squealed with excitement, jumping out of the car as soon as it was in park._

"_Brookieeeeee!"_

"_Allieeee," the much older, but had the same mentality as Allie, woman screeched. "How's my favorite shopping buddy?"_

"_I want to go swimming," she pouted. "Can we please?"_

"_You know I don't do oceans, they're like, gross," Brooke made a face. "But I'm sure if you ask nicely, your Grandma Deb would love to go with you," she snickered. Everyone knew how prissy Nathan's mother was. He always said, he loved his mother, but she really needed to stop worrying about her appearance. But if anyone could get the woman who got weekly Botox injections out in the water, it was definitely a certain four year old girl. _

_The rest of the day was spent lounging on the beach, eating food and just talking about their lives. Allie wore everyone out by convincing them all to play beach volleyball, as well as having them all build sandcastles which Dan still brags today about how his was the best one. In the process she wore herself out, causing her to fall asleep early in Daytona's lap. And that's when the picture had been taken. A family of three simply enjoying their time together._

They all looked so content relaxing on the towel; how he missed those days of leisure. His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. "Thought I might find you up here," Deb said entering the room. "How are you doing?"

"About as well as can be expected," he said, setting the picture frame back down and then sitting on his bed. Deb sat down next to her hurting son resting her hand on his shoulder. "What am I going to do mom," he began to break down. "I can't do this without her."

"I know sweetie," she tried to soothe him. "It seems impossible now but you have to be strong… for yourself and for Allie. She needs you too."

"I just miss her so much," Nathan was crying now. Deb wrapped her arms around him, hugging her son. It killed her to see him so torn, so broken. She tried calming him down, rubbing her hands gently on his back.

"You'll get through it," she finally spoke. But for once in her life, Deb Scott wasn't sure of anything.

**-OTH-**

It was the same scene that it had been just a couple hours ago. After calming down earlier, Nathan was back in his corner, drinking yet again.

"Nathan," Karen said coming up to him. "I'm getting ready to leave and I thought I could just take Allie with me if that's okay?"

"Yeah it's fine," he nodded. "Probably a good thing to get her away from everything. She doesn't deserve to have to go through this."

"Yeah I know what you mean," she smiled sadly giving him a hug. It broke her heart to see him suffering like that. She never lost a husband, but then again she had never been married. But at one time in her life, she emotionally lost the person she loved most. As grateful as she is for that person giving her Lucas, too many nights were spent crying herself to sleep. And to this day she could never figure out why she let herself cry over Dan Scott. He was still the same ass that he was in high school. But still, it pained her to see someone having to grieve like she had. "See you tomorrow then."

Watching Karen and Allie leave, Nathan got a feeling of loneliness. Was this how the rest of his life would be? Sitting alone, drinking alone, just being alone in general?

'And if things couldn't get any worse,' he thought to himself seeing Daytona's parents approaching him. "How could you possibly be drinking," Denise said condescendingly. "That is what killed my daughter."

"You think I don't know that," Nathan shot back, taking another long drink. He changed his mind; could everyone just please leave him alone now!

"Obviously you didn't care for her very much," she snarled.

Oh, it was on now.

"Excuse me," he said a little too loud standing up. Denise took a frightened step back, but Ray stepped forward.

"You heard her. Daytona gave up her life for you," Ray exclaimed. "She was the one raising your daughter while you were always away playing basketball. But were you really playing ball the whole time? Or did you just not want to be tied down with a kid?"

"What are you talking about," Nathan shouted causing others to notice the ruckus. How dare he accuse him of not being faithful. He loved his wife, he really did.

"And because you just had to have another party celebrating yourself of course, my daughter died."

"What the hell is your problem?" Lucas yelled stepping in between Ray and Nathan. This could get ugly.

"My problem," Ray half-heartedly chuckled. "It's his fault Daytona is dead," he said hoarsely, pointing his finger accusingly at Nathan.

"Son of a bitch," Nathan lunged at him, but was stopped by Lucas.

"Don't Nathan," he said calmly, then turned back to Ray. "Let me," he declared before punching him square in the jaw. The room went silent. Ray lied on the floor holding the side of his face and groaning. Deb, who had seen everything along with everyone else, stepped up.

"I think you need to leave," she ordered them.

"What! But it's our daughter's funeral," Denise said shocked.

"Well, I don't think you're daughter would want you here, taunting her husband like this. Now I'll say it one more time, get out," she said sternly. Ray got up, clearly embarrassed, and he and his wife walked out.

"Thanks mom," Nathan tried to say.

"Don't even start with me Nathan. Now, I know Daytona's parents have not been easy to deal with over the years, but they are suffering just as much as you are. How would you feel if you had to bury your only daughter?" Nathan's eyes grew wide at the thought. "Exactly. Yes, they were out of line just now, but it was their grief talking. What would Daytona think if she could see you now?" Nathan realized his mom had made a good point, but it was still too much too handle. He grabbed a bottle of tequila from the bar and angrily retreated to the sunroom which contrary to its name, was dark and gloomy.

And there he was, alone again.

But apparently, not for long. "Well that was quite a show you put on out there," his Uncle Cooper said sitting down next to his distraught nephew. He got no response. "How ya doing kid?"

"Just peachy," Nathan bit out sarcastically.

"Come on man, don't be like this."

"Be like what," he nearly shouted. "She's gone! How am I supposed to feel?"

Cooper let out a long sigh, running his hand over his face. "I get what you're going through Nate."

"Do you? Do you have to take care of a daughter who looks so much like her mother that it makes you want to cry every time you look at her? Do you have in-laws who blame you for your wife's death?"

"No, but I have a wife who is gone also," Cooper replied. "Look man, I know you're hurt. You just want to find the guy that was drunk that night and beat the shit out of him, but you can't," he paused taking a breath. "Now I get that you didn't have time with her before she died like I did with Carrie, you have a right to be upset. But dude, you can't waste your time being angry at the world and drinking your life away," he paused again letting Nathan process everything he had just said. "Love is a great thing, maybe the greatest thing. You are so lucky that you got to experience in a few years what some people don't experience in a lifetime. You should be grateful for that. And on the other side of this wall is a room full of people who want to help you get through this, so go out there and let them," he finished, standing up to leave.

"Coop," Nathan said making him turn around. "I didn't mean anything by Carrie…"

"I know, but like I said, I knew her time was coming to an end. In those last 6 months, she helped me make peace with the fact that she would eventually be gone, so unless I was going to come up with the cure for cancer, I had to get used to the fact that she would soon be missing from my life," he said.

"So was there ever a day when it got better?"

"Yeah… followed by a day when it got worse. There were days where I would take out my anger on anyone who was around, but there were also days when I would remember the good times. You just gotta take each day as it comes and I'll admit, it's not an easy journey, but you have to do it, you have to make peace with it all," Cooper said before finally leaving the room. Nathan was soon to follow him

Back in the main room, there were very few people left. Clearly the party had come to a stop after his fight with Ray. Who throws a party after a funeral anyways? "It's to celebrate her life," he mocked, but how can he celebrate when all he wants his is wife back? He went to the bar for a drink. Settling down in another chair, he practically downed it all in one sip. He reached for the bottle he had taken from the bar and began to refill his glass when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey Nathan," she purred into his ear.

"Haley," he said, his mood souring. "To what do I owe this pleasure."

"Oh the pleasure is all mine," she said sarcastically. "I mean, who gets the chance to talk to the great Nathan Scott very often," she giggled.

"How much have you had to drink," he asked putting all the pieces together.

"Not enough," she muttered before grabbing his glass and drinking it. Why couldn't she drink the pain away? It seemed like everyone else was doing it.

"Whoa," he said wide-eyed. "Might want to slow down there." He had never seen her like this. Haley James was always well put together, a hair never out of place. And now she was a mess, drunk even. He didn't even think Haley knew what alcohol was with the saintly image she always portrayed.

"What's the point? My best friend is dead and I never got to say sorry."

"What are you talking about?"

"Not important," she simply replied taking the bottle, ready to pour again.

"Okay, I think you've had enough," he said standing up, pulling her with him. Nathan tried to get her to leave the room, get her anywhere else before she caused a scene like he had earlier.

"Let go of me," she roared, dropping the bottle as she tried to free herself from his grasp. The bottle shattered when it hit the floor, the alcohol splashing everywhere. After putting up a weak struggle, she gave up and fell into him. He picked her up and carried her upstairs. "I miss her already," she started to cry as he kicked open the door to the guest bedroom.

"Me too," he sighed as he laid her on the bed. "Me too." Already seeing her fall asleep, Nathan headed for the door.

"Nathan," she called out to him, making him stop and turn around. "You're a good guy. I know I've never told you that but you really are… Daytona… sh-she really loved you." And just like that she was fast asleep.


	3. The Two of Them

**So I'm not really a big fan of this chapter, but hopefully you guys will like it! Thanks so much for the reviews! I really appreciate it!**

**Chapter 3**

Haley woke up the next morning with a massive headache. 'Where am I,' she wondered when the events of the last week flashed before her eyes. The phone call. The car accident. The funeral. However, the getting wasted was the least vivid in her mind. Slowly she made her way downstairs where the strong aroma of pancakes and coffee could be smelled coming from the kitchen. Nathan was already sitting at the table chowing down on his fourth pancake.

"Oh good, you're up," Deb said cheerfully. "Made you some coffee, there's pancakes and eggs on the stove if you want. Feel free to eat whatever; I'm off to the café." She grabbed her purse and keys and breezed out of the kitchen.

Haley groaned. "It is way too early for her cheerfulness." But that wasn't the real reason she was complaining. She was upset Deb had left her alone with him. And she knew it wouldn't be long before they engaged in some sort of screaming match. How stupid was she to get herself stuck here overnight!

"It's practically noon, sunshine," Nathan smirked. "I got the aspirin out for you." It's not like he was thrilled about this either. Haley would probably start lecturing him on how he deserved all this.

"Oh gee thanks," she said sarcastically while filling up her coffee mug. She would just eat some breakfast… or brunch, and be on her way, back to her life. Nothing but deadlines, crabby bosses, and coming home to an empty apartment where she spent the rest of her night alone. No husband, no children, and the biggest factor of all, no Daytona to cheer her up when she had a bad day at work. No Daytona to take her out on a Saturday night to look for the perfect guy. Although Haley was starting to think that guy didn't exist due to her non-existent love life. "But what if it wasn't my life," she wondered aloud.

"If what wasn't?" Nathan asked still chewing on his food.

"Nothing," she covered up quickly realizing what she had said. Just as Nathan was about to ask, they were luckily interrupted.

"Scott family," a shrill voice called out. "Where are you?"

"Maybe if we're quiet she won't find us," Haley said. "I can't deal with her perkiness yet, not until this headache passes." Over the few years she had known Brooke, they had become good friends. But now, Brooke considered it her job to make sure Haley was okay. She appreciated the concern, but Brooke really needed to dial it back a bit.

"I think she'll find us anyways," Nathan shrugged. "In the kitchen," he called out. Might as well just tell her where her targets were so she would stop yelling. His head was pounding also; he wasn't sure how much he drank yesterday, but he didn't think it was this much.

"Smells good in here," Brooke said rushing in. "Who would have thought the same person who made this food could once ruin cereal?" She tossed her purse on the table and hopped onto the counter, popping a grape in her mouth.

"What are you talking about," Haley asked.

"Let's just say that once upon a time, Deb couldn't cook." And it was true. For many years, Deb had been known for her burnt cookies and overly toasted toast. From what Nathan could remember, the smoke alarms had gone off one too many times when he was a kid. He and Dan had learned to live on takeout. It was when Nathan was in high school that Deb finally figured cooking out. Karen had gotten accepted into a cooking school in Florence, Italy which was to last six weeks. Due to her financial situation, she wouldn't have been able to close down the café for that long, so Deb offered to take over. It was tough at first; the coffee was ruined and the kitchen was a mess, but over time, she began to master the skills needed and helped Karen's Café stay profitable.

"Now that's hard to believe," Haley said surprised. She considered Deb to be super-mom. Her hair was always perfect, her house always neat, her food always delicious. It was times like these that she felt she didn't belong in this group of friends. They had all known each other almost their entire lives, she had only been accepted into their group once Daytona met Nathan.

"It's a time in my life I try not to remember," Nathan joked. He had suffered through many failed recipes and was thankful his mom learned to cook.

"Oh stop it," Brooke rolled her eyes. "So what's on the agenda for today? Up for some shopping tutorgirl?" According to Brooke, shopping was the answer for everything. A new pair of shoes could solve all your problems. It was a wonder how Brooke managed to continuously have her parents pay the credit card bills without ever asking questions.

"Tutorgirl?" Nathan questioned. Where did she get that from?

"My nickname for our little Haley here," Brooke grinned, clearly proud of her creativity. "You know I have to give everyone a nickname!"

"But Tutorgirl?" Nathan repeated again. He was well aware of Brooke's nicknaming fetish. No one was allowed to be her friend unless they had been given a nickname. Over the years he had been subjected to many names himself. She always claimed she was just trying them all out until she found the perfect one.He had hoped she would grow out of that phase after high school, but it never happened.

"Because she's a girl, and she used to tutor in high school and college," she said as if it was the most obvious thing on the planet.

"I really regret ever telling you that Brooke," Haley sighed. Anything you told Brooke would soon become common knowledge. Now it was true, Brooke always had the latest gossip, but Haley didn't want her life story broadcasted to the world.

"Too late! Now back to the subject. What's going on today?" They did this to her all the time! Somehow they always managed to change the subject away from what she wanted to talk about. She was not as dumb as she looked!

"Picking up Allie from Karen's, going home and back to bed," Nathan said. That sounded like a good plan. He definitely wasn't ready for whatever big blowout Brooke had planned. He just wanted to lay low, spend time with his kid. Besides, Allie owed him a Candy Land rematch.

"Me too, minus the kid," Haley said. 'And maybe add a trip to the liquor store in there also,' she thought to herself.

"You guys are no fun," Brooke pouted. They needed to get their mind off of things; moping around the house wouldn't help anything.

"I think Haley had a little too much fun last night," Nathan chuckled seeing her stick her tongue out at him.

"Yeah I noticed you were hitting the bottle pretty hard last night. Trying to take Keith's 'Boozy' nickname?"

"Wow, taking the title of greatest drinker from the legendary Keith Scott," Nathan snickered. "What an accomplishment."

"Oh real funny," she remarked. "My oldest friend is dead and she'll never forgive me; I'm sorry you don't see that as enough reason to drink," she spit out before angrily leaving the room leaving Brooke and Nathan stunned into silence.

**-OTH-**

That first week without Daytona was the hardest. Nathan practically lived on frozen pizza and takeout. The house was cluttered, except for his room which was still exactly the same way Daytona left it before she left the house for the last time; since then, Nathan had been sleeping in the guest room. Meanwhile, Allie spent most of her time at Jake and Peyton's playing with Jenny. But he knew he couldn't rely on them forever. In fact, Jake had let him know that when he stopped by one day.

"_Nathan, I know you're hurting, but you have to take care of your daughter," Jake said. Nathan was in a position that Jake was all too familiar with. He had been abandoned, whether by choice or not, by the woman he loved and left with a child._

"_I know, I know," he said burying his face in his hands. He was still having trouble coping with the loss._

"_Allie is always welcome at our house, you know that, but she needs her father. Have you even considered how much she might be hurting right now?" Jake didn't want to play the suffering child card, but it looked like he had no choice._

Jake's little pep talk had woken Nathan up though. He had to get his act together, for both his and Allie's sake. They had bright futures ahead of them, and he couldn't ruin that. However, as much as Nathan tried to continue on with a normal home life, that didn't stop his friends from offering to watch Allie all the time. Like today, Lucas had picked her up to go play basketball and spend some "quality bonding time," as Lucas put it.

Nathan was headed for the café where Lucas had said to meet him and Allie. When he got there, he found Brooke eating with them. 'Even when they're not a couple, they're still a couple,' Nathan thought to himself rolling his eyes. Entering the café, he got ready for Allie's tantrum of not wanting to leave her precious "Aunt Brooke." But after putting up a bit of a fight, Allie finally agreed to leave behind Brooke when Nathan promised they could go see Deb.

"She actually just left a little bit ago," Brooke said when Nathan asked where his mom was. "I think she was going to your house."

"Ahh, okay thanks," he said before heading behind the counter to say hi to Karen.

"I'm so worried about Haley," he heard Brooke say. "I don't think she's left her apartment in a week. I went over there yesterday and it's just a mess. There are empty flasks lying everywhere and tons of food prepared but never eaten."

"Wow, she's taking this harder than Nathan," Lucas said. He didn't know Haley very well. She came to the occasional party when her schedule allowed and there were times that Lucas would crash "Girls' Night Out," that she would be there. Although he had only shared a few conversations with her, it was clear how greatly she was suffering. Brooke and Peyton tried their best to cheer her up, but it seemed like nothing was working.

"Well I don't know about that," she sadly chuckled. "But I've never seen her like this; she keeps saying Daytona never forgave her."

Lucas sighed. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know Luke, I really don't." For the fourth time in her life, Brooke was at a complete loss about what to do. The first time was that physics final her junior year; she really wished she hadn't skipped class that many times. The second was at the mall when she maxed out all her credit cards and there was a really cute pair of shoes she wanted, but for once, couldn't afford. The third was trying to decide whether or not to let Lucas back into her life, which by the way, she didn't. And now, the fourth time was trying to find a way to help her friend.

Nathan stayed behind the counter for a little longer. Sometimes, he forgot he wasn't the only one to be in mourning. But he had a daughter to take care of; as much as he wanted to get wasted and stay that way all day long, he had to be strong for Allie. She couldn't lose 2 parents.

**-OTH-**

Shoes, purses, and clothes were scattered all over the closet. It was every girl's dream to have a closet like this one. Daytona was known for her shopping sprees with daddy's credit card, but even more known for her great taste in style. 'Where to start, where to start,' the older blonde thought.

"Normally I would beg Daytona to let me sort through her stuff," Peyton said. "Now it just doesn't seem right." Deb started pulling clothes from their hangers.

"I know what you mean. This is awful, I'm so worried about Nathan." She had seen her son emotionally self-destruct before, she knew what it was like. And sometimes she couldn't help but take the blame. Her marriage to Dan had never been a good one and she always used work as an excuse to get away. As Nathan approached high school, Deb noticed her absence was taking its toll. The night Nathan was rushed to the emergency room was the final straw. Even knowing she might have been able to repair the relationship with her son, she cut back on her work load immensely to be home more. Nathan was cold at first and continuously shut her out, but with the loss of Deb's father, Nathan comforted his mom in her time of need. The two rebuilt their terribly broken relationship slowly, until Deb felt that she finally got her son back.

"Where is he anyways?" She asked while lifting some boxes. Shit, they were heavy. She loved her cousin, but come on, couldn't Nathan do this himself? She understood it wouldn't be easy for him to sort through his wife's things, but he couldn't keep running from it. He needed to deal with it head on before the pain drowned him.

"He and Allie went to lunch. Thank God he has her; I think she's the only reason he's keeping his head up. It just scares me that the only person who can reach him is a 4 year old."

"At least it's something," Peyton said. Sure, Allie had spent the majority of the week at her house, but she thought that was for Allie's sake. She didn't need to watch her father's meltdown. Ever since Jake's wake up call though, Nathan seemed to be doing better, but Peyton felt as if the road to recovery could last the rest of his life.

What's this," Deb wondered aloud as she pulled a large envelope marked "To Allie" off the shelf. Opening it, smaller envelopes, all marked differently, fell out.

"I don't know," Peyton said just as confused. "We'll have to ask Nathan when he gets back." Peyton smiled pulling a photo album off a shelf, "Look at this." Deb and Peyton sat down and started going through the pictures. The album was very thick, filled with pictures from high school all the way to the present. There was everything from vacations to parties to just simple days at home.

"They really had the perfect family, didn't they," Peyton said, tears glistening in her eyes. She was always insanely jealous of their life. Here she was, practically five years into two relationships, one was girlfriend, and one was mother. And she was still waiting for the day that Jake would propose, but sometimes, it seemed like it was never coming.

"Some days I wonder if we'll ever see Nathan that happy again," Deb sighed. That's all she ever wanted for her son was happiness. And it seemed like every time he achieved it, it was ripped away.

"Grandma Deb," Allie shrieked running into the room. "Peyton!" She loved whenever she got to hang out with the "big girls." Especially when Brooke would take her shopping. _"You spoil her too much," _Nathan always grumbled,but found that he did the same. How could anyone resist those beautiful green eyes?

"Well hello to you too pretty girl," Deb said hugging her granddaughter. She was so glad she made the decision way back to salvage what was left of her relationship with Nathan; she didn't want to miss a moment in Allie's life. However, it was Dan that both she and Nathan tried to keep away from her, but even Dan seemed like a changed man around the little girl.

"Whatcha looking at?" She asked her attention turning to the open album.

"Oh just pictures from when you were younger," Deb sighed. The pictures broke her heart. They were filled with such bittersweet memories.

"I wanna see," she squealed squeezing herself to sit between the two. They continued flipping through pages, Allie interrupting every once in awhile to ask questions. "Ew, who's that," Allie shrieked, pointing to a picture. Peyton burst out laughing when she saw what the little girl was pointing at.

"That is your Uncle Luke trying to survive the wrath of two very pissed off cheerleaders back in high school," she chuckled.

"_Is it just me or does this party suck," Broke whined as she and Peyton made their rounds._

"_You really want to know what I think?"_

"_Actually no," Brooke remarked. "You hate every party we go to. Although I don't understand why. I'm head cheerleader, you're my best friend. We hold all the power," she raised her eyebrows._

"_Whatever you say," Peyton rolled her eyes. She hated being dragged to every party week after week. But it was high school, going to these parties was "a part of the job." _

"_P. Sawyer," Brooke said exasperated, handing her a plastic cup. "We're like the most popular people in school! We can do whatever we want, whenever we want."_

"_Including him?" She pointed to a broody Lucas Scott talking to a few of his guy friends in the corner._

"_Peyton would you please get over that!" Brooke saw him first, Brooke liked him first, well, maybe not the latter, but she made out with him first. And apparently, Peyton was still depressed over it._

"_I need another drink," she said tipping her cup to show she had emptied it. Brooke led her back over to the keg to fill it up again._

"_Look at that whore," Brooke said glaring at the new girl who was straddling Lucas' lap at the time. Ew, what was her name again? Ugh, who cares, it's not important._

"_Jealous?" Peyton smirked._

"_Well you would know that feeling wouldn't you," Brooke shot back. _

"So how did he end up looking like that," Deb asked pointing to the picture once again.

"We got drunk, found Lucas passed out in one of the guest bedrooms, only half dressed I might add, and decided to cover him in whip cream," Peyton shrugged grinning. Oh those shallow days of high school.

"What's going on in here," Nathan asked walking into the room. Their laughter echoed throughout the house; he wanted to see what all the excitement was about. Lord knows he needed something funny to light his mood.

"Oh hi honey," Deb said standing up to hug him. "We were just cleaning out Daytona's closet for you and we found this photo album that…" she stopped talking as she saw Nathan's expression become saddened. Angrily, he picked up the photo album and heaved it at the wall. At contact, several pictures flew out from the pages. Turning quickly on his heel, he left the room in a melancholy state.

Running down the stairs, he knew he had to get out of the house again. How can they smile and laugh at all those pictures? How can they be happy when Daytona is gone? Grabbing his iPod, he went outside and started running. Where to, he had no idea. He was desperate to move on with his life, but he couldn't escape his past. His mind went to the conversation he had overheard earlier at the café. Why was Haley doing this to herself?

Haley had been a part of the package when Nathan first started dating Daytona. She was often a fixture in their college apartment which Nathan couldn't stand. _"She has no one else," _Daytona always said when he felt she overstayed her welcome. _"You know her parents are out traveling the country, she's all alone during the break." _So apparently, if he wanted to be with Daytona, he would have to put up with her best friend. _"She's like my sister Nate," _Daytona said. _"She stayed with us so many times when I was younger."_

In a way, he could relate. His mom was always gone on business when he was a kid. His dad was often at the dealership or performing some sort of evil act whenever he wasn't chewing out Nathan's basketball performance. Slowing down as he approached the corner, he looked up at the street signs to see he was at the corner of Cherry & Water. Quickly making a decision, Nathan went right before he could change his mind.

Meanwhile, the three girls stood shocked at what they had just witnessed. Allie's eyes brimmed with tears. She ran to Deb and latched onto her leg. "Grandma," her voice barely above a whisper. "Why did he do that?"

"Your daddy is very sad Al," Deb replied. "He misses your mommy very much." She looked to Peyton, her eyes pleading for help, but there was none to be found from anyone. Nathan was too far gone emotionally for anyone to reach him.

"Allie, why don't you come home with me," Peyton suggested. "Maybe we can call Brooke and go shopping with her and Jenny. How does that sound?" Maybe Allie was better off staying away from home. This was no environment for a child, who had just lost her mother, to be in.

"Yeah," she cheered, easily forgetting what had just happened. Peyton took her hand and let heard out of the room, saying a quick good bye to Deb. Once they were gone, Deb turned to face the room. "Oh Nathan," she sighed and started picking up the fallen photos. "What are you going to do?"

**-OTH-**

_Knock-Knock._

There was no answer; so he knocked again.

Still no answer.

Turning the handle ever so slightly, he found the door unlocked and pushed it open. When he was completely inside, he took a moment to glance around. Brooke wasn't kidding when she was talking about the mess. He picked some of the bottles off the floor and put them in a trash bag. The place was trashed! He continued clearing things from the floor. He was bout to throw a piece of paper away when something caught his eye, _Love, Daytona. _Before he could read anymore, the passed out Haley stirred on the couch. He quickly folded the letter and shoved it in his pocket.

"Nathan," she murmured groggily sitting up. "What are you doing here?" Was she seeing things or was the guy she despised most really cleaning her apartment?

"I just wanted to see how you were holding up," he admitted sitting down on an armchair.

"Well I'm fine," Haley said with a feigned smile. "I don't need a babysitter."

"Alright," he said standing up. "See you later then." For some unknown reason, he had made an effort to be nice to her. If she wasn't going to reciprocate his actions, he didn't have to do this.

"Wait," she called out closing her eyes. 'Oh God, I can't believe I'm saying this.' "Sorry, it's just been a bad week to say the least. Can I get you something to drink?" She walked over to her kitchen and looked inside the refrigerator but closed it when she realized it was empty. "Ummm… I have some tequilia," she said sheepishly grabbing a half empty bottle off the counter.

Nathan sighed, sitting back down. She really had gone off the deep end. "Haley, what is going on?"

His concern, whether sincere or not, didn't stop her from filling her glass. "I'm just hanging out," she shrugged.

"You've spent the last week wasted from what I've heard. Why are you doing this?"

"And you're not? I thought alcohol was the solution to all your problems." Why was everyone ganging up on her? Nathan had been the third person to come lecture her about drinking this week. What was the saying? "He who is without sin, cast the first stone." She may have only known Nathan for a short period of time, but she certainly knew of his bad boy behavior prior to them meeting.

"And here I thought you could use someone to talk to, guess I was wrong," he commented standing back up again. As he walked towards the door he could hear her sniffling.

"It's just," she took a deep breath. "It's just that Daytona was the person I used to talk to, you know? She was the person who would bring me my favorite Ben & Jerry's and we would watch movies and pig out. Brooke and Peyton are great and I love them to death, but I just want my best friend back. I just want to tell her I love her and I'm sorry." Surprised by her outburst, Nathan sat back down next to her.

"Haley, what are you talking about?"

"We had a fight the night she died," she let out a long sigh. "The last thing I said to her was, 'I don't like the person you're becoming and the next time you see me, don't talk to me.' Little did I know my wish would come true," she sniffled. After their argument Haley stormed out of the house while Daytona had to get ready for the party, and that was the last anyone saw of her.

Nathan closed his eyes, processing the new information. He couldn't handle all this stress anymore. "Haley," he paused trying to figure out what the right words were to say.

She wiped her eyes and stood up. "It's nothing big, can I make you some coffee?" She masked her pain with a cheerful smile, that even someone as dense as Nathan could see through. He decided not to press the issue further, seeing as how Haley seemed to have already hit rock bottom. She didn't need to be even more miserable because of him.

"Sure, coffee sounds great," he said smiling politely. 'What have I gotten myself into?'

**-OTH-**

When Nathan finally got home, it was dark. After leaving Haley's, he had gone running on the beach to clear his head. Now all he wanted to do was collapse on his bed. Hopefully Allie was over at Jake and Peyton's, because she would most likely be up waiting for him to play a game or something. He was just too tired to deal with the world right now. Entering his room though, he found that his wish to be alone wouldn't be granted. There Deb sat on the edge of the bed, still flipping through that damn photo album.

"Nathan," she began to say, but was interrupted by her son.

"Mom, thank you for doing this for me, but I would really like to be alone now."

She nodded her head. "Well Allie is sleeping in her room, I think Brooke and Peyton wore her out shopping earlier," she lightly chuckled, but stopped when she saw the unamused, impatient look on his face.

"I'll call you tomorrow mom," he said sitting on the bed and stretching his legs out. Deb gave him a sad smile and left silently. Her son was in trouble.

**-OTH-**

"And coming up next, we have the latest on…" the television anchor droned on. Nathan glanced over at the clock again; it read 10:07pm.

10:07 on a Friday night and he was already in bed. He thought back to his early days of college, out every night, hanging out with the guys from the team. What had his life come to? He felt so alone in the large bed he had once shared with his lovely wife. He didn't know how we was going to settle with being alone in his large bed for the rest of his life.

"Daddy," a small voice came from the doorway.

"You okay princess," he asked sitting up.

"I miss mommy," she cried walking into the room, her favorite blanket trailing behind. Nathan's heart broke painfully seeing his daughter's tears over the loss of her mother. She didn't deserve this; she didn't deserve having to grow up without a mother.

"So do I Al," he sighed pulling her onto the bed with him. "So do I."

"When is she coming back?" She looked up at him, her eyes opened wide. What was left of Nathan's heart shattered even further as he saw the pain in her eyes.

'They are just like Daytona's,' Nathan thought. "We talked about this Allie, you know she's not coming back." Every word in that sentence was painful to say. Although she didn't seem satisfied with that answer, she knew not to continue with the questions. She had been there to see Nathan's violent reaction to a few old photos.

Seeing that she wasn't going to question him any further, he changed the channel trying to find something they could both watch. Allie got comfortable next to her father and pulled her tiny blanket over both of them. "Night daddy," she whispered before closing her eyes.

And that's when Nathan realized it would be just the two of them from then on.


	4. How 24 Feels

**Hey everyone, sorry for the wait! It's just been so hectic with the holidays, and then of course I was reading all the fabulous stories in the fic exchange! It'll probably be awhile before I update again because I have midterms in the next couple of weeks, so I won't have a lot of time to write!**

**Thanks for the comments, as always, I appreciate it!**

**Chapter 4**

When Nathan woke up, he knew it was going to be just one of those days. One of those days when it seemed like nothing would go your way. One of those days when something just wasn't quite right. Stretching his arms, he let out a large yawn, glancing around his nearly bare room. He was finally able to move back into his original bedroom, but in the process got rid of the pictures and anything that reminded him of her. The piece of paper he had found at Haley's was on the dresser. He remembered reading it for the first time and was surprised that Daytona had never told him about it.

_Exhausted from his run, Nathan just wanted to shower and go to bed. Taking off his sweatshirt, he remembered the paper in his pocket. It was the letter he had found on the floor of Haley's apartment. Anxious to read it, Nathan sat down and opened it up. _

_Dear Haley,_

_I hope to God that you will never see this letter, but if you are reading it, then you know I've already passed on. Becoming a mother has made me worry about all sorts of things, including what would happen if I am ever gone. You know my family's history of heart problems and how many of my relatives passed away at such a young age. Sitting here, watching my precious daughter sleep makes me worry for our future. So if something were to happen to me, I need you to do three things for me._

_First of all, take care of Nathan. I know him; he's going to want to stay locked up in the house for the rest of his life. Help him move on. Help him find happiness. I don't want him to stay stuck in the past; don't let him dwell on me. He deserves to have the best life, he's worked hard to get where he is now, and I can only imagine how much further he will go. Be there for him when he needs it most, and let him be there for you too._

_Secondly, watch after Allie. I want her to have a mother figure in her life. Spoil her, cherish her, remember me by her. She's going to ask questions, so give her the answers she seeks. Most importantly, I want her to always know how much I love her. Remind her every time you see her. _

_And lastly, take care of yourself Hales. You're my best friend, my sister. You've always been there for me when I needed you most. We've been through some great times as well as tough times together. Move on with your life and know that no matter what, I'll always be with you, remember that._

_Love, Daytona._

_By the time he was done, Nathan was practically crying again. Daytona felt like she had to take care of everyone, even from the grave. His heart hurt just thinking about how much he missed her. "Why did you have to leave us," he yelled to no one in particular. Throwing the letter down on the floor, he went to take his shower. He just wanted to forget her death, if only for a little while; he wanted to be happy again._

Turning his head, he noticed the drawer of the nightstand next to his bed was still open. _"So what are these letters about anyway," Peyton had asked him one day as she handed him the envelope they had found._

"_After Allie was born, Daytona went into a letter writing frenzy. Each letter is for different events in her life, like graduation and stuff, I actually forgot about them," he admitted opening the nightstand drawer. As he was about to slide the envelopes in, he noticed a large white envelope already in there with "Happy Birthday Nathan!" written across the front._

He had yet to open up the envelope addressed to him; he was determined to wait until his actual birthday.

Then his mind drifted back to how silly he thought Daytona was for writing the letters to their daughter. _"I just want Allie to remember what we were like at this age,"_ Daytona said as she wrote the letters. _"I want her to know that she'll be having the same thoughts then that I have now." _That was probably when she had written the letter to Haley as well. Now, Nathan was glad she had done it. It was important to him that Allie always remember who her mother was.

And today he had basketball practice. It was his first open gym practice with the Bobcats. Sure, there had already been team meet and greets, and dinners, but now it was a competition. A competition to see who would be starting on the court, and who would be bench warmers for the rest of the season. He had to be on top of his game today; he wouldn't settle for anything less than starting.

He lied in bed for just a little longer, really not wanting to get up. But then he heard the sound of tiny feet running down the hall, and he knew his peace and quiet would soon be interrupted. "Daddy! Wake up," Allie yelled running into the room and onto the bed.

"I'm up, I'm up," he said bringing himself to sit up. It amazed him how much energy little kids had so early in the morning. His friends always teased him about it too. _"I remember the days when we wouldn't see Nathan before two in the afternoon unless he was forced to get up," _Peyton would joke. _"Now he's willingly up at nine! The end of the world must be near!"_

"Can we have pancakes for breakfast?" Allie asked.

"Of course we can… Race you to the kitchen," he yelled leaping off the bed and out of the room. He spent so much of his energy trying to keep Allie's mind on things other then her mother. He tried anything he could think of, jokes, games, and just being stupid to make her laugh.

"Daddy, wait up," she yelled back, laughing and chasing after him. Seemed like his effort to make her laugh was working today.

**-OTH-**

The sizzling of the hot frying pan could be heard as Nathan flipped the pancakes while Allie sat at the kitchen table watching television and patiently waiting for her food. This is how everyday began for them for the last month. They would eat breakfast, get dressed, and find a way to entertain themselves whether it be just the two of them or all of their friends hanging out. But today, that would all change seeing as how Nathan would be gone for the greater part of the day. He had a feeling that him leaving for practice, when they had gotten so used to their daily routine, wouldn't go over well.

Nathan's thoughts were broken by the sound of a door slam. Both he and Allie looked up in anticipation to see who had come to see them. "Grandpa you're back," Allie cheered seeing that Dan had finally returned home from his business trip.

"Dad you're back," Nathan repeated in a more dull tone. "I thought you weren't going to be home until next week." Or at least he had hoped so. Dan being away in Europe for a month was a dream come true for everyone.

"Came back early son," Dan grinned which frightened Nathan. "Didn't want to miss your first practice." Of course that's what this was about, basketball. It's what it was always about. It's what it was about when Nathan was eleven and Dan picked him up early from school saying he had a doctor appointment. Really, Dan was just taking him to watch the high school basketball team practice. At the time, Nathan thought it was "so cool" he got to skip school, but little did he know how controlling Dan would end up being in the long run.

"Dad you can't actually come along you know. Bringing your parents on the first day usually ends after pre-school," Nathan smirked. Dan felt like he had to be at every practice and meeting pertaining to basketball in Nathan's life; it got a little suffocating at times. Oh who was he kidding, most of the time!

"Well I'm glad you think it's funny. This isn't college anymore Nate, this is your job. And if you aren't good enough, your ass will be glued to that bench for the rest of the season."

"Well you don't have to worry about me destroying your dream dad, I have great knees." Dan hated to be remind of that fateful day which Nathan used to his advantage. During Dan's freshmen year of college, he had blown out his knee during a game. All the rehabilitation in the world couldn't repair the long term repercussions. Bottom line: Dan was done with basketball. And since he never got the chance to go pro, he lived vicariously through Nathan, whether his son liked it or not.

"That's right son, you do. And they'll help impress the big wigs running the team. So don't screw it up."

"Don't worry dad, I'll protect what's left of your good name." Scott. Five letters. Sometimes only four if Tim was spelling it. And it was the most important thing to Dan. He craved that power and prestige; he had to be on top, even if it meant destroying his family in the process.

"Why are you being like this son? Have you ever considered that I just want what's best for you?"

"No dad, because you don't want what's best for me. You're only looking out for yourself!" Nathan was fuming. He hated when he let his father get under his skin like this.

"I don't want you to make the same mistakes that I did. But it looks like you're almost there anyway with one kid and all," he maniacally laughed. "Now all you have to do is knock up someone else and we'll be even."

"Get out dad," Nathan said sternly. He could handle the pressure and the constant arguing with his father, but he would not bring Allie into it.

"Nathan," Dan tried to say. Sometimes even he knew when he took things too far.

"I hit you once dad, I'm not afraid to do it again. Now get out." Angrily, Dan turned and walked out of the kitchen. Nathan let out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding. It was just another day in the life as Dan Scott's son.

**-OTH-**

When Haley woke up, she knew it was going to be just one of those days. One of those days when it seemed like nothing would go your way. One of those days when something just wasn't quite right. She shuffled into her kitchen and made some coffee. Ugh, what did she have to do today? Hopefully nothing until her appointment with that new doctor at the hospital. She had to interview him about some new hospital policy or something.

"Hey loser," Peyton said walking into the apartment. Doesn't anyone use the doorbell anymore? "You free this morning?" She and Brooke continuously tried to get Haley out of her apartment, but failed most of the time. Haley always used the excuse that she had to work or didn't feel well which they never bought.

"Oh you know Peyton, I'm not feeling very good," she tried. Not feeling well didn't even begin to describe how depressed she was honestly feeling.

"Nope, don't even bother trying that, we are meeting Brooke at the mall in half an hour." Haley groaned. "And no complaining! Now get dressed."

**-OTH-**

"It's about time you two got here," Brooke said tapping her foot impatiently. "We're wasting valuable shopping time!" She immediately grabbed their arms and dragged them off to the first store: Suburban Filth, the store Brooke had worked at throughout high school. Haley was still trying to figure out the name appeal.

"So Brooke," Peyton started, looking at a green sequin top. "How are things with.. wait, who are you dating today?" Yep, she still loved teasing her about her constant love affairs. Brooke was the queen of multiple dating, although it was tiring trying to keep up.

"Shut up Goldilocks, and for the record his name is Shane."

"Wait, what happened to Jim," Haley asked confused.

"He got old fast. You gotta keep up tutorgirl, I dumped his sorry ass weeks ago!"

"_So what exactly happened to Mike?" Haley asked her oh so popular friend. She changed boyfriends more than she changed outfits._

"_I got rid of him," Daytona said. "He is the flavor of last week. Besides, I know he has his eye on that new cheerleader. Now what do you think of this skirt," she asked holding up a denim mini._

Haley shook her head. She wouldn't remember. "So what about Lucas? I don't understand what exactly happened between you guys back in high school."

"Please Haley, don't even get her started," Peyton cut in before Brooke could answer. "Let me save us three hours and summarize for you. Girl likes boy. Boy likes girl. Girl's best friend likes boy. Girl's best friend screws over girl by sleeping with boy first. Oh and don't forget all the flowers, candy, anniversaries, "I love you's" and many breakups and makeups."

"Thank you P. Sawyer. Just don't forget the makeup sex," Brooke winked. "Lucas and I were just a bunch of drama, you know, we could just never get the timing right."

"_I swear to God I'm going to kill that boy," Daytona said running into Haley's bedroom. This had become a weekly thing ever since she started dating Jason, the new kid in town. "It's all drama, drama, drama with him! 'Were you checking out Mark? Are you into Ryan?' He just never lets up!"_

"_Have you ever thought of being single?" Haley was kind of tired of the weekly rants. She had to finish her English essay by Thursday as well as working on college applications. Not to mention, it was usually Daytona ranting most of the time; Haley hardly had anything to rant about._

"_God no," she shrieked as if it was unheard of. "It's just not the right time for Jason and me, I guess."_

Haley's thoughts were interrupted by Peyton again. "And by never getting the timing right, the rest of us have to watch them pine after each other."

"Okay, are we done with my E! True Hollywood story yet," Brooke whined. "I think I'm going to try on this dress, what do you guys think?" She pulled a tiny purple dress off the rack and held it up against her. "Think I can pull it off?" Peyton and Haley just stood there, nodding their heads. "You guys are no fun," she pouted turning her attention back to the dresses. Going through a few more she gasped. "Haley you have to try this dress on," Brooke dangled a fiery red number in front of her face. Haley tried to protest, "No way Brooke, that's more your style."

"Go try it on now or we're never leaving." Haley was getting kind of tired of Brooke's persistence, whether it was shopping or just the constant worry about her.

"Fine, I'll try it on, but we are leaving soon," she gave in, grabbing the dress. "I have to get ready for that interview later!"

"Oh, with that hot new doctor?" Haley nodded. "Think you can get me his number?" Haley scoffed and headed for the dressing room. After a few minutes of struggling to get it on, she pushed open the curtains and walked back out. "You guys there is no way I can pull this off."

Her complaints didn't stop Brooke and Peyton's applause and whistles. "Haley you look great! Red is so your color."

"_Hales if you don't buy that dress, I might have to hurt you," Daytona commented as Haley showed off the dress she was wearing. She did a few twirls and jokingly struck a few poses._

"_You think?" The insecure girl glanced at the mirror again. She was afraid of not being good enough, not being smart enough, not being pretty enough._

"_Definitely. Red is so your color. Kyle won't know what hit him."_

"_He's so cute," Haley squealed; she couldn't believe she had been asked to prom. It had been her fantasy since the sixth grade to have her prince take her on a carriage ride to the ball. Or maybe she had watched Cinderella too many times as a child._

"_Prom is going to kick ass this year."_

"Haley, you okay," Peyton asked. "You look pale."

"I.. I.. Sorry," she stuttered out. "I gotta go." She ran back into the dressing room and changed quickly back into her regular clothes. Running back out, Brooke and Peyton still stood there, not completely sure what to do.

Splashing water on her face, Haley leaned on the sink counter. She was so tired of having those reminders of what a great friendship she and Daytona had from the moment they became neighbors. And then she had to go ruin it by verbally attacking Daytona the night of her death.

Hearing someone walk into the bathroom, she turned off the running water and grabbed a paper towel to wipe off her face.

"Haley," she heard a timid voice whisper. "Are you okay?" Her friends were afraid. Haley was taking care of herself so poorly, they were afraid they would lose her too.

"I'm fine," she smiled. "Sorry about that, I guess I just wasn't feeling well." She didn't feel well. She didn't feel like smiling and pretending everything was okay anymore. She didn't feel like being alone. She didn't feel like being depressed. She wanted to feel happy.

"It's my fault," Peyton said. "I made you come even though you didn't want to."

"No it's not," Haley shook her head. "Don't worry about it." She didn't want them to stress over her; they had enough of their own problems.

"Here," Brooke said shoving a large garment bag into Haley's hands. "I got you something."

"Brooke, really, you shouldn't have," Haley said in surprise.

"It's nothing, don't even mention it," she smiled. "Ready to go home?"

Haley nodded and they made their way out of the bathroom. It was just another day in the life of transparent Haley James.

**-OTH-**

"Brooke, have you heard from Nathan or Lucas at all today," Peyton asked frantically later that afternoon. "Nathan was supposed to pick Allie up after practice almost two hours ago and I haven't been able to get a hold of either of them." She was freaking out; Nathan was never late to pick up Allie, and the few days he was, he always called.

A wave of worry washed over Brooke. She hadn't talked to Lucas in a few days; she could only hope everything was okay. After everything Nathan had been through, he didn't need any more bad luck. "Don't worry Peyton, I'm sure they're fine," she said trying to convince herself. "I'll try to get a hold of Lucas or maybe one of his business partners or something. You can still watch Allie, right?"

"Yeah, it's fine, it's just that this is so unlike Nathan, I can't help but worry."

**-OTH-**

Lucas went running into room 131. "Nathan," he said out of breath. "What happened? I get to the arena and they tell me you were taken to the emergency room!" He had gone into a state of panic per arriving to Nathan's basketball practice only to find he wasn't there.

"I fucked up Luke," Nathan said running a hand over his tired face and pointing at his clearly swollen ankle. Damnit, how did he manage to get himself in these positions! It seemed like everytime something important was coming up, he got himself on the non-participating list.

"Shit," Lucas muttered. "Is it broken?" Great, just great. This was the last thing Nathan needed. He mentally made a list of everyone he would have to call. As soon as the press got wind of this, his phone would be ringing off the hook, predators looking for information on the injured rookie. It had definitely been a trying period for Nathan's agent over the last few months.

"They don't think so, but they took x-rays just to be sure. They think it might just be a sprain." He didn't care what it was, all he knew was that it hurt like hell.

"Jesus, what did you do," Lucas winced seeing all the shades of purple his foot was turning.

"This guy and I both went up for the rebound and we collided into each other. When I came back down, I guess I just landed wrong and rolled over my ankle." This wasn't happening, it couldn't be happening; it was only the first practice! "I just knew as soon as I hit the ground that something was wrong."

"Nate, you gotta be more careful man," Lucas said.

"Dude, you don't think I know that? Save me the lecture Luke, it won't be long before Dan hears about it and then he'll really let me have it," he sighed rolling his eyes. He dreaded the minutes until Dan would scold him about how he was ruining his future, ruining the dream.

**-OTH-**

Haley gave herself one more self check once she stepped out of the car; she had to admit, she looked rather professional with her skirt and matching jacket. She pulled out her compact again just to make sure her makeup wasn't too overdone. Then grabbing her briefcase, she walked towards the front entrance of the hospital. She hated doing these interviews; it's not like anyone wanted to read about hospital policy in a magazine either. Her boss Erika was a real bitch. She always gave Haley the assignments nobody wanted just because she was the youngest there. One day though Haley would start her own magazine and it would be much bigger than "Tree Hill Living." Hers would go nationwide for sure; she would branch out of this small town.

After putting up a bit of the fight with the secretary, insisting she did have an appointment, she was finally allowed to go into the office. "Hi, I'm Haley James from Tree Hill Living, we're doing that—"

"Article, yes" he finished for her. "I'm Dr. Cooper, but call me Bryan. Please, have a seat," he pointed to the couch and then sat down next to her. Okay, so her personal space was evaporating, but she could deal with that.

"So tell me doctor.. uh Bryan, what first attracted you to the field of medicine?"

"Oh, just helping people in general motivated me throughout college. You encounter so many different types of people and cases everyday; you never know who's going to walk in next," he winked, sending a chill down Haley's spine. And not the good kind of chill either; it was creepy. But she had to stay professional.

"What is your opinion on the hospital's new patient protection policy?"

"I think it is definitely needed, I'm surprised they didn't have it already. Medical history and all other information should be restricted to the people who actually need it. Some of my coworkers here aren't very good at keeping secrets in the lunch room," he chuckled. "But I am very good at keeping my mouth shut," his one eyebrow raised. "About anything."

"Okay, um," she shuffled through her notes when she felt a hand on the tiny bit of thigh peeking out from her skirt. Shocked, she looked up at the doctor with wide eyes. "Excuse me?"

"You're a very pretty girl Haley," he said running his hand higher. "And if you want," he scooted closer. "I could help you write a great article on," he paused and leaned in closer to whisper in her ear, "anatomy."

"Oh my God," Haley shrieked jumping off the couch. "Asshole!" Her hand made contact with his face before gathering her things and running out of his office as quickly as possible.

**-OTH-**

"Alright Nathan," the doctor said walking in. "The good news is that your ankle is not broken, However you do have a mild sprain, but nothing to worry about." Nathan and Lucas both let out a sigh of relief. But still, it wasn't the good news Nathan wanted to hear.

"How long am I out for?" He hoped it wouldn't be too long; he had to get back to practicing with the team!

"Come see me in two weeks and we'll take a look at it, but I wouldn't say much longer than that. Here's a prescription for the pain, and make sure you keep ice on that ankle!"

"Thanks doctor," Lucas said shaking his hand. "Come on Nate. I'll take you home." Nathan picked up the crutches they had given him and hobbled out the door. Well, wasn't this fun.

"So, two weeks isn't bad," Lucas said trying to break the silence that had fallen upon them.

"Don't try and make this seem better Luke," Nathan grumbled. "Two weeks without practice is career suicide for me."

"Stop being such a drama queen dude. For God's sake, you were sixth in the draft! I would say the team isn't giving up on you that easily—whoa, sorry," he yelped as he plowed into someone. "Haley?"

She looked up with a tearstained face. "Hey guys," she said wiping her eyes. She wouldn't let them see her in such a vulnerable state. Although she was pretty sure they had seen her in one the day of Daytona's funeral.

"What's wrong," Nathan asked. She looked pretty shaken up. He was almost afraid to ask what happened for fear she had just gotten some life altering test results. What if she was dying? Allie would be devastated again; she loved Haley.

"Just having a bad day, you know how that goes," she chuckled. "Looks like you're having one too." She pointed to his wrapped ankle and crutches, hoping the subject would turn away from her tears.

"Ah it's nothing, just some battle wounds," he shrugged. Lucas snickered in the background. 'Oh please,' he thought to himself. 'Just a second ago, you were being such a baby about it.'

"Well, feel better," she smiled. "I better get going, I have a meeting later." She really did have a meeting later, but there was no way she was going. It's not like her whore of a boss was going to be there anyways, she never was. How that woman became editor she'll never know; although she could probably guess it had something to do with sleeping… without actually doing any sleeping.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay," Lucas asked still concerned about earlier.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she lied. The tears welling up in her eyes again did not go unnoticed by either brother. "Nothing I can't handle. See you guys later!" And just like that she was gone.

Nathan and Lucas both stared after her as she walked away, then turned to each other and shrugged. "Come on man, let's go." Walking to the car, Lucas turned on his cell phone to check his voice mail. "God, seventeen messages!" If this was the press looking for information already, he would flip out. He was about to listen to them when it rang. Checking the ID, he announced, "Brooke."

"If this is a booty call, I don't want to hear about it," Nathan said.

"Shut up dude," he laughed flipping his phone open. "Hello?"

"Lucas! Where the hell have you been," she yelled into the phone. Normally, Lucas was so whipped, even when they weren't together; he was always at her beck and call.

"I had to meet Nathan at the hospital, but before you go crazy on me, he's fine," he rushed out and went on before Brooke could continue with her rant. "He sprained his ankle at practice today and they had to do some x-rays."

"Well a phone call would have been nice, Peyton is worried sick! Did Nathan forget about Allie!"

"He must have, but come on, cut him some slack. You know how nervous he was about the first practice and then he hurts himself? He was terrified too." Nathan tried to act macho and tough all the time, but his brother could see how nervous he really was. But then again, that macho attitude of his is probably what caused him to hurt himself.

"Okay fine," she conceded. "But next time, I'm letting him have it." Calming down, she spoke again. "So is he really okay?" She always worried about Nathan. She was there during high school; she saw what a mess he was. And just like everyone else, she didn't want him to be hurting anymore.

"Yeah, he'll be fine, it's actually Haley I'm worried about. Have you talked to her today?"

"Peyton and I went shopping with her earlier, why?" After the incident at the mall, Brooke's worry for her friend greatened. It seemed like Haley was slowly deteriorating, but no one could get through to her. She knew Haley was faking it every time she smiled. Haley had many talents, but lying was certainly not one of them.

"We ran into her at the hospital and it looked like she had been crying, but she said everything was fine."

"That's what she's best at Luke, smiling and pretending everything's okay when it's not. What did you—"

"Lucas come on! Finish up the phone sex later," Nathan yelled from the car.

"Sorry Brooke, my brother is being pathetic. Call you later?"

"Please do," she flirted. "Although I might be with Shane so if you get my voicemail, try again tomorrow, bye!" She rushed out in one sentence, hanging up quickly. She was desperate for Lucas to be jealous, she needed him to be; she couldn't put on this show much longer.

**-OTH-**

Haley got into her car, mascara streaming down her face. Why were all men the same! They had the constant need to pick up lonely women, and then there was the fact that they all considered women to be fair game. Well, she wasn't some piece of meat for sale; she was a real person, with real thoughts and ideas. She was simply Haley James, former tutorgirl, and that should be enough.

All she wanted to do was go home and shower, erase the stench of the hospital. Getting into the car, she started the engine and turned on the windshield wipers. Sometime during her interview with that sleaze, the downpour must have begun. As she headed for the road, her phone rang. Searching through her purse, Haley had difficulty finding her phone. Finally, she got it out and opened it. "Hello?"

"Hey it's Brooke," the voice on the other line said. Now how did she approach the subject she wanted? "Um are you.. uh is everything okay Hales? Luke told me he ran into you earlier."

"I'm fine," Haley said through clenched teeth. "And I just wish you guys would—shit," she muttered as the phone slipped from her grasp.

"Hello? Haley?" Brooke could still be heard trying to figure out what was going on. "You still there?" Haley reached down under her seat searching for the phone. Just as she could feel the metal brush under her fingertips, she glanced back up to make sure she was still on the road. Seeing that she was, she went back down, almost able to reach the phone, but what she didn't see was the red light she was quickly approaching.

**-OTH-**

"You gonna be okay man," Lucas asked pulling into the driveway of Nathan's house. "Need any help?"

"No I got it, thanks bro," he said getting out of the car. He really was grateful for his brother, he couldn't understand why he didn't want a relationship back in high school; as cheesy as it may be, he couldn't imagine getting through the last few months without him. And to think they wasted all those years fighting; if he had learned anything lately, it was that life was short, too short to waste it on the petty things.

He walked into the cold, dark house. It wasn't home anymore. There weren't toys scattered everywhere, no aroma of Daytona's cooking, no ESPN could be heard in the background. Instead it was quiet and empty, giving off an uneasy feeling.

He trudged up the stairs, dropped his bag on the floor and flopped onto the bed flicking the TV on. He reached over to the nightstand and picked up the envelope he had yet to open. The one that said "Happy Birthday Nathan!" on the front. Slowly, he opened the last card he would ever get from his wife. The card was simple, just like Daytona was. On the inside she had written, "Happy 24th babe! Love you!" And there was a smaller envelope inserted. He tore it open and a small black and white picture fell out along with a note. "Happy Birthday daddy-to-be!" Tears fell from his eyes as he relieved the horrible moment that should have been a great birthday present from Daytona.

"_Nathan, there's more," his mother said kneeling beside the bed Nathan was lying in. Just minutes before he had nearly passed out at the fact that his wife was dead and now there was even more bad news to add on. Deb couldn't even believe she was saying this. "When they pulled her file at the hospital," she paused trying to find the right words to say. That's when she realized there was no easy way.. It was the most painful thing in the world to tell her son that his wife was dead, but having to tell him his unborn child that he didn't know about was dead as well? "Nate, Daytona was pregnant… almost four months along." No one deserved this misery._

Sighing, Nathan tossed the card on the table. He picked up the fallen photo and stared at the only picture he would ever have of his unborn child. Rolling onto his side, he continued to stare at the picture, the tears flowing down his cheek. He was feeling so many emotions: anger, hate, sadness, love. Anger and hate for the guy who caused him this sadness, and love for his wife and unborn child. The picture soon hit the floor as he fell asleep, the last thought on his mind being, "So this is what being 24 years old feels like."


	5. Silence

**I know, I know, I'm a terrible person.. So sorry for the lack of updates! I just got caught up with midterms, then there was your usual drama in life and I got sidetracked. And it might be awhile before the next chapter again, some major school stuff going on, but hopefully not too long before I update! Thanks for being so patient with me!**

**And again, thanks for all the feedback! You have no idea how much it means to me that you're actually reading and reviewing my story! And it definitely keeps me motivated, so thanks!**

**And now on with chapter 5… Hopefully it's not too confusing! Everything in italics is what's going on in Haley's mind right now. I think that there is a lot of back story and some foreshadowing in this chapter, so enjoy!**

_Silence enveloped her._

_It closed in on her usually vivacious life._

_And everything was silent._

_As she lied there as the doctors did their best to save her._

_While the rest of the world was silent with her, just waiting for her to wake up._

_And the silence grew._

_Leaving people's minds to wander._

_Wondering if they would lose another dear friend._

_And they were afraid._

"What the hell," Nathan mumbled as the phone rang. He reached over, groping the table trying to find it. "This better be good," he yawned. "It's after midnight."

"Nate, it's Brooke," the poor girl on the other end of the line was on the verge of tears. "I need you to get down to the hospital. It's Haley, she was in a car accident and I'm all by myself and I'm going crazy. Please come," she begged. "I can't do this again."

I can't do this again. She couldn't lose another friend to a car accident again; she couldn't go through the pain and suffering. Too many nights had been spent crying and shoving ice cream into her mouth. She wouldn't be able to emotionally handle it… again.

That same sentence was running through Nathan's head; he couldn't handle it either, he had lived through it once before too. "Brooke," he sighed. What could he say? It was the night of June 6th all over again.

"Please Nathan, I'm so scared," she cried before hanging up.

Damnit. He knew he should go. He at least owed Brooke that; she had been there for him. And although he knew he would probably regret it later, he threw on some clothes and left for the hospital.

_The silence was thick, tensions were high._

_The only mutters being heard were from doctors performing their job._

_And the normally bright girl was silent._

_Never before had she looked so lifeless._

_And it scared everyone._

"Brooke," Nathan yelled as he ran into the waiting room.

"Nathan, thank God you're here," she cried hugging him. "I was on the phone with her right before the accident and then the hospital called me because she doesn't have any family here and they checked her cell phone to see that I was the last person she was talking to. And now I'm here and no one will tell me anything," she paused trying to stop herself from crying, but it wasn't working. "I can't lose her Nate, I won't."

"Calm down," he said gently. "I'm sure everything will be fine; I'll try to find something out. Have you called anyone else?"

"I tried Luke, but he's too busy screwing that Rach-ho." As if she wasn't already having an awful day, knowing that Lucas was out with that Pam Anderson wannabe was just making things worse. "And Peyton has Jenny and Allie to worry about; she can't just leave."

"Call her," Nathan ordered. "She lives with Jake in case you forgot, I'm sure he can stay home." When Brooke was worried, she didn't always tend to think rationally.

"Okay," she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. It wasn't working. How could this be happening again? Living through it once had been enough; she couldn't take it the first time when hearing such a good friend had passed away.

"You going to be alright?" She was pale, clearly upset, and Nathan was afraid to leave her alone.

"Not really, but thanks for coming Nate, it means a lot." And it really did. She knew it couldn't have been easy for him to know that someone else was involved in such a serious car accident. Him showing up honestly meant the world to her; knowing that even though he could be an ass most of the time, he would still be there when she needed him.

_There she still lied, like something on display._

_Lifeless._

_As 4 people congregated right outside the room to discuss how her future would be lived._

_That is, if she did._

The doctor gathered the 3 outside the window to her room. "Her car was impacted on the passenger side which in her case was pretty fortunate. However, she suffered some internal bleeding which we were able to stop, a concussion, she fractured her wrist, and has the usual scrapes and bruises. She's still unconscious which worries me a bit, but she should be fine. Hopefully, she'll wake up in the next couple of days. Now I am a bit concerned about her suffering a relapse. I wouldn't recommend leaving her alone for long periods of time over the next couple of weeks, just to be safe."

"_Haley, we'd like you to meet the Greene's daughter Daytona," her parents said of the redhead who had knocked on the door. "Why don't you guys go play?"_

The three glanced at each other. What now? "Um, she lives by herself," Brooke spoke up.

"I see," the doctor nodded his head. "Is there any way she could stay with a family member or possibly one of you for awhile? I believe it's crucial to her health that she not live alone for the time being."

"_Okay," a timid Haley agreed. "Do you like Barbies? I just got some new outfits for my doll!"_

"_Not really, I'm more of a Nascar girl."_

"I would, but our apartment is hardly big enough for the three of us; it wouldn't be very comfortable." Peyton loved her life, she really did, but sometimes she just couldn't help but hope for more. She wanted to become Mrs. Jake Jagielski. She wanted to move into a house with a yard. She wanted the life she had always dreamed of, but some days it felt like it would never come.

"_What's Nascar," a confused Haley asked. How could this person like something called Nascar when there were beautiful Barbies to play with?_

"_Oh, do I have a lot to teach you," the spunky girl said with a wicked smile. She grabbed Haley's arm and dragged her over to her own house._

_It was the start of a beautiful friendship._

"And I'm leaving for Cancun on Saturday with Shane," Brooke confirmed. She couldn't even think about that; trying to make Lucas jealous was tiring, right now she needed to worry about her friend. The girls glanced over at Nathan who was trying hard not to meet their stares. "Nate?"

He was right before when he said he knew he would later regret coming to the hospital.

"She can stay with me."

_Seventeen hours passed and she was still silent._

_But she wasn't alone._

_The others were silent with her._

_Three very worried people sat across the room all thinking about their tumultuous lives._

_Lives filled with loss of life._

_Life that had once been bright._

_And like before, it was being threatened to be taken away from someone they loved._

"Coffee?" Nathan held up a cup of caffeine in front of Brooke's face.

"Thanks," she smiled graciously. "And again, thanks for coming Nate. I know she's not your favorite person—"

"That's not really true," he cut her off. "I don't know her very well, she's just always been sort of hostile towards me and I guess I was the same to her." But she had her reasons for being hostile, and those reasons caused him to be the same in return.

_An ecstatic Haley ran into Daytona's bedroom waving a letter in the air. "I got into Duke," she shouted, jumping up and down._

"_Me too," Daytona exclaimed, also joining Haley in her celebratory dance. "We're going to be roomies!"_

"Why was she so hostile," Peyton inquired. When she first hung out with both Haley and Nathan at the same time all those years ago, she had noticed a tension in the air. It seemed to fade as the years went on, but Peyton always wondered what went on between the two.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "It's complicated, I guess." He really wasn't in the sharing mood today. He just hoped his cousin would get the hint and leave him alone.

_And once again, everything was silent._

There the three of them sat, just waiting for Haley to wake from her deep slumber. So many questions ran through their minds; the most important was perhaps Haley needed to seek professional help. She was slowly deteriorating, the last few months were hard on her. True, they had been rough on everyone, but it seemed like Haley suffered the most; and no one was sure why.

She said there had been a fight; an ugly one that ended with Haley proclaiming she never wanted to see Daytona again. But no one knew what exactly had happened. The secrets she had been keeping would soon explode, hurting many people in the process.

_Haley paced around her apartment; that was not how it was supposed to go! She had just wanted to talk to Daytona, get feelings out in the open, but yet that didn't happen. Daytona just did not get it; she didn't get that Haley had feelings too. And while the argument may have been Haley's fault, things that were said to her had still been hard to hear._

Haley was someone that they, especially Brooke and Peyton, thought they all knew. Her usually friendly demeanor was heartwarming; she was always so kind to everyone. And now she was only a shell of the person she used to be. Something changed; something blew out that fire in her. That something was the horrific event that killed her best friend.

"_How do you think I always felt living in your shadow?"_

"_Then stop living vicariously through me! You need to get your own life, instead of trying to take mine!"_

Karen hastily ran into Haley's hospital room; she came as soon as she heard. The other three in the room all looked up at her with sad expressions upon her entering. "How is she?" All she got in response were heads hung low. And the same thought ran through her head- Why was this happening again? "You know, you guys should really go home and get some rest."

"I'm not leaving her here," Brooke said with a broken voice. "I can't do it." This was absolutely killing her inside.

"_You want to hear me say it! You got the life I always wanted!"_

"_The life you wanted? You think I wanted a kid at 19? If that's the life you wanted, then be my guest, you can have it!_

"I'll stay for awhile. At least go home and shower, and eat some real food," Karen tried persuading them. Sitting here, agonizing over this unfortunate accident was doing them more harm than good.

"She's right Brooke," Peyton said standing up. "Just for a little bit, and I'll promise we'll come right back, okay?" The brunette reluctantly nodded her head before standing up also. "You coming Nate?"

"Right behind you," he said following them out of the room. Hospitals were depressing; it would do all of them so good to get a change of scenery.

"_Well, be glad you have your perfect little family, just consider me not a part of it anymore! Next time you see me, don't talk to me!"_

Karen pulled up a chair next to the bed. "Haley," she began. "It's Karen, can you hear me?" She paused, willing Haley to make some kind of movement, but yet there was none. "I know that we don't talk often, but I can see how much you mean to the people in this room. They're all hurting; they hate that their friends have been in so much pain… They need you back Haley." That was the bottom line, they needed her back. "And once you're well, stop by the café and I'll get you some pie." A little bribery never hurt anyone, she thought. Karen gently squeezed her hand and got up to leave. Turning around she saw her son leaning against the door frame.

"You're a good person mom," he said wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "You've always been the glue that holds everyone together."

"And I'm afraid that glue is getting weaker," she sighed. "Brooke and Peyton looked absolutely beside themselves. I just wish I could ease the pain for everyone." Karen Roe was a woman of many talents. She ran two successful businesses and had raised a wonderful young man. People came to her when they had problems and she welcomed them with open arms. All she ever wanted was to protect her family, but things were too far beyond her control anymore.

_There she was, all dressed up with no place to go. She could have gone to the party at the Scott house, but she figured it would be too awkward if she did. Sipping the wine she had poured herself, Haley fingered through an old photo album from her teenage years. Those years weren't much different from her adult life; she was still considered second best._

"You've helped already; without you, the four of us wouldn't even be friends, and then we all would have never met Haley… Just know that when she wakes up, she's going to hold you to that pie," he chuckled.

She half-heartedly laughed with her son, but her gaze fell again on the girl lying there; it was just so awful to see this happening.

The girl Karen had met three years ago, when Peyton had brought her along for a weekend, was so brightly filled with life. Haley soon became more of a fixture in Tree Hill, seeming to mold perfectly into their little group. But as the present approached, Karen could see that girl she had once known begin to fade away. It was a feeling Karen knew all too well; she too had once started pulling away from friends and family. She found herself in a dark place and was stuck there until one person offered his hand to help her out.

_There was a knock at the door and Haley glanced up in surprise. Who would be visiting her this late? As she opened the door, she found a tearful Brooke on the other side. "Brooke, what's wrong?"_

"It means a lot to them that you came mom," Lucas admitted. "This is really hitting the girls hard; they've already lost one of their best friends this year." He wished Brooke would let him comfort her, but it seemed that she was just putting even more distance between them; he thought he would never have another chance.

"And it pains me to see them like this too; they're like my own daughters," she sighed, her mind once again drifting back to her own shaky past.

_The only thing she could remember after that was waking up in her bed. She must have passed out shortly after Brooke had told her the traumatic news. _

_Her best friend was dead, and Haley still had so much to tell her, so much to get out in the open. But it was too late, and she didn't know if she could ever forgive herself for ruining things._

"Why don't we go get some food? Wonder woman needs her strength," he joked, trying to lighten the mood. Every time something terrible happened, his mom always stepped up. And while he always admired her for her great strength, he knew she would wear herself out sooner or later.

"Actually, I think I'm just going to stay here for awhile, make sure everything's okay," she said, sitting back down. Her son hesitated, but nodded before leaving the room. As much as he wanted to protect his mom, she would always have the upper hand in making sure she was the protector.

_And it was silent._

Karen sat there, the only sound being the beeping of the machine in the background. And she pondered the life she had chosen; these moments always causing people to rethink their lives, wondering what would have happened if they had taken a different path.

"_Haley, we've been in college for three months and you have yet to attend a party with me! The only party you've been to is when you visited your sister over spring break last year and I wasn't even with you that time! So get your ass up and get ready!"_

She figured her first mistake was to fall in love with Dan Scott, but at the same time, she couldn't consider that a mistake. That mistake had brought her the one thing she loved most in her life, and that was Lucas. And while she may not have been thrilled at the time, being a mother was what she considered the most fulfilling; more than what she would have been if Dan had gone pro, and she became another trophy wife.

"_I'm just not in the mood to go to a party," she shrugged. She didn't feel like doing anything anymore._

"_You cannot sulk anymore! You've become a sulker! What the hell happened?"_

But it had been Dan's mistake to cut them from his life, and moving on to Deborah Lee. When she heard the news that they had a son and were getting married, she felt her entire world crumble. She had lost that one thing she thought she could believe in.

"_I slept with someone," she blurted out causing Daytona to stop in her tracks and stare at her roommate. Haley nodded, answering her silent question, "I didn't mean for it to happen.. it just did."_

But it was when she was working three jobs and trying to take care of a son that things got worse. Dan and Deb moved back to Tree Hill, and people started talking again. Rumors were flying and she had gotten more looks and stares than she would have liked.

"_Well, well, my little Hales has become a slut! Who's the lucky guy?" Before she could answer, they were interrupted by a knock on the door. "We'll continue this conversation later, Nathan's here."_

"_Nathan…?" She knew she had heard that name before, but Daytona talked a lot; it could have been anyone._

Karen did her best to move on, but seeing the man who had once claimed to love her frolic around town with his new wife wasn't easy. And she felt her life slowly slipping away from her until someone gave her a way out.

"_My boyfriend, remember?"_

Keith Scott had been there since the day Dan had left. He was there when Lucas was born; he was there when Karen needed him most. And it was him who gave Karen the idea of starting her own café; he offered to help take care of Lucas when she needed it.

And suddenly, Karen had more of a positive outlook on life; she could see that it was okay to ask for help. She became stronger, and independent, distancing herself from Dan's name as much as possible. All it took was one person believing in her, one person to change her life around. She could only hope that there would be one person who would change Haley's life around.

"Okay, I'm back," Brooke said strolling into the room and taking a seat. "Don't worry Karen, I showered and ate! I just don't want to be away for too long, you know just in case…"

"Brooke," she said gently. "What's really going on?"

Closing her eyes, Brooke let out a deep breath before speaking. "In high school, I was popular. Everyone always wanted to be me or at least be friends with me. But how many of those people could I really trust? Peyton was the only person I would actually talk to, and while I love her to death, I just wish that I had truer friends rather than some of the minions that followed me around." Karen nodded in understanding; during her high school years, it felt like some people only talked to her because she was dating Dan. The feeling that people were using you was a horrible one to have.

"Then college came, and Peyton and I were hundreds of miles away from each other until Nathan introduced me to his new girlfriend and her best friend. And within weeks, I had come to find how much I could trust these girls, and how important they were to me. And then sophomore year, Peyton transferred to Duke since Jake had graduated and moved back to Tree Hill also. Our group was complete, but then Daytona died and our little group was just missing this spirit," she said sadly. "And it was down to the three of us, all mourning the loss of such a great person… To have to go through this again is not what I thought my life would be like at 23."

"Oh Brooke," Karen said rushing to the girl's side. "Haley's a strong girl; she's going to be just fine. And you know that she wouldn't want you beating yourself up over something you had no control over."

"But I was with her that day; I could see the pain in her eyes. She thinks she covers it up, but we know how she really feels. Her eyes always give her away… We knew she needed help, but yet we did nothing," she said with shame. Why hadn't she done anything? Haley had been there for her so many times before, and when she was silently asking for help, Brooke simply watched her fade away.

"That's not true, you gave her someone to talk to," Karen reminded her. "And that can help more than you know." When she had found out that she was pregnant, she had been so alone. Dan was gone, her parents were gone; she had no one. Until Keith showed up on her doorstep one day, offering himself for comfort.

"I was on the phone with her before the accident," Brooke said as a look of shock passed over Karen's face. "She was going to yell at me for showing concern, when the next thing I heard was tires screeching before the line went dead."

"Listen to me Brooke, this is not your fault. It seems like Haley was too far gone for anyone to reach her." This worried Karen greatly, these situations were difficult to deal with. They needed to be approached carefully with caution. All they needed now was a plan.

"Her and Nathan are a lot alike," Brooke realized aloud. "They both put up walls that no one can break down. I just worry for Nathan's breaking point, since clearly, this was Haley's." And right now, dealing with this was hard; she wasn't sure if everyone would be able to handle another breakdown.

"We can only be strong for them, but you need to take care of yourself too, okay? Promise you'll do that," Karen asked to which Brooke nodded her head. Karen had known the bubbly brunette for many years, seeing her so down on herself shattered her heart.

"Hey guys," Peyton greeted them as she and Nathan walked into the room. "Uh Karen, we stopped by the café to eat, and Aunt Deb said she needed you back as soon as possible… Something about an unconfirmed order of utensils I think; she wasn't sure what to do."

Karen sighed standing up. "Back to the madness!" But the madness was right here in this room; she was only escaping it for a few hours.

After Karen had left the room, Peyton and Nathan both took the seats they had previously had. "How is she?" Peyton asked cautiously. As worried as she was about Haley, she was equally worried for Brooke.

_The only answer she got was silence._

Brooke was about to reach her own breaking point; she couldn't take this anymore. Grabbing her purse, she stood quickly before dashing out of the room. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she knew she couldn't stay there any longer.

She frantically pushed the buttons on the elevator; the quicker she got out of there, the better. Minutes later the doors opened revealing a concerned Lucas. And that's when everything fell apart; that's when the tears started flowing.

Lucas rushed out of the elevator, hugging her tightly. "Brooke, what's wrong," he asked as he moved them over to a secluded corner. The tears just kept spilling down her cheeks though, the buildup over the last couple days finally exploding. "Brooke," he said again gently.

"I can't do this anymore," she said in between her cries, and that was all he needed to know. He continued trying to soothe her; trying anything to get her to smile. But the only thing that would get her to truly smile again was to have Haley James around again.

If only they had known…

_And then her body was filled with life._

_Her chocolate brown eyes opened, taking in her surroundings._

_Within seconds, Peyton was at her side and had sent Nathan for a doctor._

_Things were going fine until he walked in a few minutes later._

_Dr. Bryan Cooper._

_And she started to shake, tears welling up in her eyes._

_Her friends could get no answer from her._

_And she was silent. _

Peyton sent the doctor away, asking for a minute alone. "Hales, what's wrong?"

_But she was still silent._

Nathan glanced at Peyton with a questioning gaze. What was going on? Peyton simply shrugged at her confusion, puzzled herself. "Haley, the doctor just wants to help you," she said gently. This was truly bizarre behavior for Haley; she never acted like this.

Sniffling, Haley cleared her throat, trying to get the words out. "Just get me a new doctor," she said in a hoarse whisper. Peyton silently nodded before excusing herself from the room. She pulled Nathan along with her out to the hall. "Something's up with that doctor," she announced.

"No kidding Sherlock," he replied sarcastically. "Since when is Haley afraid of someone like that?"

"Exactly, and it worries me. So I was thinking, maybe you could go talk to him, you know, find out what's going on…" Haley had been through enough already; they didn't need to question her for fear she would shut down on them again.

"Alright," he agreed. "I'll go find him." He took off down the hall, only having to go down one floor to find just the person he was looking for. "So what was that about," he demanded as he approached Dr. Cooper in the hall. "What could you have possibly done to make her so afraid?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," the sleazy doctor denied.

"Oh, I think you do," he announced. "So talk. Or maybe I should have a talk with your advisor."

"Okay, okay, fine," Bryan conceded. "She was interviewing me the other day for some magazine, and things just got a little out of hand."

"Out of hand how?" Nathan suddenly had an uneasy feeling wash over him, and became very concerned. He may not have known Haley very well, but he knew of guys like Bryan, and how they treated women. At one point in his life, Nathan had acted the same way.

"Nothing major, she just sort of came on to me, but I had to turn her down. I wasn't going to say anything, but since you brought it up, I guess she was just embarrassed."

Within seconds, Nathan had grabbed him by his collar and threw him against the wall. "I don't think that's what happened at all. Now I suggest you stay far away from Haley James; in fact, stay far away from all women," he ordered and prepared to knock the doctor out before being interrupted by a ruckus down the hall.

A frantic woman rushed to the nurse's desk. He thought she looked really familiar, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. She wasn't overly tall and had light brown hair; in her purple tank top, white cardigan, and jeans, Nathan could say she looked almost like…

"I'm looking for Haley James," she exclaimed. "I'm her mother."

Ah, Lydia James. Nathan had met her a few times over the years; she and Jimmy had been at the wedding. He always found her a bit eccentric at times, but could tell she had a good heart.

"We'll finish this later," Nathan sneered at the doctor before turning his attention back to the nurse's desk. "Mrs. James?" The woman looked over at him confused.

"Nathan," she smiled. "How are you?"

"Not too well as I'm sure you've heard, but that is not really important right now. Let me take you to Haley." He was sure she was concerned about the well being of her daughter and had to be going crazy not knowing what was going on.

Lydia let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you dear. I got Brooke's message yesterday, but it was so hard to understand her; she was crying so much. So I got Jimmy to drive me down first thing and then we got into some trouble with a couple truck drivers at the gas station, but luckily Jimmy is pretty good at poker. I on the other hand can't tell the difference between a straight and a flush, which always makes me wonder, why do they call it a flush? I mean, why not," she paused mid-ramble seeing the bewildered look on Nathan's face. "Sorry," she smiled. "Let's find Haley, shall we?" He nodded before motioning in the direction they would be walking.

It wasn't long before they were back to the room Haley was staying in. Brooke was still no where to be found, worrying everyone. Peyton sat next to Haley on the bed, talking to her about anything she could think of; anything to get her mind off of what had been going on.

"Haley-bub," her mom exclaimed, tears glistening in her eyes, as soon as they entered the room.

"Mom," she smiled. "Why are you here?" She was truly happy to see her mother; it had been so long. Lydia just shook her head, ignoring the question. The two women quickly embraced; a Kodak moment that could not be ruined.

And for a second, the others in the room saw a genuine smile cross Haley's features. Nathan figured the issue with the doctor could wait. In fact, all the drama could wait until tomorrow, and oh, would the drama soon explode.

But for now, things were at peace.

_And it was silent._


	6. One is the Loneliest Number

**What's this? A new update! I'm just as surprised as all of you!**

**Soo this chapter, I rewrote at least 4 or 5 times, that was why the wait was so long.. I'm still not completely happy with it, but hey I'm just the writer!**

**Also, a little shoutout to Emma's 1st birthday party on Friends, that party inspired a scene in here.. Those that saw that episode will know what I'm talking about!**

**As always, thanks for the replies! It keeps me motivated! **

**Chapter 6**

The sun shone brightly through the gray hospital blinds, and onto a woman who was very eager to leave. She had been cramped up in that hospital all week, but today, she was finally free of the dreary place. In a few hours, she got to leave the beeping machines and creepy doctors behind.

Her freedom came at a price though, and the amount on that price tag was having to live at Nathan's house for three weeks, which she was absolutely dreading. However, she couldn't deny how excited she was to see Allie more often. In college, Haley often played the role of babysitter whenever Nathan and Daytona needed a break. But she didn't mind, she adored Allie. And it always reminded her how much she wanted a daughter of her own in the future.

Living with Nathan Scott was truly an event that she would once have believed to only happen on Fear Factor; she for one was completely scared (and annoyed) out of her mind that he was the person she ended up with. Whenever they were alone, things tended to get heated, and she just wasn't feeling up to it anymore.

But it didn't matter, because in the end, she got to leave the hospital and get back to her life. It was time for her fresh start; she needed to move on from the past. All she had to do was wait, just one more hour, and she would be free.

It wasn't long there after that a bubby Brooke breezed into the room. She had become a fixture in the hospital, only leaving when necessary, or whenever Haley kicked her out. "Brooke," Haley exclaimed. "Your plane leaves in like four hours! What are you doing here?"

"Had to come say goodbye to my favorite tutor girl of course," she said cheerfully. "Actually, I came to take you back to Nathan's… Allie is sick and he doesn't want to take her out of the house, so I volunteered! You ready to go?"

"Hell yes," she replied a little too eagerly.

"Wow, someone's excited," Brooke smirked.

"You would be too if you had spent the last week being poked and prodded by annoying doctors."

"None of this had to happen in the first place Hales," she muttered under her breath, but covered up quickly. "Right, I'll go get the nurse."

The discharge papers were filed in record time and Haley was being wheeled out to the car as fast as she could get them to go. That hospital would always remind her of the unpleasant events in her life; she wanted to be as far away from it all as possible.

On the car ride back to Nathan's, Brooke hadn't stopped talking in the last five minutes, leaving Haley's mind to wander. She wasn't the least bit worried about whatever it was Brooke was complaining about; she was leaving for Cancun in a few hours! No, Haley had problems of her own.

She wondered how her life had become such a mess in such a short period of time. It had only been a little more than four months since Daytona had died, and yet things seemed to keep getting worse by the minute. She knew she was hurting herself; she knew she was ruining perfectly good relationships. But she couldn't stop, and even though she tried hard, Haley wondered how long it would be before everything was in complete destruction.

Haley wanted to know why her life couldn't be as carefree as Brooke's, or as under control as Peyton's. She was jealous of the freedom they seemed to have. It was like something had a hold over her, and she couldn't escape from it, whatever it was. All she wanted was to go back to her old life… go back to when she was _happy. _

"Haley, are you even listening?"

"Um... uh, yeah, wear the purple bikini, definitely," was all she could muster.

"Right, purple bikini was like ten minutes ago… What's on your mind?" Haley just shook her head, not wanting to discuss her thoughts. "You can tell me Hales," she spoke softly. "I won't say anything if you don't want me to."

"How's come your life comes so easily," she blurted out. It just wasn't fair that Brooke seemed to have no problems, while her own kept piling up.

"Please, if my life is easy, then Deb's boobs are real," she joked, but Haley seemed unamused. "It's not easy; life isn't easy. Why do you think that?"

"I just... I want life to be normal again, you know? I want life to be like it was before crazy bosses, horrible deadlines, and boyfriends came along. I don't want to be like this anymore, Brooke," she cried out exasperated.

"Sometimes, it's not a matter of what you want, but growing up and getting what you need," Brooke said gently as she pulled up to the house. She wanted to finish that sentence and say, "like needing help," but she knew better; Haley wouldn't respond well to that kind of insinuation. "We're here," she said brightly, quickly ending that conversation. "Aw look, our knight in shining armor is waiting for us." And surely enough, Nathan was sitting on the front step of the porch, waiting for the girls.

"Hey slave boy," Brooke shouted out. "You can get Haley's bags, I'm off to the airport." She turned to face her friend one last time. "It'll be okay, everything will work itself out," she said before hugging her. "I'll see you in a couple weeks."

Haley waved goodbye as Brooke drove off. Slowly, she turned around to face Nathan, his arms full with bags. 'And so it begins,' she thought to herself as he led her into the house.

"Okay, well you can stay in the guest room," Nathan said placing her bags on the floor. "Just let me know if you need anything."

Haley slowly sat down on the bed and started taking things from her purse. "Nathan," she called out. "Thanks. For doing this I mean. I know you're not exactly thrilled." Nathan sighed and opened his mouth to speak. "Don't deny it," she chuckled. "I just want you to know that uh I really… I appreciate it," she smiled. She was at least going to make an effort. Maybe it was time to put the past behind them, start over. Anyone could see that the inhabitants of Tree Hill needed a fresh start. They needed to escape the tangled web that had been woven; little did they know how much more tangled it would soon become.

Nathan gave her a small smile before exiting the room. Sighing with relief, Haley lied down and closed her eyes. Her mind was racing. It was hard being in the home that her best friend had created. It was a place where she herself had many memories in. But now, the house had lost its warmness; there was a cold feeling to it. Haley could see how hard Nathan was trying to make things more normal, but it was clear how greatly he was struggling.

The five minutes she had been in the house had already been weird. She wondered how she was going to make it through the next nineteen days, eleven hours, and thirty-six minutes; she knew it was a feat that would be difficult to accomplish. She could only pray that she didn't end up killing Nathan before her time was up.

Haley opened her eyes to look around the beautifully decorated room. She had always admired their home; it was a gift to the couple from Nathan's parents when they married. And in the short time they lived in it up until Daytona's death, the spectacular parties that went on there were events that you could never miss. But now, it was empty.

She thought back to the letter Daytona had written her. "Take care of Nathan and Allie," seeming to be the main point. And Haley would do what her friend asked, it was the least she could do. Even if it meant having to spend time with a guy who treated her like dirt, she would do it with a smile.

Her thoughts were broken as a high spirited woman came down the hallway. "Where are you favorite child of mine but don't let your brothers and sisters know that," Lydia James sing-songed as she strolled into the room. "How's my baby doing?"

"Fine mom, just tired," she said. "But what about you, how long are you staying for? Not that I mind, it's just odd I suppose."

She had been surprised to see her mom at the hospital; her parents had been traveling the country since she had left for college. And even though she knew they would always be there for her, the holidays they had missed had been some of the loneliest ones.

But Nathan and Daytona… or at least Daytona, had been willing to help her, willing to fill the empty void her parents had left. And as much as she appreciated it, there were times when she just wanted to have her own family.

"Trying to kick me out are you," she winked at her daughter. "You can't get rid of me that easy you know…"

"Mom," she giggled. "Stop, I just wanted to know."

"One last night," she finally said. "Nathan invited me to stay here tonight so I don't have to go back to that hotel… And let me tell you, he is one fine piece of man if I have ever seen one. Now, don't go telling your daddy this, because you know your father, he'll probably go into some jealous rage or something, but oh! To be twenty-five again would be lovely right now."

"Mom," Haley repeated again. "Feel free to stop whenever."

"Sorry Haley-bop, you know how I get," she smiled. "Anyways, I'm cooking dinner for you guys since it's my last night here before hitting the road again… Should be ready by about six, so make sure you come hungry," she said and then left the room, almost as quickly as she had entered.

"And that's my mother, ladies and gentlemen," Haley silently chuckled to herself. As if she wasn't already having a hard enough time struggling with the new reality, having her mother here was just making her miss the past that much more.

…

The only sounds heard in the large kitchen were silverware clinking against their plates. Nathan, Haley, and Lydia were all seated around the table eating the delicious pot roast Lydia had made. The silence was awkward, and there was a definite tension in the air, but no one wanted to make the next move.

Lydia wondered how life had come to this point; how did they all end up together? The last few months had been chaos apparently, and she wished she would have been around to help out more. She was always so proud of her youngest daughter. To her, Haley was always an independent spirit; she never needed her parents to lean on. She didn't bring home the court dates like her older brother Ryan, and she didn't have the pregnancy scares like Taylor. Haley was always the strong child.

But coming back to Tree Hill, Lydia had noticed something different. The spark in Haley's eyes had disappeared; a piece of her seemed empty. And it scared Lydia to know that her daughter was losing her strength. But this was a battle Haley had to fight herself, and all her mother could do was simply sit back and watch.

She couldn't take this silence anymore. What happened to her energetic daughter who could ramble a mile a minute? "So I never did congratulate you Nathan on signing with the Bobcats," Lydia finally said aloud. "How are you liking it so far?"

"The team is great," he nodded. "Unfortunately, I haven't had a lot of opportunities to play with them as of this moment," he chuckled while pointing at his ankle. "But the coaches are nice, and I think it's going to be a great season."

"Maybe Jimmy and I will have to come down to one of your games; we just have to see 'the great Nathan Scott' for ourselves," she winked.

"Well, I don't know about that," he said modestly. "But I would love it for you guys to come." This was nice; he hadn't had any sense of a family at all over the last few months. He could definitely get used too it again though.

Once again, the awkward silence fell over them. If this wasn't the strangest situation to be, Haley didn't know what would be! She was sitting with her best friend's husband, and her mother. It was something straight out of the movies, and she only hoped it would end soon. "Is Allie feeling better," she directed at Nathan.

"Yeah, I think it's just a cold, nothing major to worry about," he replied. "I'm sure she'll feel fine by tomorrow."

"That's good to hear," Lydia broke in. "I could tell you some stories about that girl over there," she motioned to Haley. "I think she pretended to be sick almost every day of fifth grade just so she could stay home and hang out me. Apparently, that was before she decided I was uncool," she mocked making air quotes with her fingers.

"Mom," Haley tried to stop her as Nathan chuckled.

"Am I embarrassing you sweetie? I guess I shouldn't tell Nathan about the time I found you locked in the closet because Taylor sent you in there saying she promised to send one of her guy friends in to play '7 Minutes in Heaven,' " she winked. Nathan continued to howl with laughter.

"Okay mom, Nathan doesn't really care about my life," a flushed Haley stammered. 'Why me,' she thought to herself. 'Just take me now God!'

"Don't worry about it Haley, I'm sure my mom has some stories that will haunt me for the rest of my life," Nathan assured. "Trust me, you don't even want to know."

"Then I'll be sure to ask Deb about it later," Haley chuckled. The ice had been broken. The three fell into comfortable conversation and it was like they had all known each other their entire lives.

It was what a mother did best: fix her children's problems when they were too far beyond fixing themselves. Lydia James' job here was done.

…

Two weeks had gone by and Haley found herself more at home everyday. Maybe it was because Nathan was hardly ever there, but whatever the reason, it was not as bad as she thought it would be.

Haley and Allie had plenty of time to spend together. When Nathan was at practice, they would go to a park, or hang out with Peyton and Jenny. Yes, for once, a situation that could have been awful had made Haley's life more positive. Things were slowly falling back into place; the demons of the past were staying where they belonged for now- in the past.

The only thing that hadn't come so easily to her this week was sleep, and that's where she was now. The clock read 1:27, and she had yet to fall asleep tonight. You see, at night, Haley is only with herself. The darkness only leaves her and her thoughts. No matter how peaceful and happy the day was, the darkness would remind her of the bad things, because it was in the darkness where the bad things began.

Across the hall, she could hear the whimperings of a little girl. Apparently, the darkness reminded everyone of the bad things in life. Not wanting her to be in pain, Haley got out of bed and walked into Allie's room. The little girl lied on the bed with tears streaking her face. Haley immediately tried to comfort her, "Allie… Allie… You okay?"

"I want mommy," she cried out.

"I want to see your mommy too Al," Haley sighed. "But you know we can't." Her heart broke at such a sad sight. It wasn't fair that this child would have to grow up without a mother; it just wasn't right.

"Will you read to me," she asked as she climbed out of bed to retrieve a book.

"Of course," Haley smiled, settling down in the rocking chair. How could she say no to such a broken, but yet angelic face?

"My mommy used to read this to me every night," Allie said. She placed the children's book Love You Forever in Haley's hands before climbing onto her lap.

Haley opened the book and began to read, "I'll love you forever, I'll love you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

…

Nathan lied in bed, wide awake as usual. Sleep was a rare occurrence for him as of late, and when it did happen, the nightmares he had were too painful to bear.

Over the course of the last couple weeks, Nathan had avoided his home as much as possible. He didn't mean to be as far from Allie as he often was, but it was just easier for everyone if he wasn't there. So he spent the majority of the week at the gym, working hard to perfect his game.

He could hear sounds coming from down the hall; sounds that were all too familiar. Honestly, he couldn't believe it to be true. There was no way Daytona was in Allie's room, was there? Was he dreaming? He got up, and shuffled down to his daughter's room, eager to find what he wanted to see.

Her auburn locks flowed loosely around her shoulders; her white camisole was snug around her torso. For a second, Nathan could have sworn it was his wife, and truthfully, he wanted it to be. But then he heard her voice, and his dreams were shattered.

"Haley, can I talk to you for a second," he asked, standing in the doorway. "Allie, I'll be back to tuck you in, okay?" He ushered Haley back over to her own room. "Haley, I only let you stay here because there was no where else for you to go."

"I know," she nodded. "And I've told you how much I appreciate it."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to fill some sort of role in this house. You aren't Allie's mother," his voice began to rise. "She had a great mother, a brilliant mother; one who cared about her more than anything else."

"I know," Haley repeated again, shocked at his accusations. She could never consider that possibility!

"So don't try to be her mother," Nathan exclaimed before lowering his voice. "I'm so grateful that you've been looking after her so much, but no matter how much you want it, you're just her friend."

As he turned and left the room, Haley stood there, mouth open wide. Maybe a part of her did wish she was Allie's mother or at least she wanted a family of her own. And now, things with Nathan had just gone from bad to worse, just as they were starting to stand on sable ground. Haley flopped down onto the bed, holding a pillow over her face. Just when her life seemed to be getting better, there was always something to keep it from happening.

…

Music blasted through the enormous speakers; few people were on the dance floor. Brightly colored streamers hung from the ceiling and a pile of presents stood taller than most of the people who had brought them. Yes, today was Lucas' birthday and everyone was ready to celebrate.

"Ew, who is that skank on Lucas' arm," a very pissed off Brooke demanded. And already, the party began with a bang. Just because he was the birthday boy didn't mean he could hook up with randoms in front of her.

"Oh that's Stephanie," Peyton explained. The three girls were sitting around one of Tric's raised tables, eating the cake they had stolen from the kitchen. "They met last weekend and have been hanging out a lot all week." She had been dying for Brooke to come home so she could see the look on her friend's face when she heard the news.

"Whore," Brooke declared. "She's only after his money."

Peyton and Haley shared a look. "Oh shut up," Brooke scoffed. She took a minute to glance around the room. Two could play at this game; she would just find a guy of her own. "Oh look who decided to arrive." The other two looked up to see Nathan had just walked through the door.

"Now the party can really begin," Peyton said sarcastically. "Oh no."

"What?" Again, their attentions focused on the door as Dan Scott strolled in.

She had spoken truthfully; the party was just getting started.

…

"_Happy Birthday to you…"_

So far, the party was going smoothly. Except for Nathan who had literally said only two words to Haley, "Hi Haley," things were fine. Even Dan seemed to be having a good time laughing with his sons. But sometimes, that was the worst Dan to encounter; he usually had something up his sleeve.

"_Happy birthday to youuuuuuu!" _The crowd finished, Tim Smith ridiculously holding on to that last note. And with a breath of air, the candles on the cake were out; people cheering him on.

The squeal of the microphone grabbed everyone's attention. "Yeah, happy birthday Luke," a slightly buzzed Skills shouted. The two had been friends for over a decade, and more recently business partners as Lucas ventured out in the agency world. "Just remember who can still beat your ass out on the court!"

Nathan wrestled the microphone away from Skills to say a few words himself. "That's right, me! And don't forget it!" Karen hurriedly took the stage to get the guys off before they humiliated themselves even further.

"Um, thanks for that boys," she chuckled. "Happy birthday from all of us Lucas, I love you my boy." Quickly, she left the stage, wanting to hide the microphone as far away from… pretty much everyone… as possible.

Soon, the cake, that was already missing a few pieces, was cut, and eaten. The party began to calm down; old friends were simply catching up. Haley walked towards the table, taking in the sights around her. It seemed like everyone was best friends with everyone else. They all knew so much about each other's lives, further reminding her where she had come from, which was not Tree Hill.

She took her seat, just as Peyton was trying to leave hers. "Get me out of here," the blonde exclaimed.

"Peyton," Dan's voice boomed as Peyton silently sulked back into the chair. "How's your father?"

"Fine, and your wife," she asked with a sickly sweet smile. Her relationship with Dan had always been a strange one. Even from a young age, Peyton had always gotten a creepy feeling when around him, and it still lasted today. She was one of the few that knew how to push his buttons, and annoy him to no end.

"Still around. Guess she can't get enough of me," he smirked. "Miss Davis," he acknowledged. "Miss James." The other two said their hellos politely, offering no sign of friendliness. "Miss James, I've been meaning to ask you, how is life as a Scott?"

"Excuse me sir?"

"Well, you've been living with my son, enjoying the rich life I'm sure," he insinuated. "My son has always had a way with the ladies…"

"That's enough dad," Nathan said coming up behind him. He saw the situation and wanted to stop it before it even happened.

"I was just stating a mere fact," the older man said with wide eyes. "You might as well be married to this young woman, she acts like she is a part of this family anyways." The rest of the group stood in shock, but they knew, it was who Dan Scott was.

"Dad," Nathan tried to stop him again, but he was on a roll.

"Daytona is a distant memory now, isn't she? And here is someone else, wanting to be a part of the Scott family dynasty," he said dramatically. As he turned to face Haley again, he found that she had disappeared. The bystanders saw her leave minutes before the evil man had finished his oh so charming speech; she hadn't even heard the last thing he had said. But it was evident in the faces of everyone at the party: Dan Scott had struck again.

…

Haley swung her feet back and forth, wiping a stray tear that had fallen down her cheek. Dan was right, she didn't belong here; this was Daytona's family, not hers. She just felt so out of place, these people had known each other forever; she was simply the outcast. As a crisp wind across the roof, Haley heard footsteps coming up behind her.

"Saw you run out here," the older Scott brother confessed, seeing the question in her eyes. "Just wanted to make sure everything was okay." Haley shook her head furiously, but yet offered no words. "You want to talk about it?" Once again, she shook her head. Sighing, Lucas sat down next to her on the ledge. "Look, I know that we aren't the best of friends, but I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. I know how much of a handful Brooke and Peyton can be," he chuckled, silently jumping for joy as she did the same.

"Thanks," she said quietly. "It's nothing… just feeling a little overwhelmed."

"The Scott family can do that to you," he laughed again, but stopped as he saw her face fall. Now he understood. "Haley, when I was in high school, I was considered the outcast. For the first three years, I was practically alone, and hardly had any friends. But I changed that, I became a part of a new group of people. And although Nathan and the guys hazed me at first, he soon came to accept me as did the rest of the team," he stopped talking as he noticed tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "There is a group of people inside that building who have already accepted you and love you. They're worried about you. So don't feel like you're alone, 'cause you're not."

Then the tears came splashing down. "Oh Luke, I messed up," she sobbed as Lucas put an arm around her. "I lied to my best friend for years and now I can't tell her the truth… You can just add that to the list of things I've done wrong I guess. She hated me that day she died anyways so what's the difference?"

"What are you talking about?"

"No, it's your birthday," she exclaimed standing up. "Let's go celebrate!"

She wanted to tell him so bad, but she couldn't. The secret had been eating at her for the last few years; the secret Daytona had never found out. But if only she had known she could trust Lucas, for he held a secret similar to his own.

She knew though that the secret wouldn't stay that way forever; she wasn't naïve enough to believe otherwise. Soon, the secrets of people who had been friends for years would come out, and the consequences would blow up in everyone's face. Friendships would be broken, and engagements called off; it was only a matter of time.

…

"God, Brad is such a jerk," Haley exclaimed tossing her latest US Weekly on the floor. It didn't matter if guys were famous or not, they all felt like they had the right to use women as property. Women were treated like a toy, something men desired, but were discarded of once they didn't perform anymore. It was a feeling she had once experienced, a feeling that one semi-drunken night had caused. That night in turn caused years of lying, years of deceit.

"Trouble in paradise," Nathan smirked picking up the magazine as he walked into the room. "Sorry, I didn't know you were watching TV in here," he said awkwardly. "I'll just go upstairs."

"No, stay. It's your house," she reminded him. "You can change the channel if you want."

"Nah, it's alright; whatever you're watching is fine," he said immediately regretting it when he realized she was watching the Notebook. Daytona had made him watch it once, and while he had to admit, Rachel McAdams was pretty hot, he didn't care much for the movie.

An awkward silence fell upon them, only the sounds of a grieving Noah could be heard in the background. There was both so much they wanted to say, but neither wanted to make the first move.

"Listen," Haley began. "About the other night…"

"Don't even mention it, I was wrong. Honestly, I should be thanking you for how helpful you've been. I should be the one to apologize." She nodded as if silently accepting what he was saying. And once again, they both felt the uncomfortableness between them.

"Haley," Nathan said quietly, causing her to give him her full attention. "What… what happened that night?" He had to know what when on during his wife's last few hours.

"It wasn't something that happened that night," she admitted. "It was something that had been waiting to blow up for years, only she didn't realize it."

"Well… What exactly happened?"

"You want to know what happened? Daytona happened. And I was always stuck in her shadow. Then finally, I got something before she did, but she took that from me too. That's why I was fighting with her the night she died; I made her realize what a conniving little bitch she had become. She became someone she swore she'd never be. Daytona had values and morals, all of which were broken when she met you."

"You have no idea what you're talking about; no one forced Daytona to do anything. And if my memory is correct, I remember when you forgot about your own morals and values for a guy," he smirked. "So don't judge something that you did yourself."

"Does it even matter anymore? She's dead! And she'll never forgive me; I didn't mean to say what I did, I was just jealous. I didn't mean to keep the secrets from her that I did. Never once did she doubt me, even when I gave her every reason to."

"Even when she knew of my reputation, she didn't doubt me either. That's just the kind of person Daytona was."

"Well, if only I had shown her the real you," Haley rolled her eyes dramatically, sinking back into the couch.

"Were we ever going to talk about it," he inquired, raising an eyebrow at her. She had been so set on keeping the secret they both held, he was surprised to even find her hinting at it now.

"Oh so what, now that she's gone we can talk about it? Sorry, but I said what I needed to back then, and that's the end of it."

"So we're just going to ignore it forever?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know! Something! Anything," he cried out exasperated.

"Fine. I was an impressionable young girl who fell for some charmer's tricks. Big mistake."

"So you thought it was a mistake?"

"Yes, Nathan I do," she sighed, clearly annoyed. "A big mistake, okay? One never to be brought up again."

Nathan stood up and walked over to the couch Haley was lounging on. He sat down, rubbing his hands over his tired face. "Look, Haley, I'm sorry. I don't know how much that's worth to you now, but I really am. The past is the past, and there's nothing we can do about it now."

"Don't worry about it Nathan."

"Nope, too late. Let's just put this behind us and agree to start over. It's not your fault I ruined a potentially good friendship." Haley sat there in silence, not entirely sure what to say. "And besides," he added. "We're pretty much in the same position here… It's not like anyone else completely understands."

Haley was silent as she contemplated what he had to say. She looked over at him again and saw the deep blue of his eyes. They read of a lost child needing help. "Friends?" He tried again. If only she had known that her eyes read of the same thing.

"Friends," she nodded.

That day had ended with some sort of closure that both had so desperately needed. Together, they would try to leave the past behind, but it would not be that easy. Their blossoming friendship would be tested and some would predict that they would end up beyond friends. However, this closure was only the beginning of love, heartbreak, and destruction, for not only them, but everyone in their lives. And come in June, that day would arrive when they would be reminded of their pain, and they needed the other to be freed from their loneliness.

Because everyone in this world is alone, until that one person comes along, and changes everything.


	7. The More Things Change

**Two chapters in the same week! The world must be coming to an end..**

**Adapted a line from Grey's Anatomy.. You'll know it when you see it! Not much else to say about this chapter, hopefully the point of views aren't too confusing, they change back and forth throughout the chapter.**

**Sorry for the lack of NH lately! Don't worry though, the interaction is definitely coming.. and oh will it be huge!**

**Thank you for your continued replies, they are always wonderful to read!**

**Chapter 7**

I've known Nathan pretty much my whole life. Our moms were pregnant together, something I'm sure our grandparents loved: two of their daughters, one of age twenty-one, the other only eighteen, to be pregnant at the same time. The hormones at the family gatherings were flying I'm sure.

My relationship with Nathan was always complicated. As kids, we went through the usual, "you have cooties," stage, but as we grew up, we did grow closer. We became a part of the same crowd, the popular crowd. He was star basketball player, I was head cheerleader, and I swear to God if you even think for a second about us dating, I will personally hunt you down; we're cousins, remember?

But like I said, complicated relationship. I guess it really wasn't our fault, but more of our parents'. Our moms were constantly rivaling each other, and when Deb admitted she was pregnant, my mom Anna thought she was just trying to take the spotlight. Add that onto the fact that Dan never liked either of my parents, and you've got yourself a fun family Christmas!

Throughout high school, Nathan didn't really live the great life everyone thought he did; I was there to experience his roller coaster of emotions. Deb was hardly ever home, and Dan always put unnecessary pressure on his son. Nathan often stayed at my house, appreciating the love and warmth my mom brought. Plus it was fun to piss Dan off, so he did it as much as possible.

When junior year came along, things went from bad to worse. Nathan's incredibly gorgeous half-brother Lucas, who was a senior at the time, joined the basketball team that year. The sibling rivalry was the talk of the town; neither got a break from the spotlight. Dan put even more pressure on his youngest son to perform well. And I, along with Brooke, was there to pick up the pieces when Nathan hit rock bottom. But somewhere along the way, something changed, and the brothers bonded, allowing everyone to have a better high school experience.

In college, Nathan met someone who altered his life; she came in the form of a girl named Daytona. They weren't always the most functional couple, but it worked for them. Sometimes, I think they only stayed together because of Allie. When I first met Daytona, I thought they both could do better. Yes, Daytona was an amazing person, but I always felt like they were destined for other people. But hey, what do I know? I'm stuck waiting for an engagement that is never going to happen.

So anyways, back in college, our group became very strong. When Allie was born, I knew Daytona was here to stay; Nathan could never allow himself to be like Dan. We girls bonded quickly, and one day, Daytona introduced us to her eccentric friend Haley; for the time being, life seemed perfect.

When Daytona died, (you know I can't avoid this topic right?), it killed me to see how much pain the people I love were in. I think that over time, Nathan had developed a feeling of love for her, which obviously led to their wedding. Granted, it didn't seem like the deepest love he could find, but they were happy.

I lost a great friend last summer though, as did the others. And other than Nathan, Haley had the hardest time dealing with the new reality. Brooke, Lucas, and I tried out best to keep everyone together and happy, but our efforts were not always successful. Maybe we just didn't fully understand what they were going through, but I still believe both Nathan and Haley need help.

I'm not a very spiritual person, and never have been, especially since my mom died a few years ago. But with Daytona's sudden death, I just feel like there is something bigger going on. Like maybe, Daytona knew they both deserved deeper love and left the earth so Nathan could find it. I don't know. Jake says I watch too much television these days; maybe it's time to turn off the soaps. Next thing you know, I'll be talking about Daytona coming back from the dead!

I'm rambling, sorry. The only thing you really need to know right now is that things are getting better. As time goes on, we all do our best to move on from such a horrific summer. And maybe, just maybe, if my theory is correct, Nathan will be able to find a deeper love, a love he wasn't expecting. But like I said, what do I know?

"Finally, being friends with superstar has paid off," Brooke said as she sat down next to me. "Hey Jake, you know, that food's not going anywhere," she called out to my boyfriend who had spent the past twenty-five minutes at the buffet. Ah yes, knowing Nathan Scott has its perks, as we sit in the VIP section of the arena

"Hello to you Brooke," he shot back, his mouth full. "Maybe you should consider eating some food, or is the anorexic look still in?"

She childishly stuck her tongue out at him. "Men," she scoffed, rolling her eyes dramatically. "Aside from the fact that he's annoying, how are you two doing?"

"We're fine," I said with a faint smile. "Our five year anniversary is coming up next month." Five years, five long years. That's five Thanksgivings, five Christmases, and five birthdays, all spent with the same person. Am I being selfish for wanting more?

"He's going to propose soon Peyton, I know it."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then I'll beat his ass," she quirked an eyebrow. "Don't worry, it'll happen for you."

"So is Haley coming today," I quickly change the subject.

"She said she would if she could get out of work. You know she's been trying the whole friendship thing with Nathan… Am I the only one who finds that strange?"

I shrug, trying to evade the question. I think it could be good for them. They may be able to help each other out of the black hole they had been sucked into. Yeah, it was a little odd to see them trying to get along the few times they've been around each other, but at the same time, it was comforting.

The squeaking of shoes grabs my attention, as the majority of the opposing team go through warm ups. A few shots are a hit, a few more are missed, and the rest of the fans watching want to know, "Where are our beloved Bobcats?" I know that Nathan has to be beside himself with nervousness right now…

…

The locker room was tense as the team was getting psyched for the game. However, there was one teammate in particular who was especially nervous. Nathan leaned on the wall feeling the pressure of the night. The media had caused such hype over the fact that the great Nathan Scott would make his professional debut tonight. His entire career could be ruined by a bad first impression; the media was either on your side or against it, and he did not want to give them something negative to feed off of.

Soon the coach came in to gather his team; it was time. But as a dozen incredibly tall men left, one conniving man walked in. "Nathan," Dan called out to his son. "Wait a minute."

"Game's about to start dad, can't talk now. How did you get back here anyways," Nathan asked as he rushed out to catch up with his team.

"I have my ways… Nathan, listen," he barked. "This is it son, the moment we've been working towards your whole life."

"Don't you mean your whole life?"

"It's time to impress your fans, Nate. We didn't get up every morning since you were eleven at 5am for you to choke now."

"I know, dad."

"Everyone is watching you today, don't disappoint."

"I know, dad," he sighed. It was like high school all over again.

"Now I've seen some of your practice tapes and your left is looking a little weak. You could probably use some more work on your free throws too, but there's time I guess."

"Would you just stop preaching!"

"The attitude could be better also," Dan commented. "Don't screw this up Nate; you're in the big leagues now."

"Why can't you just be like a normal dad and wish me good luck," Nathan suggested.

A look of remorse came over Dan's face, but it soon turned into a smirk. "Just remember who has the higher scoring average," he said before walking away. Nathan let out a deep breath, unclenching his fists. He hated the hold his dad still managed to have over him; he wanted to escape from it all.

Nathan steamed around the hallway. He was tired of not being good enough; he was tired of always being a disappointment. Dan was an ass, he knew that; hell, the whole world knew that! But Dan was still his father, and he would try his best for him. Even still, Nathan would just love to smash his head into the wall sometimes, father or not.

"Some people never change, do they boy," and elderly voice said coming up from behind.

Nathan was startled to hear that all too familiar voice again. "Whitey," he exclaimed, perplexed as to why his former coach was here.

"Don't sound so surprised to see me son," he chuckled. "Did you think I had died?"

"It's good to see you coach," he smiled, shaking his hand.

"Glad to see your father hasn't changed a bit and you still react to him in the same way." Nathan started playing nervously with his hands. "When are you going to break free of him and move on with your life? The kid I remember in high school would have stood up for himself; he wouldn't let his daddy get in the way, no matter what it took."

"Sometimes, it just doesn't even seem worth it anymore coach," Nathan admitted. "Things have changed; I have people depending on me now."

"That still doesn't mean you need to take Dan's crap," he cried out as Nathan simply shrugged. "I'm proud of you Nathan for making it this far. I remember when your scrawny ass first tried out for the freshmen team… Look at you now, starting for your favorite basketball team."

"I couldn't have done it without you Whitey. I mean, I know I was a pain in high school, but I listened to you… even if it never seemed like I did."

"Yeah, you listened when you weren't staring at those cheerleaders," the older man chuckled. "There were times when I definitely thought you wouldn't make it on account of your own stupidity, but here you are. You deserve this Nathan, make everyone proud."

"Thanks coach," he smiled.

"I'll let you get back to your concentration now," he winked. "Good luck tonight, son." The wise man who had guided Nathan so many years ago, turned and walked away, headed back to his seat. He was prepared to watch the man that scrawny boy had become live out his dream, he would be proud like a father should be.

…

"Brunette, petite, not a bad body, of course, it's nothing like mine… She's pretty I guess," Brooke sized up Lucas' girlfriend Stephanie. In my opinion, she was a less pretty, less feisty version of Brooke; apparently Lucas was settling. "Still a tacky whore though, I mean would you look at that outfit? This is a wholesome family place sweetie, not the local strip club." If only she would remember her college years. Or look down at her own outfit.

"Hey guys," Haley greets us, saving me from my misery. "What's up?"

"Brooke here is only further proving the statement, 'you can take the girl out of the high school, but you can't take the high school out of the girl,' true," I joke, but in reality, know that I'm correct.

"Okay," Haley cluelessly chuckled. "So how's Nathan doing?" There it is, her genuine care for her supposed new friend.

"I'm sure he's pacing around the locker room somewhere."

"Could we seriously not talk about superstar for five minutes," Brooke whined. "Let's talk about my new Jimmy Choo's," she said, propping her feet up on the chair. Haley and I both roll our eyes at her material obsession, but it's why we love her.

"So Hales, tell us about your big feature article," I ask instead. It's great to see her life becoming like it used to be; she definitely deserves happiness. Even if this is just a small job promotion, it gives her something to look forward to; something to be proud of.

Her face lights up at the question. "I'm so excited about it; I can't believe Erika finally gave me a big break like this!"

"What's it going to be about?"

"She gave me a pretty general topic actually, cover something major happening in the town. And since the local town favorite has made it to the big time, I'm hoping Nathan will let me interview him considering the huge following he already has."

"Good luck with that," Brooke snorts and I nod my head. "Nathan isn't exactly the most easy-going person." Rarely will he ever help someone if he doesn't benefit from it; I swear, he's almost as self-centered as Brooke!

"Don't I know it," she agrees. "But maybe if I threaten the whole friendship idea he's so set on, he'll agree." Again, she mentions their friendship. Maybe this time they really are trying, but I'm still dying to know why they resented each other in the first place.

"What's up with that anyways," Brooke asked. "I mean, why friends all of a sudden? It's not like you ever got along before."

"Yeah, I don't know. We were just talking one day, actually it was more like arguing, but he just seemed so set on starting over."

"Maybe it's because he knew Daytona always wanted you two to get along," I suggest, knowing it's the truth.

"Maybe so," she shrugs. "But it's nice to have someone around who completely understands." Brooke and I both nod again, knowing that our attempts to understand failed often; it was someone else's turn to give it a shot. Just looking at Haley though, she looks content, there's a new found happiness in her eyes. Still, there is a tiny piece of her that is broken, just waiting for someone to fix it.

A comfortable silence falls over us as we watch the players on the floor, pondering what Haley had just been said. It's been a little over a month since her accident, and slowly, life is getting better. It just worries me that this is the calm before the storm. I'm afraid that something bigger is happening.

"Do you ladies know where I can find two gorgeous women formerly known as Tree Hill cheerleaders," a unique voice said approaching us.

"Oh my God, Mouth," Brooke screeched, jumping out of her seat. "How are you," she exclaimed as she tightly wrapped her arms around him.

"It's good to see you, Brooke."

"Mighty Mouth," I smile, hugging him next. "It's been so long."

"Too long," he agrees. "What's been going on with you guys?"

Before any of us could answer, Lucas walked over, Stephanie trailing behind. "Hey man, you made it," he held out his hand. never misses a game," he joked as they shook hands. "Well except maybe throughout college." While the majority of us stayed in North Carolina and I went off to New York, Mouth was accepted into the prestigious program at Princeton, leaving the rest of us in the dust.

"I'm so glad you're here," Brooke squealed, dragging him over to the couch. "There's just so much to tell you!"

"Um, Brooke," I clear my through, nodding in the direction of Haley.

"Oh right, Mouth this is our friend Haley," she introduced. "Haley, this is the sweetest guy you'll ever meet!"

"Nice to meet you," Haley smiled.

"Likewise," he nodded. "Luke was telling me there was an addition to your group; I just wondered who would be crazy enough to actually want to be friends with these guys."

"Ha, ha, very funny," Brooke said. "Now tell me what you've been up to! Is there a Mrs. Mouth?"

"Well, I've been dating this girl Gigi Silveri for a couple of years now, she went to Princeton also."

"Aw, I have to meet her sometime! Are you going to be sticking around?"

"Actually, we've been talking, and we're thinking about moving back here. I've missed this you know."

"You have no idea Mouth, you're like the only guy who totally gets me," she admits, not so subtly glaring at Lucas. Brooke and Mouth have always had a close relationship. Sure, people wondered how the AV geek and the captain of the cheer squad ever managed to be friends, but they clicked instantly, acting like the best of friends would.

"So this guy… Mouth," Haley whispers in my ear. "Who is he again?"

"Just an old friend from high school," I reply. "One of the hundreds of guys in love with Brooke, but only one of the few who she was actually friends with."

"Oh," she nods. And for a second, a look of loneliness passes over her face; you can tell she hates not being in the know. "He seems nice," she tries.

"He is," I confirm. "You should get to know him, I think he reads even more than you do; you can be geeks together."

"Shut up," she laughs, playfully hitting my arm. And again, the situation is relaxed. Old friends are simply catching up on many years lost, and new friendships are being formed. Yes, things are getting better.

…

I watch as my cousin takes the floor, ready to play the game he has loved forever. Basketball was the one thing that was always constant in Nathan's life. He always seemed at complete peace when he played. It was just him and the game, nothing else existed to him. It was the thing that saved him from a life of darkness.

There is no sign of nervousness on his face. No, he looks confident, and maybe even a little pissed off. It's a look I've seen many times. Nathan's goal for tonight is to show up his father; he finally has a chance to beat him.

It's been said before that Dan had to stop playing basketball because of a knee injury, and he'll never let us forget it. While he may have often compared his high school performance to Nathan, the one thing he never did was go pro. And now, here was Nathan, finally getting himself free from those years of being lesser than Dan; finally, he was greater. As someone who witnessed first hand the struggle Nathan went through, today, I couldn't be prouder.

The buzzer sounds, tip off follows. "And the game has begun ladies and gentlemen," Mouth, stepping back into old shoes, announces. "The Bobcats are off to a great start, already in possession of the ball…"

…

"Nathan, you did a wonderful job playing tonight," Karen said as she, Nathan, Lucas, and Deb, all took their seats at a local restaurant.

"Not good enough," he mumbled under his breath. Lucas patted him on the back, giving him a look as if to reassure him everything would be okay. But it wouldn't be, he saw the look on everyone's faces: the fans, the reporters, his teammates. Maybe Nathan Scott wasn't the answer to their prayers after all; that statement would be the title of many newspapers tomorrow. Okay, so maybe in reality he was, but tonight, millions of fans were disappointed in the Bobcat loss.

His family was there to console him after the game. They knew that this player would beat himself up over the game; he needed to know they still supported him. And as usual, the four of them went out to dinner afterwards, a tradition that had been started years ago.

"Honey, you were great," Deb smiled at her son. "How did it feel to be out there?"

Although the outcome of the game severely depressed him, he still couldn't help the feeling of euphoria he had felt out there. "It was incredible," he let out a deep breath. "I still can't believe it." His face lit up as he vividly described his experience. "The energy… the hype… it all just kept the adrenaline going, even if it didn't end the way I had hoped."

"Dude, you had more than twenty-five points," Lucas reminded him. "Not to mention all those assists and rebounds that the guys on ESPN will rave about for a week."

"Whatever," he grunted. Reality had set back in, the team had lost and now he had to deal with it. Now he was just trying to figure out why he allowed Lucas to be his agent. He would normally ignore Nathan's "fuck offs," and would be persistent in annoying him. What did I get myself into, he wondered.

The waiter stopped to take their orders as a semi-strained conversation continued. "Oh Nathan," Deb began. "Your father and I are thinking about selling the beach house. We hardly use it anymore, so unless you want us to put it in your name, we probably won't be the owners anymore."

Nathan shrugged, not sure what he wanted to do. There was one word in that sentence that worried him: Dan. Where had his father been after the game? Nathan was one of the last out of the locker room for a reason, but his entire family had stuck around to congratulate him. Except for Dan. Not that he cared, but maybe Dan had something else up his sleeve.

It was nice to see everyone after the game though. He was both surprised and happy to see Mouth had come to the game also. Brooke, Peyton, Haley, none of them understood basketball, but yet they had come to support him. Oh, and Lucas' annoying slut of a girlfriend Stephanie was there too. God, he wished his brother would dump her already. She had only been around for barely a month, and in that time, he learned to love Brooke that much more.

Sitting at that table with him, were three people who genuinely cared for him. But still, he couldn't say he was completely happy. Besides the fact that he had just lost his first professional basketball game, there was something missing, something not quite right. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he knew something was coming, he just wasn't sure what.

"Did I mention I ran into Whitey tonight," Karen announced. "Said he was there to watch one of his most promising players shine."

"Why didn't he come up to see the rest of us," Lucas asked. "God, I haven't seen him in forever. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss that old man barking orders at us or chewing our asses for being late."

"He came to see me before the game," Nathan offered. "Just wanting to, you know, wish good luck and all. No big deal."

"We really should make a point of catching up with people from the past, Nate," Lucas said. "I mean, I had to try like eight numbers to reach Mouth. We let people go too quickly."

The last thing Nathan wanted to do was relive the past. He knew that if Lucas went digging, he would find things that he wouldn't like. And he might find things that would embarrass their friends as well. And he would also bring up the dreaded summer that had recently passed. There was no need for any of it.

"Oh, we should have a party," Deb's eyes lit up. "We could have it catered and I could call…" Dear God, there she goes on one of her spiels again, Nathan thought to himself. Seriously, his mom belongs in the O.C. where weekly extravagant parties are normal. But still, he would do whatever she asked; just to make up for the hell he put her through in previous years.

Nathan loved all of this though. He loved this feeling of family, he loved being around the people who were with him. They had pulled him from a dark place and would always have his back in the future. Even through strange circumstances, they were family, but more than that, they were friends.

It wouldn't always be like this though. In only a few years, the four of them would be incapable of all sitting at a table together. That darkness lured in the background, but no one paid any attention to it. And while people changed, and grew apart or together, some things would always stay the same; it would just take some people longer to realize it, and by that time, it might be too late.


	8. The Search For Something More

Fear, bitterness, and regret are all palpable emotions felt upon entering Tree Hill county jail. It's a place filled with people wishing they had chosen a different path in life, wishing they hadn't done what they did. Three very solemn people walked towards the dark and depressing building. They were people hurt badly by someone currently residing in that jail.

"_Hey Nathan, can I talk to you for a second," his father asked, finally finding him getting something to eat at Karen's Café._

"_If it's about my last game, you can save it." Two nights prior, Nathan had fouled out of his game; Dan was none too happy, that's for sure._

"_It's about Jim Hudson." Nathan stopped mid-bite, his fork clattering down against his plate._

"_What, uh… what about him," he stuttered out._

The people were silent, preparing what the wanted to say to the person the person they were about to come face to face with. It had been a stressful week for everyone, the approaching event weighing in heavily on everyone's moods.

"_I pulled some strings, talked to the right people, and we can see him next week," he said. "They're only allowing a couple people from out family to see him"_

_Nathan sat back in the chair, completely blindsided by the news. He had almost managed to fully be in denial about that dark night, but the event had resurfaced; it was a slap in the face for him._

Yes, Dan had gotten permission to get a few people in to see the man who had killed Daytona. It was something he had been working on for awhile. He felt that his family, the people who would carry on his legacy, deserved to tell this guy how they really felt.

"_Well, you're gonna go right," Haley asked over the phone. He had just called her to tell her the news, and was equally shaken.  
_

"_I don't know," he sighed. "I don't think I'll be able to see this guy without wanting to beat the shit out of him." He was stuck; he knew he needed that closure, but at the same time, he was afraid. "But, you're definitely going?" There was a pause on the other end of the line._

"…_I can't," she said quietly._

Nathan's probably future sister-in-law jumped at the chance to come down to the jail today. She wanted to kill the guy who caused everyone such pain. Brooke walked beside him, looking cold and frigid. The bitch in her would most likely be making an appearance today.

"_Haley, if anyone should go, it's you," Brooke told her. "You need to see this guy." _

_Haley liked on her bed and stared at the ceiling. It's where she had been since she had gotten the news the day before. Sitting up, she said, "I'm not going; I can't."_

"_Why not? It could help you, give you some closure."_

"_I don't deserve closure," she said sadly. "I deserve to feel miserable for the rest of my life."_

Dan held the door open as the other two walked into the building. He was only going along to make sure his son wasn't charged with assault anytime soon. It had definitely taken some persuasion to get Nathan there.

"_My mom told me about Hudson," Lucas said when he entered his brother's house. "She also said you don't want to go."_

"_What am I going to say to this guy Luke? He's already hurt me, nothing I say will change that; he's still not going to care."_

"_What about Allie," he retorted. "What's she going to say twenty years from now? Someone killed her mother, and if she knew any better, she would want you to go. She would want you to make peace with this guy."_

"_So, what, I'm just supposed to be like, hey, you killed my wife, but we're cool now?"_

"_Don't be like that man, you know what I mean. You need to do this, or you'll regret not going later."_

He knew he should listen to his older brother; he'd never admit it, but Lucas was usually right. And so here he was, standing in the middle of the county jail. However, judging by the fact that it was Brooke standing next to him, that persuasion didn't work so well on Haley.

"_I'm going to go," Nathan told her. "I know I'll just kick myself later if I don't." His decision was final; Jim was in for a rude awakening as far as he was concerned._

"_I'm glad," Haley said. "I think this could really help you make peace with everything."_

"_Why aren't you going?"_

"_I'm scared," she admitted. "And sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve to."_

"_Haley," he drew out. "You can't think like that."_

"_I'm not brave like you are; I just… I can't face it again. If that makes me a coward, then so be it, but I'm not doing this."_

He didn't understand her decision; her reasons were completely different than his had been. And he didn't know why she felt like she didn't deserve too. Daytona would have wanted her friend to do this, to set herself free. It only made him more curious as to what happened between them that night.

"_Hales, are you sure you don't want to go," Brooke asked again for confirmation._

"_I'm sure. You should go for me though," she offered. "Let him know what a terrible person he is," she said with tears in her eyes._

Brooke would do what her friend asked, and that's why she was here today. She too was afraid, maybe for different reasons, but the man she would meet in minutes was the reason life had been so unhappy. He was the reason, Brooke had to step up and take care of all her friends. He was the reason why many people cried at night.

"Officer Stevens," Dan bellowed as he shook the guard's hand.

"Ah, Dan Scott, nice to see you. I assume you're here about Jim?" Dan nodded in response. "Great, just sign in here," he said pointing to a list. "And follow me." He turned and led them down the hall to a room. Going over to one of the cells, he unlocked the door leading one of the men out. "Hudson," he barked. "You're at booth 6."

"Brooke, you go first," Nathan said suddenly as he watched the average looking man be taken over to the visitor booth. The guard then took a step back and motioned for someone to come over.

Brooke sat down in the chair across from a man with a cocky smirk on his face. Jim Hudson. Thirty-seven years old. And in one night, changed several people's lives. He left his house, kissed his wife goodbye, and headed for the strip club instead of the office like he had said. It's where he continued to cheat on his wife as he had a few drinks. What seemed like a perfectly innocent night to him would be his last night of freedom for quite some time. Now, here he sat, ready to be interrogated by some very hurt people.

"Why?" It was the only question she could think to ask.

"Why what," he asked innocently. Oh, this could get interesting.

"I don't know, where do I start? Why cheat on your wife with a cheap stripper? That is so cliché by the way," she added. "I know that your wife and son have sold your house and are moving north, why cause that? Why get drunk and get in a car? Why kill someone who was loved by many," she said, absolutely disgusted that this man showed no remorse.

"That stripper was definitely not cheap," was all he said.

"You're insane," she shrieked. "Do you even care about how much pain you caused other people?" It amazed her that he seemed to feel no regrets over what he had done. He acted like he did nothing wrong, that it was just another day in the life.

"What about my pain? I'm the one locked up in this hell hole."

"You don't get it, do you?" Brooke sat back in the chair flabbergasted. "She had a family, she was a mother. It was because of your stupid choices that forced her to abandon that. So that's all I'm asking- why?"

"Listen here, princess. Not everyone lives the perfect life, some of us need an escape," he growled.

"And drinking was your answer to that?" He shrugged, relaxing back into his seat. "Unbelievable." It absolutely killed her that he didn't care he was in jail. Clearly this punishment wasn't working, and boy, did she want him to pay.

"Get off your high horse sweetheart, I'm just another human being. We're the same, you know, all of us. We lie, cheat, and steal to get what we want; it's human instinct."

"That doesn't make any of it right," she furiously shook her head. "It doesn't justify what you did. Yeah, I may lie every once in awhile, but it never jeopardizes someone's life."

"A lie is still a lie. Some are more severe than others, but in the end, it's all the same."

"Stop trying to turn this around on me," she exclaimed. How dare he; she was in no way like him and never would be. He was scum, and only looked out for himself in such a vicious world. She wished he would be stuck in this "hell hole" forever.

"Why? Because you know that I'm no worse than you?"

"You're disgusting," she spat out before storming away. "You're turn Nate," she called out as she ran out of the building; she was in desperate need of some fresh air. The stench of this place was getting to her, and it wasn't just the musty smell of the jail.

"You gonna be okay, son?" Sometimes it was hard to hate Dan; sometimes it seemed like he actually cared. Nathan silently nodded and walked over to take the seat Brooke had previously been in. He was quiet for a good five minutes, just staring at him. On the other side, Jim stared back quite self-satisfied.

"What did you do when you woke up that day Jim?" While waiting for his turn, it had occurred to Nathan that this man had probably started his day like every other. He went on with his usual routine, not realizing that at the end of the day, he would be booked in custody.

"Woke up, ate breakfast, worked out for about an hour, came home and watched a baseball game, then headed out that night to _La Chica Bonita._"

"You conveniently left out the killing my wife part, or did you forget that detail already," he accused bitterly.

Jim shrugged and said nothing. Again, the two went back to fiercely staring at each other. "Four years," Jim finally said. "How many games will you play? Hundreds. How many games will I see my son play? None." The guilt was finally starting to set in. He may not have been the most honest guy, but he loved his son. And the look on his son's face when he came to his trial crushed him. The life he had known was over.

"I don't feel sorry for you, so if you're looking for sympathy, look elsewhere."

"He'll go through his teenage years without a father…"

"And my daughter will grow up without a mother. Which is worse? Being motherless, but knowing she thought the world of you, or having a father that disappointed both you and your mother?"

"I didn't mean to, you know." Finally, he was showing a small fraction of regret.

"You chose to get drunk at that strip club, and you chose to drive." Nathan was eerily calm, speaking in a normal tone. He never raised his voice and Dan was worried if things were going to blow up soon. It was so unlike Nathan to act like this. Usually, he would have had Jim pinned to the wall or something. It was like he had almost switched places with his brooding brother.

"So what are you going to about it," he lamely chuckled. "Gonna kill me?"

"You're sick," he said repulsed. "And when I leave here today, you'll be alone. When you get out of here, you'll be alone. People aren't going to want to associate with you anymore, so you should get used to that feeling of being alone."

"So what's it like? Being alone, I mean," Jim sneered. "You would know right?" Nathan froze and Jim smirked in satisfaction, knowing that he had hit a nerve.

"Have a nice life," he said sarcastically before walking away. He was so ready to get out of there. "You okay," his father asked. He nodded his head and ran outside to find Brooke on the bench.

"Nathan, he was horrible," she cried out, jumping up to hug him. The tears in her eyes showed how much this situation hurt her. She just wanted to forget it all and go back six months, go back and make Daytona leave ten minutes earlier, go back to when things made sense, go back before life became such a mess.

"I know," he said gently. "I know. Just let it go." Dan came up behind them respectfully. He couldn't know what they had just gone through, so he let them have their moment of comfort.

"Can I take you home Miss Davis," Dan eventually offered to which she agreed. "Nate? Need a ride?"

"Nah," he replied. "I think I'm going to take a walk." His father reluctantly let him go and began to leave for his own car as Nathan headed in the other direction. He had been walking for only a few minutes when the swirling thoughts in his head became too much to handle. Pulling out his cell phone, he dialed a number that was becoming very familiar. When the person on the other end answered, he greeted them with, "Meet me at Riverwalk in half an hour."

…

Approaching the adorable outdoor café, Nathan found Haley already sitting at a round table. "Hey," she smiled cheerfully. "How did it go?"

Emotionally exhausted, Nathan fell into the chair and closed his eyes; he just needed a minute. Finally, as she stared at him with intent eyes, he responded. "It was surreal. There I was talking to the man who killed my wife and it was just… surreal," he repeated. He couldn't come up with another term to describe it. "I was so angry with this guy, but when it was time to face him, it was like this calm sort of came over me."

"What was he like?"

"Extremely arrogant," he replied. "It was like he didn't even care that he hurt people."

"Well, what did you say to him then," she asked, the concern evident in her voice. She was afraid this might happen. People who choose to hurt other usually show no remorse. That's what scared her the most: that she could cry and mourn as much as she wanted, but in the end, the guy wouldn't care. And she wanted him to care; she wanted him to feel the consequences.

"I made sure to remind him that he'll end up bitter and alone… just like I probably will," he sighed. He didn't even get the irony of it. This guy chose his path, he chose to be alone. Nathan had the freedom to make his own choices, and not end up alone; it was as simple as that. If only he could see that, could see that he had people who cared deeply about him.

"Nathan, don't say that," she said, taking his hand into her own. "You'll always have your friends and family." This friend thing was really working out, especially since the news about Jim Hudson had surfaced. They had been able to confide in each other in small things at first, but when it came to Daytona and that tragic day, they were open books.

"I know, but it was like he was taunting me, challenging me. I just felt helpless."

Haley sighed; he still wasn't understanding the importance of what he had done today. "You know, I'm proud of you Nathan, for stepping up today. I think you'll feel better after this, and when Allie is older, she'll be glad to know that her father let that guy know the reality of what he's done."

"Yeah I guess…" his voice trailed off, not completely sure of himself.

"Come here," she sighed, reaching over to hug him. "Make your peace with this situation and let it go. You did the right thing today."

"Thanks Haley," he said, accepting the embrace. "And thanks for letting me put all my problems on you." He really appreciated how welcoming she had been to him. They had gone from people who practically despised each other, to people who were able to help each other out.

"Ah, it's no problem. I know it's not the same talking to Lucas or someone else; they just don't understand the way we do."

"Yeah, but," Nathan stopped mid-sentence, afraid to enter the territory he was about to.

"But what?"

"I guess I just don't understand why you didn't go today, why you made Brooke go for you…"

Haley was quiet for a moment, not entirely sure how to approach the topic. She didn't want to give him the wrong idea about his wife, not when he had already been hurt so badly. "That night," she began. "I went over to your house to talk to Daytona, like I told you before. Now I'm not saying this to change your opinion or anything, but it's just part of my reasoning. She wanted out of her life, she was being selfish and a child, and I tried to make her realize that, but she just wouldn't accept it. You know how stubborn she can be." Nathan chuckled along with her. "But now… now if I could just see her again, I would take it back, and support her in any decision she made. So I felt like, if I saw this guy, then he would allow me to let it go, but I can't. I can't forget. And more importantly, maybe I shouldn't forget. What was the last thing you said to Daytona? Probably 'I love you' or some cheesy line like you always had. The last thing I said? It was full of hate."

After she finished her spiel, the two sat in silence for a moment, neither sure of what to say. "But, Haley," he tried. "This could have helped you get over it. You could have made your peace with him, and made peace with Daytona. You know she would have forgiven you."

"Maybe I don't deserve to make peace with this Nathan. Maybe this is something I need to carry around with me, to remind me that you never know what could happen. This closure, this meeting, whatever you want to call it… It's just too soon for me," she admitted. "But I'll make it there eventually; one day, I'll be able to let it go."

He nodded in agreement, finally understanding what she was saying. They were always on the search for something more, something greater in this life. And it would just take time to find that something, he just hoped it wouldn't be too long for her.

"So about this article," he mentioned, quickly changing the heavy mood to a much lighter one. "What do I have to do exactly?"

"You're actually going to do it," she squealed excitedly. "Well, basically, it's just about how you got to this point in your career, what's it like being in the pro's, blah, blah, blah," she rambled on. "Seriously Nate, thank you for agreeing to this, you may have just made my career."

"Anything to help," he winked. "So what do you want to know?"

Quickly, she reached into her bag pulling out the necessary items for the interview. She wasn't totally prepared for this; she had only mentioned the article to Nathan a couple of times! "Um, well, okay, let's start with, what did basketball mean to you when you first started playing?"

"Basketball was life," he shrugged. "At first, it was just a game I had come to love, a game I found myself at complete peace while playing. It was the feeling that no one could take away from me." Haley smiled, watching his eye twinkle as he vivaciously talked about his love for the sport. "When I was a lot younger, there was never any pressure, it was just about the game, which is how it should always be."

"So what happened when you got to high school?" She had heard the Readers' Digest version of Nathan's basketball years a few times, but never actually from his mouth. It seemed like a completely different story coming from him.

"It's when points, rebounds, and assists came into play. It wasn't just about the game anymore, it was about winning. I was up every morning, practically before the sun rose, to train. The game had lost its meaning to me, to the point where I actually quit the team for a few weeks."

"What made you go back?"

"My coach. Whitey. Yes, Whitey, I'm talking about you coach," he chuckled. "He probably just passed out after reading that, but it's true. He was there when I needed that father figure to talk to; he was there to help me make the decision that was right for me."

"So did he want you to quit or keep playing?"

"Honestly, probably quit the team so he wouldn't have to deal with me anymore," he laughed again. "No, the decision was pretty much up to me, he just pointed some things out for me. Like how much I loved this game and that I could still get that feeling back."

"Were things really that bad?" Haley was surprised to find how truly unsatisfying his life had previously been. It had made her feel bad for him, to know that he had gone through such a tough time.

He nodded. "Yeah, my dad felt the need to put extra pressure on my performance, and my mom was never around to stop him. Things just got out of control very quickly, so I turned to drugs to help me out a little. Turns out, they only made things worse," he paused, rethinking what he had just said. "Do you think we could leave that off the record? I just hate having my mom read that stuff now."

"Of course," she said quickly, jotting a note down. "We can take a break if you want. Sounds like you had a pretty intense basketball career."

"You have no idea," he murmured. "So Miss James, what are you up to today?"

"Nothing really. Probably hang out with Brooke or Peyton or something; maybe start writing this article about you famous basketball player I know…" Wow, her life was boring, she decided. It was nothing compared to the fast paced life the guy in front of her lived.

"Yeah, I heard about that guy," he joked. "He's pretty handsome from what I've heard."

"Oh, I didn't realize you swung that way Nathan," she feigned surprise. "And to think, I was just about to take you to the back and have my way with you."

"Sorry," he shrugged, and then suddenly burst out laughing. Haley joined in, realizing how ridiculous they must have sounded. "I really hope no one was listening to that," she giggled sheepishly.

It was strange though, they both seemed to realize. Only months ago, they could have never pictured themselves in this environment: talking and joking as friends. But there was a certain comfortableness to it that made it alright, something that had been missing before.

"Shit," Nathan muttered looking at his watch. "I was supposed to pick up Allie from Peyton's about twenty minutes ago. Can we pick this up later?"

"Yeah, that's fine," she said eagerly. "Actually, do you mind if I go with you?" He shook his head motioning for her to follow. The two set off for Peyton's apartment, laughing the whole way. Today, they had realized that there was something missing in their lives. Currently, they were on the search for something more; if only they could have realized what was right in front of them.


	9. A Different World

**Hey all, sorry for the long wait. Really lost my inspiration for awhile there. I had the idea for this chapter about a month ago, but after Audrey died, I just couldn't write. However, the day after her death, it snowed here, after having a couple weeks of 70 degree weather. Honestly, I think she was trying to get us a snow day since we didn't have one all year. So this chapter is dedicated to you Audrey, love you and miss you…**

**And I know that it took me forever to get this chapter out and all, so don't hate me for the lack of NH too! I promise this chapter is very relevant for a future chapter with plenty of NH interaction! **

**Borrowed a line from the show, you'll know it when you see it! **

A new season was arriving in Tree Hill; the town was becoming a different place. There was a chill to the air, in more ways than one. And people would be reminded of the last time the physical chill passed through. Both the happy and ugly memories would open more doors of uncertain pasts.

Because when it snowed, the world changed, a new perspective took over. That perspective had been lost for almost seven years and with that, the magic had been missing also. But today, the first snowfall would change everything as new things were discovered and explored. The fresh white dust settling over the land would only get the old to fly again.

"Daddy, look outside," Allie shouted as she saw the thick flakes touch the ground. The snow was beginning to fall quickly and heavily. "It's like that one time!" Allie had never experienced a Carolina snow before; the only time she had seen the white flakes before was on a weekend trip up north when she was barely able to form complete sentences. Time had certainly flown by.

"You remember that Al," Nathan asked with surprise. She had only been one or two years old then, how could she possibly remember.

"Yeah, it was cold, and you threw some in mommy's face," she giggled. Wow, he thought, little kids deserve more credit. "So can we go outside?"

"Of course we can, as soon as we get you dressed." Allie had already taken off for her room as Nathan slowly followed. As a kid, Nathan had loved snow. But then, things got cold, and the love he shared with the frozen substance had vanished. The last time it snowed in Tree Hill, it had been a bitter day.

_Nathan wandered the haunting mansion looking for something to entertain himself with. His mother was on business yet again, and his father… well he wasn't exactly sure where Dan was, and it didn't faze him in the slightest. However, he could get spooked being alone like this. Not in the 'I'm scared there are monsters under my bed' way, but in the way that it made him feel insecure. How did he get to this point; why was he alone? He had no trustworthy friends that wouldn't flake out on him; he didn't have a girlfriend, or the obvious: he was missing a family._

_Looking out the window, he could see the earth lined with snow. It looked so serene, like the world really wasn't such a bad place. It took away the ugliness of society even if just for a little bit. Shit, he was starting to sound like a girl. But maybe these thoughts were needed; maybe these quiet moments were necessary._

"_Yeahh, no school today suckas," Tim Smith shouted as he galloped into the house. Ah, Nathan's supposed beat friend. Yeah that friendship was strong until some "fine ass" came along to distract him. "What's up dawg?"_

"_You do know you're white Tim," he said. That kid had way too many personalities for his liking._

"_Don't hate the player, hate the game," he hit back._

"_Okay," Nathan said not wanting to egg him on any further. "How about a game of NBA live?"_

"_Can't man, we gotta set up!"_

"_For what?" He was almost afraid to ask, and sure enough, he found the answer he didn't want._

…

_Just hours later, a full out rager was going on in the Scott mansion. The pounding sounds of the most popular music blasted through the walls, practically shaking the house. It seemed like the entire school was almost there and the majority of them were almost beyond wasted. Drunken teenagers grinded on the dance floor, while the rest found other ways to occupy their time. Like Nathan's brother for example. "Get a room," he shouted at Brooke who currently had her tongue down her boyfriend's throat._

_Finally coming up for air she snapped, "Bite me."_

"_Gladly," he smirked to which she rolled his eyes._

"_Come on Luke," she groaned, pulling him off the chair. Pushing past Nathan, she muttered some incoherent words which he was sure weren't pleasant, before leading her boyfriend towards the stairs._

"_Third door on the left is saved for you bro," Nathan called out. "Try not to pull a Dan Scott!" Lucas flipped off his younger brother before following Brooke down the hallway._

_Chuckling to himself, Nathan flopped down onto the couch, plastic cup filled once again. Within seconds a drunken Tim approached him. "Let's make snow shots," he eagerly suggested._

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_You know, like jello shots, just with snow!"_

"_Dude, you realize that's just going to water it down, right?" But Tim was already outside _

_collecting the frozen water; although he would soon be upset by the results of his little experiment._

_However, it wasn't long before there was someone else looking to interact with the star basketball player. "Nathan Scott, never fails to disappoint," a giggling blonde said approaching him. "And from what I've heard, in more ways than one." Pushing her barely covered chest out, she playfully stroked his arm, giving a flirtatious smile. _

"_No thanks," he replied, not even giving her his full attention._

"_You'll be missing out." She not so subtly wet her lips._

"_I'll get other offers," he said cockily, brushing her off. _

_Frustrated, she gave up and decided to move on. "Ass," she muttered as she walked by; what, was she not good enough for the great Nathan Scott? _

"_Whatever," he sighed, grabbing a bottle of vodka out of his dad's cupboard. Drinking himself into a state of oblivion, he watched his life pass by. Basketball, so called "friends" only using him for his popularity, random girls looking for a good fuck, it was all pointless; so he just drank even more._

_It was much later that night that Nathan stumbled down the stairs, half dressed and clearly not fully aware. There were few party-goers left as the back bedroom he had just been in cleared out. All of this, all this partying just made things worse, made him feel like a shell._

_In the distance he heard his best friend call out, "You're my hero Nate! Yeah! Get yours!" Tim was often impressed by Nathan's conquests, but at the same time, he had no idea how lonely things could get._

"_Want some," another girl offered him a handful of pills which he gladly accepted. Anything to help him ease the pain awhile longer. Not even asking what they were, he downed them with more vodka, and prayed his dad wouldn't come home as he passed out on the kitchen floor._

"I'm ready daddy, can we go now," Allie shrieked, trying for her father's attention. He jerked his head, fully returning to reality and nodded. As his daughter ran towards the door leading outside, he realized that even now, his life was good. Even if things hadn't gone the way he had planned, anything was better than the dark hole he had spiraled into in high school. Those memories were the only things keeping him going in the present; for Allie's sake, he knew he couldn't slip back into old habits. And besides, he had his family, friends, old and new, and his daughter was finally happy. There was still just one thing missing to make everything complete.

…

Peyton woke up to an empty bed; she had slept in so much later than normal. But there was something else that was off, a different feel to the air. Pulling herself out of bed, she shuffled to the window. To her dismay, she saw her old enemy had covered the land. There hadn't been a Carolina snow in years, and she was able to escape that confrontation with the white beast. But today, it was back, and so were the memories.

_A cold wind blew across the land, tossing her blonde locks around. Her bitter eyes looked up to glance over her barren life. Peyton sat there only wearing a dark leather jacket over her thin t-shirt, but the coldness didn't bother her. She was already numb from the pain._

_Her quick wrist sketched over the notepad. All of her emotions from the last week poured onto the page. Sadness, guilt, anger, all of it was there. Why her family? Why her mom? The tears flowed as she furiously scribbled and they froze like icicles as they rolled off her check. It had come as such a surprise when her dad told her the terrible news. Earlier that week, Anna Sawyer had slid on an ice patch, lost control of the car, and slammed into a tree. It really made Peyton hate the white rain that fell from the cloudy sky. It was Mother Nature who had taken her own mother away, and life seemed like it would not go on._

_Brooke had stopped over again late the night before. She had been making many trips to the Sawyer household in the last week. She even tried to make them dinner once, which ended horribly of course. But seeing her run around the kitchen trying to put out the smoking chicken had at least made Peyton and her father laugh._

_But as much as Peyton appreciated everything Brooke had done, she still wouldn't understand. People tried to give their condolences, but it felt like they were worth nothing. The pity glances, the secluded whispers, it only made Peyton feel worse. Like maybe she had done something to deserve this. Was she that horrible of a daughter? The last thing she had said to her mom wasn't 'I love you,' or anything. It was just, 'Can I borrow $20," before she ran out the door. She only wanted all of this to be over, to wake up and know that everything would be okay soon. The whole "who loves Lucas more" drama had been pushed under the rug for now, it just seemed so trivial. And now, Peyton felt empty, almost hollow. There was nothing left to her, at least nothing left fighting for._

_A chill went down her spine as she finally felt the effects of the weather. Hurriedly, she finished her emotional drawing and laid it near the tombstone. It read, "People always leave." Her hopes were crushed. Children shouldn't have to bury parents so young; it just wasn't right._

_She sat back down on the snow covered bench in silence. She realized the loneliness was better as it surrounded her, so she could overcome it. But none of that could stop the immediate pain; it couldn't stop her cheeks from becoming so wet. However, she did have the happy memories of her mom; she had the good times to remember. And she had to be strong for her father too; he had lost the love of his life. He had only risen from his bed a dozen or so times this week at most. Life was just too hard._

_And it was the snow that made it this way._

Coming back to reality, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her. "It's just snow babe," he murmured. "It's not meant to hurt us, it's meant for us to enjoy."

Taking a deep breath, she finally found her voice to speak. "I guess I just can't let it go." Each winter the anniversary of her mother's death had been painful, but in more recent years, the lack of snow made things easier to get through, made it more possible to cope. It's because she wasn't confronted by the white monster who took away someone who loved her unconditionally. Except now, she had found someone else to fill that role. "Thank you," she smiled up at Jake, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"For what?"

"Everything," she said, relaxing into his arms. Little by little, she had been able to make peace with her mother's death, and it had not been so easy. But this snow, this fresh fall brought in a new world to help her forget the old one.

"Come on, I want to show you something," he said eagerly, leading her away from the window.

"Jake, where are we going," she giggled as they walked down the stairs of the apartment. "What about Jenny?" Something crazy had come over her boyfriend and she was anxious to find out what it was.

"Don't worry about it," he said with a twinkle in his eye, opening the door to the coldness outside. "Come on," he grabbed her hand and they began walking down the street.

The snow lined the roads and covered the normally green lawns. The tiny flakes fell lightly from the sky, into their hair, and onto their clothes. "Remember your first snow in New York?"

"How could I forget," she smiled. It was the last time she had seen snow, before she transferred back to North Carolina.

"You slipped on that ice and landed on your ass right in front of the library…"

"Could we not relive that, please?"

"So I went over and helped up this poor girl who had been humiliated in front of everyone," he continued.

"Okay, so maybe it was lucky."

"Peyton, as cheesy as this may sound, it was the snow that brought me you. I thank God everyday that you slipped on that ice," he chuckled despite her protests. "And so I'm asking you to spend the rest of your snowfalls with me."

He led her onto the pier looking out over the frozen water. "Now I didn't exactly have this planned out for today, but I love you Peyton. You've always been there for Jenny and me. And so I'm asking you to be my wife." Peyton stood wide-eyed, completely surprised. Finally all her dreams were coming true. Getting down on one knee, he pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket and asked the question she had been dying to hear. "Will you marry me?"

Maybe the snow wasn't so bad after all.

…

Brooke juggled her shopping bags as she attempted to find her keys. It had been a very early morning of shopping for her as she hit all the major sales. Finally, she located her keys and popped the trunk, placing her many bags in the empty space. Suddenly, she felt something cold on her cheek, then again on her hand. Tilting her head up, she saw the white flurries falling from the sky. Winter was her favorite season because of that white goodness and she rejoiced that it was back. Closing the trunk, she happily got in her car as the happy memories of the last snow flooded her mind.

"_No school today, thank you very much snow," Brooke said to herself gleefully as she bounded down the stairs in her tiny red shorts and white tank top. The snow was the best part about winter, and each year she loved it just the same. Getting herself a bowl of ice cream, because you can eat ice cream anytime of year, she settled onto the couch ready for a day of movies and lounging._

_Laughing along with the television, Brooke couldn't help but be worried about Peyton. She hadn't been herself lately, which was understandable, but the effects were taking its toll on her. She did her best to be there for her hurting friend, but sometimes, there was nothing Brooke could do. _

_At one point the doorbell rang. She figured it would be one of her parents' stuck up friends looking to kiss their asses. "Well, guess what, they're not home," she muttered. "They're never home." Swinging the door open, she was surprised not to see some pervy old man, but her boyfriend. Okay, so he was a perv too, but in a good way. She smirked at the thought. "Hi boyfriend!"_

"_Hi girlfriend," he mocked, giving her tiny outfit a once over. "Sleep well?"_

"_Not really," she sighed. "Juan Diego kept me up most of the night. Not that I minded of course." She raised an eyebrow._

"_Is he here? I'd like to meet him," he countered. "And is he into threesomes?"_

"_Well, well, there may be hope for you yet broody," she said. "It looks like my amazing talents are rubbing off on you." Many of her previous boyfriends, the ones she actually kept around, would be appalled that she could joke about other men: Brooke Davis had finally met her match._

"_I learned from the master," he winked, boosting her ego even more. "Want to come outside?"_

_Quickly, Brooke ran back up to her room and changed as fast as possible. With Peyton not feeling like herself, she figured playing in the snow would have to wait for another day. Dashing back down the stairs, she charged out the front door only to be hit with a cold object on her shoulder._

"_Lucas Scott, you did not just hit me with a snowball," she shouted. He innocently shrugged, laughing at her now disheveled appearance. "Oh you are so dead." She wiped her face and began to chase after him. But she knew she wouldn't catch up unless he let her; he was too quick._

"_Okay, truce?" She called out after only a few minutes._

"_Truce," he said, slowing down and walking back towards her._

"_Or not," she giggled, tackling him to the ground. "Payback's a bitch."_

_Groaning, he lied limp on the ground, making no attempt to move. "Ow," he muttered. "Who knew you were so strong?"_

"_There's a lot you don't know about me," she said with a cheeky smile. Seeing that he wasn't about to get up, she lied her head on his chest, enjoying the moment. But then, reality set in, and insecurity took over. She said seriously, "Luke, why are you with someone like me?" They had only been dating for about three months, and she found herself falling harder each day._

"_Ah, I don't know, pity mostly I suppose," he joked, but stopped laughing when he saw that was not the kind of answer she was looking for. "Brooke," he sighed. _

"_Just tell me Lucas. Why are you with me when you can be with someone who is like way smarter than me?"_

"_Because you're my Cheery," he tried. "And you're fun… and you don't let people walk all over you. I'm with you because I like the person I am around you. And I want to continue to be that guy for you."_

_She smiled in acceptance, her restless thoughts reassured. Brooke had trouble trusting people in her life and would never allow herself to get too close to someone, but this time around, something was different. This time, she had found someone who had been brave enough to break her walls down, and wanted to still be with her no matter what he had found on the other side._

A tear slid down her cheek as she remembered just how happy she had been. Lucas had been the only guy to truly make her feel that way, and no other man that she brought into her life could fill that void he had left. Things were just too complicated now though, and she couldn't let herself go there again; even if that meant being alone. But the snow would always remind her of what should have been, and what could possibly never be.

…

Haley sat in the secluded back booth at Karen's Café. Her gaze drifted out the window as she watched kids run, jump, and play in the snow. It reminded her of her own childhood and how carefree it had been. The snow had turned the town into some sort of winter wonderland; she just wished things could stay like that all year round.

"_Guess who got her license," an ecstatic Daytona shrieked running into Haley's room._

"_The last ten times you asked me that on the phone last night, it was you," Haley reminded her. "Besides, it's not like you can go anywhere today, the roads are covered."_

"_Well aren't you just Miss Sunshine," she teased. "Come on, let's go!" She dragged Haley out of her room and outside into the cold weather. _

"_I really need to study," she whined, trying to escape back into the house._

"_Hales, it's a snow day. That means no school, no homework, and definitely no studying. Come on, live a little!"_

"_I think you live enough for the both of us," she chuckled, gathering some snow in her hand. "Fine," she gave into Daytona's antics. "I bet I can build a better snowman than you."_

"_Or snow woman," she corrected her friend. "And you're on!"_

_The two furiously built snowmen... women... people, whatever! They continuously ran back into their respective houses looking for items to decorate their frozen creations with. It was such a childish competition, but warmly welcomed. High school was causing them to grow up too fast; they needed a reminder of their earlier years in life._

"_Nice work James," Daytona complimented her finished project._

"_You too Green," Haley returned. _

"_Of course you know that mine is way hotter than yours," she joked. "Actually, since mine's a girl, and yours is a guy, they could totally fall in love and get married."_

"_Oh but their other spouses threaten to keep them apart for all of destiny!"_

"_People, whether they are made of snow or not, that are meant to be together, always find their way in the end," Daytona replied wistfully, earning a smack on the arm from Haley._

"_You do realize they're just frozen water, right?"_

"_Yeah, but still, everyone deserves happiness…" _

_Their actions were considered playful and childish, not what sixteen year olds would normally be up to on a snow day. But they were looking for that innocent charm to come back into their lives. Unfortunately, it seemed as if it would be lost forever, because even as they continued to play and laugh in the snow, and enjoy the free moment, once the snow melted, reality would be the consequence._

"Hot chocolate," Lucas offered, setting a steaming mug on the table. He had stopped by to see his mom, when she mentioned that Haley had been there for nearly an hour and offered nothing. Karen's motherly instinct had kicked in and she sent her son over to make sure she was okay.

"Thanks," she smiled. "How are you?"

"Good," he said sitting down across from her. "But uh, are you okay? You look like you've got something on your mind."

"Just have a lot of thoughts I guess," she said, her gaze once again focusing outside. "Life was so much simpler when we were kids."

"Ain't that the truth," he agreed. "God, I can barely even remember the last time it snowed, but if I could just go back to that day and do so many things different…" The two fell into the silence that had previously clouded Haley's mind. The snow had reminded them of when things were good, when things made sense.

Haley debated to herself whether or not to tell Lucas one of the secrets she had been holding. It was something that had made her uneasy for awhile now. With Daytona's death, was it even right to tell Nathan this? "Luke, if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell Nathan?" She decided to just go for it.

What could he say to a question like that? She had his attention now, and he was curious to hear more. "Uh, sure. What's going on?"

"I haven't told anyone this, I wasn't even sure if it was even relevant now, but I can't keep it in any longer. I just don't know what to say to Nathan or if I should even say anything at all," she rambled.

"Haley, what is it?"

"Remember about a month before the draft when you and Nathan had to go up to Charlotte to meet with some people?" Lucas nodded his head knowing exactly what she was talking about. "That first night after you had been gone almost the entire day, I went over to see Daytona."

The alarming thoughts running through Lucas' head made him nervous. The possible scenarios she could be preparing him for were endless. What could this be leading to?

"I found her packing a suitcase. She was going to leave town that weekend for a new life," she broke the news.

Lucas coughed up some hot chocolate in shock. He could hardly form any coherent sentences. "What… How…?" Clearing his throat he regained composure before firmly stating, "why?"

"She wanted out of the life she had been in. I don't think it had anything to do with Nathan, she was just tired of the expectations she to live up to."

"And what about Allie?"

"Daytona kept saying how she was a terrible mother and that Nathan would find someone else to take care of her. I tried to convince her to stay but she was so set that Nathan and Allie deserved better than her." Finally stating the truth had lifted a great weight off of Haley's chest. It felt good to reveal the weekend that could have ruined the Scott family before it inevitably happened anyways.

Lucas sat there with nothing to say. Haley was starting to get worried about what he might say when he suddenly burst out into laughter; that wasn't the kind of reaction she had been hoping for. She was looking more along the lines of advice on what to tell Nathan or something, but no, apparently she was just another skit on Saturday Night Live. "Uh, what's so funny?"

"My life," he chuckled. "I mean, look at the big picture, look at my family. We've been torn apart and worn down the last year after Daytona died, but in reality, even if she hadn't died, she would have been dead to us all anyways. This is some sort of soap opera shit I swear."

"Yeah, it's pretty messed up," she conceded. "I'd have never thought in a million years that I would be in a situation like this."

"You mean you never pictured having to choose whether or not to tell Nathan his wife wanted to leave him," he said sarcastically laughing. "Trust me, none of us did."

"It almost makes me wish we could go back to that last snow fall, so we could start all over," she said absent-mindedly.

"But would you really want to go through all this pain and suffering again?"

"If it meant seeing Daytona again, then yeah," she nodded. Lucas was silent, not wanting to push things any further; he knew how Haley closed up when talking about Daytona. The relationship they had confused him. They seemed to be best friends, but they were fighting for the other's life; the life they had wanted from the start. "So what should I do about Nathan," Haley asked.

"Honestly, don't say anything now," he offered. "At least I wouldn't. It's too soon, I think. We don't want to set him off any further and I think this would kill him."

"Okay," she said quietly. "I just really needed to tell someone..."

"Better me than Brooke, I would imagine," he chuckled. "Because then Nathan would find out within seconds I'm sure." Looking at his watch, he finally realized that he had only meant to stop by the café for just a couple minutes. "Ah, look I gotta go Haley… are you sure you're going to be alright?" She smiled and nodded, taking another sip of her drink.

"Bye Luke," she said as he walked away.

She glanced out the window again to see that the children playing outside were gone, probably back to their homes. But it was just like how she and Daytona were gone, how their innocence had disappeared. Everything good had vanished. Pulling away from the window, she found Lucas sitting in front of her again.

"One last thing," he said. "Daytona obviously never left that weekend… what happened?"

"She was pregnant," Haley admitted. "I went back the day before you and Nathan were due home to see if she really had left, and instead, I found five pregnancy tests in the bathroom and her crying on the floor."

"Right," he said in realization; he had known that she was pregnant. "And she was crying because—"

"She knew she had to stay for her children," she finished. "She didn't want to, believe me, but she knew it wasn't fair to leave now, with Nathan unknowing."

Lucas buried his head in his hands. "Damnit," he muttered. "Just when I thought things couldn't get any more twisted in life…" He was trying to help people move on with their lives when these sometimes disturbing revelations came about and the pot was once again stirred.

For now though, as long as the snow stayed another day, it would seem like reality had vanished. People would be so caught up in the magic of the winter wonderland, their own lives would be put on hold, but when that snow melted, the magic would disappear with it. That happiness found in old, fond memories, would dissolve, and all that will be left is the tangled reality that they called their lives.


	10. How You Spend Your New Year

**Just a quick note- Any outbursts and/or bitch-slapping (while arguing about a certain brooding Scott brother) by Brooke Davis was an idea originally conceived & written before I saw the OTH season finale. Mark Schwahn hacked into my computer and stole parts of this chapter from me.**

**Actually, this chapter has practically been written since I started this story lol I've been very excited in writing it, but I had to break it into 2 parts, because otherwise it would be insanely long and boring. And you're all going to hate me for ending it where I did.**

**Chapter 10**

"Haley, I'm so glad you could make it," Deb greeted her as she entered the Scott house. "Can I take your coat?"

"Sure, thanks," she smiled graciously as she slid her warm jacket off and handed it to the older woman. "Wow, this place looks great!" Taking a moment to look around the festive house, she found crystal lights hanging high on the ceiling, and gold confetti that seemed to be everywhere. Elegant people scattered throughout the house were dressed to impress as they rang in the New Year.

"Oh, thank you dear," she said warmly. "I just wanted this to be a night no one would ever forget." Her words would soon come back to bite her, as surely no one would forget tonight. "I think Nathan and Brooke are near the bar if you're looking for them." Haley smiled once more before excusing herself.

Making her way over to the next room, she was still in awe of the beautifully decorated house. She always found the Scott mansion to be a bit scary. It almost always seemed like something was haunting everyone; it was such an unfriendly place. But tonight, it was filled with life, with promise. What she didn't know, was that all of the secrets of this house were out tonight, and soon, others would follow.

Haley finally found the two standing together, not looking the most thrilled. Really, this party was more for Deb and Dan's older friends, and since family was also invited, Brooke was forcing Haley along for the ride.

"Tutorgirl, you look hot," Brooke exclaimed when she noticed her friend. "Spin around!" Haley did what her friend demanded and turned to reveal her entire outfit. A slinky black dress with a very low cut back hung from her shoulders. The front was just low enough to expose the right amount of cleavage, and it fell right above her knees showing off her toned legs. A pair of strappy gold heels and a flashy gold necklace completed her look, along with the long waves flowing loosely in her auburn hair. "Someone's feeling brave tonight!"

"Well they say how you spend your New Year is how you spend the rest of the year, so I figured, what the hell, right," she chuckled.

"Well, that outfit definitely deserves a drink!" Brooke clapped. "I'll be right back. Don't have too much fun without me," she warned before walking away.

Nathan and Haley were both quiet a few moments longer, feeling a bit awkward. "Brooke's right," he broke in. "You look amazing."

Haley shyly blushed. "Thanks, it's really nothing though." Accepting compliments wasn't really her thing; she hardly ever got them, especially from men it seemed like.

He chuckled. "Well as a guy, let me just say it works." She laughed with him as the upbeat song changed into a slower one. Nathan looked over at the dance floor to find that it was empty; most people didn't want to be the first out there. He decided to take that chance though. "Would you like to dance?"

_Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself  
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms_

Unsure, she hesitated. She may have been able to try something new when it came to her outer appearance, but she was still shaky emotionally. Nathan sensed her reluctance and reassured her. "It's only a dance Haley, come on," he smiled, holding out his hand. Wavering for another moment, she took his hand and he led her out to the open floor.

_There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast  
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life_

Onlookers watched as the first couple of the night had the courage to step onto the dance floor solo and began to gracefully move. They were jealous of how perfect they looked together, how perfect they moved together. It was like they had been together for years, but what they didn't know was the nervousness they had.

"I got my advanced copy of the magazine yesterday," Nathan told her. "I can't thank you enough for not using all the dirt I'm sure you have on me."

She laughed at that. "Oh Nathan, you're not as bad as people make you out to be; the article was merely what I considered to be the truth."

"Thank you," he said again. "It's just that the press had already been crazy before the draft, and after, well, you know… things got worse…" His voice trailed off. "I guess it was just surprising to see such a positive article on me."

_If you knew how lonely my life has been  
And how long I've been so alone_

"You deserve it," she said quietly. "You've done a terrific job with Allie and your life; I'm proud of you for being able to hold it together." They both smiled at her comment, still not entirely comfortable with their level of friendliness, but Haley continued on. "I've known you for nearly 5 years, and yeah, we didn't get along for the most part, but I've watched you change into a good person. You became the guy that I saw a tiny glimpse of all those years ago, and had hoped that someone would be able to keep that guy around."

_And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along  
And change my life the way you've done_

"I'm trying," he admitted. "It's hard; it's really hard. And I appreciate everything you've done for me lately," he assured her. "Basketball… it isn't the most honest business you would think it to be… I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm glad that I have people I can trust."

Brooke came back with a tray of drinks in hand only to find that her friends had disappeared. It wasn't long though before she saw them together, in the midst of three other couples who had proceeded to join them on the floor earlier. Haley's head rested peacefully against his chest as they danced. Brooke smiled to herself at the heartwarming scene in front of her; they had found solace in each other. Maybe Peyton was right; maybe they were the only two to understand each other.

_It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me  
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from_

"Do you ever think," Haley began to say. "That things will ever go back to the way they were?"

"No," he replied honestly. "But do I think we'll all find happiness again? Yeah, probably. It'll just be with different people and under different circumstances." She seemed content with that answer for the time being, but Nathan thought it had been out of the blue, given that tonight was about starting anew. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know… I just wish things were normal again, I wish life was good, like it used to be."

"Yeah," he agreed as they swayed back and forth.

_It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me  
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong_

"I just worry that I'm going to end up alone you know," she admitted. "Like I'll be that mean old lady who is always holed up in her house with nineteen cats; I don't even like cats!"

He chuckled before responding. "Don't say that, you have your friends."

"I know," she said quietly.

"And any guy would be lucky to have you!" And for a second, he could have sworn that her eyes lit up at that comment before returning to the sadness they had held before. She was still quiet, and they continued to move, listening, feeling the music.

_A window breaks, down a long, dark street  
And a siren wails in the night_

Shaking her head as if to clear her thoughts, she looked up into his eyes. "How can you be so strong Nathan? I—I've completely fallen apart and everyone has had to take care of me. And here you are yet again, telling me that everything will be okay."

"I'm lucky," he said. "I have a lot of good things going for me right now, and I try to focus on them instead of dwelling on other things. Life isn't supposed to be so hard," he reminded her. "And things will be good again, we just have to work at it; we're all going to stick together. This family has gotten through a lot of drama in the past, and we'll do it again." He could say all that, and pretended like he meant it, but really, he was breaking inside.

_But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me  
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light_

"Thanks Nathan," she said. "For being there for me lately, I mean. I've been trying to move on, but something is holding me back…"

He wanted to ask her, he felt like he had the right to, but he just couldn't. Something she had said to him earlier had been bugging him ever since. "Daytona wanted a new life," was all he could think about. Haley was vulnerable though, and he couldn't do it to her right now, but the uncertainty was eating him alive. He would wait though; in due time, Nathan and his daughter would have all the answers.

_Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me  
And how long I've waited for your touch_

"You've been helping me through this too you know," he smiled. "I've tried talking to Luke or someone about everything, and they just can't understand the difficulty of moving on. It doesn't feel right."

"Well, today is New Year's Eve right? And like they say, how you spend your New Years is how you spend the rest of the year… so let's just spend one night with no fears about tomorrow; no matter what the consequences."

_And if you knew how happy you are making me  
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much_

"Deal," he smirked. "Although you might regret saying that later, Haley James, I've been known to get into some trouble on nights like these."

"Oh you have no idea," she murmured, her thoughts reminding her of the actions she had chosen throughout the course of her life.

_It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me  
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from_

_It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong_

The song came to a close, the final chords ringing throughout the room, and another upbeat song began to play. "Thank you for the dance miss," Nathan said jokingly.

"Thank you for everything else," she replied with a grin. They made their way off the floor and back to where Brooke was waiting with their drinks. "Look at you guys," she teased. "Always gotta be the center of attention." She handed both of them a different drink.

"Ah I love you," Haley accepted the glass.

"I know," she happily shrugged. "But then again who doesn't?"

"Me," Nathan said bluntly to which Brooke scoffed. "Thank God," he muttered when he saw Lucas enter the room. "I'm surrounded by too many women." Brooke had certainly been known to give him a migraine or two… or three… over the years, and she loved doing it. But he would always appreciate the things she had done for him, no matter how annoying she could get.

"Oh please, you enjoy it," she rolled her eyes.

"Yes, your incessant pining over my pathetic brother is just what I want to hear," he said sarcastically.

"What is she doing here," Brooke sneered a little too loudly as the brunette trailing behind Lucas came into view.

"Speaking of," Nathan commented earning a sharp look from her.

"Well if you must know Brookie," Stephanie shot back as she approached. "Lucas was looking for someone to show him a good time, and I'm just the person for that."

"Right, right. And how much do you charge an hour?"

"Brooke," Haley tried to stop her, but she was on a roll.

"You know, I've been meaning to ask you that. From what I've heard, you sold yourself cheap in high school, and apparently, you get what you pay for. It must have been a no-brainer when Lucas dumped you," she laughed, thinking she was hilarious.

"Well you would know what having no brain is like, wouldn't you," she retorted. "Sure you didn't lose too many brain cells banging against those headboards?"

Stephanie stepped up, invading her space. "You know, Lucas was telling me about you two in high school, and I'm far better in comparison." The pissed off ex-cheerleader rolled her eyes again. "I think it's pretty clear you didn't make him happy and he deserves someone with a little more class, don't you think?"

Brooke's hand made contact with the girl's face. "You know nothing about our relationship, and no matter how much you try, you'll never have one like it," she said lowly before taking off.

"Brooke, wait," Lucas called out, but she had already disappeared. He looked over at his current girlfriend, who innocently shrugged and suggested, "PMS?"

"I'll go after her," Haley volunteered, setting her drink back down. "Be right back." And she turned to follow her friend.

Lucas came up next to his brother, whose eyes were fixed on the petite, beauty of the night that was walking away. "So Haley looks hot tonight," he commented, but got no response from Nathan. "Might want to wipe some of the drool off your face bro," he laughed, patting him on the back.

"What," he exclaimed. "No, I wasn't looking—I mean, yeah she looks—uh, so how's it going Luke?"

"Nice try," he smirked. "You don't have to hide it though; she does look pretty great tonight. It's nice to see her coming out of her shell." And come out of her shy shell she would.

"Whatever," he tried to brush it off, but he spoke the truth; this was a completely different side of Haley, one that intrigued him.

Haley walked in the same direction Brooke had headed, which led her to a dead end with closed doors. Knocking on the one to her right, she opened it to successfully find her friend there, but not alone. Her old friend tequila was accompanying her, but it would not be pleasant.

"Haley! You're just in time! I was about to make a toast," she raised her shot glass into the air. "Here's to life screwing you over." Downing the burning liquor she giggled. "Would you like to join me my dear?"

She wanted to say no, but life had screwed her over many times as well. Besides, this was New Years, right? She accepted the filled glass from her friend and raised it along with Brooke who was ready to toast again.

"That's the spirit," she cheered. "To boys, screwing you over… which can be good, really good," she said thoughtfully. "But very bad." The girls laughed, clinking their glasses together before drinking the contents. Brooke refilled their glasses as they both continued to "celebrate" their lives.

"To us, the hottest girls out there tonight!"

"To kicking Stephanie's ass back to the street corner where she belongs!"

"To bitchy bosses who sleep with Ed from the mail room!"

"To another year with the most screwed up Scott family drama this town will ever see!" And their wish would most certainly be granted.

Merely eight shots later, Haley was not holding her liquor very well; even Brooke was feeling the effects. "Here's to Daytona," Haley said slowly, raising her glass once more. "And all her secrets that she thought she was so good at keeping."

"Okay, I think that's enough for you," Peyton suddenly appeared. She had arrived a couple of hours ago, but didn't have the energy to go looking for her party-going friends, and when she finally did… well, it was easy to get lost in this house, no matter how many times she had been there.

"P. Sawyer," Brooke squealed. "Would you like to join in! We're toasting to our fabulous lives!"

"I think I'll sit this one out," she said taking the glasses from their hands, much to their dismay. "Come on, let's get you some coffee or something." She grabbed Haley's hand trying to lead her to the door.

"No," she gasped in surprise when she felt something sharp against her hand. "Don't tell me…"

Brooke ran over and grabbed the hand Haley had suddenly become so fascinated with. "He proposed!" Peyton nodded. "Oh my God, now I totally can't call you P. Sawyer anymore because you'll be P. Jagel…Jagielski… Yeah, that doesn't work."

"Congrats," Haley shouted flinging her arms around her friend in an overzealous hug. "Now we get to plan your wedding! This is going to be so fun!"

"Just a ball," she said, still trying to drag the two of them out of the room. "Come on you guys, it's almost midnight!" And she pulled them back to where their friends were sitting so they could all ring in the New Year together.

…

"_10… 9… 8…"_

Haley glanced around, seeing all the couples pair off. The alcohol wasn't taking the edge off anymore; her loneliness was sobering. Her eyes finally fell on Nathan who was obviously having the same thoughts as she was. "Oh what the hell," she muttered before walking over to him, just as the crowd finished the countdown. _"3... 2… 1…"_

"Happy New Year," she smiled before pressing her lips against his. At first, he didn't realize what was going on, but almost as if it was instinct, he relaxed into it. Her mind, clouded from reality, she tightly wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers brushing against the nape. Firmly grasping her hips and pulling her onto his lap, Nathan deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing her lips. Their emotions were everywhere as they got caught up in the heat of the moment. But it wasn't long before their friends noticed as Nathan's tongue made his way into her mouth.

Lucas pulled away from Stephanie only to find his brother and innocent little Haley going at it. He frantically tapped Peyton on the shoulder trying to get her attention. She shot him a nasty glare before he pointed to the couple getting hot and heavy. Her eyes popped open in surprise, as did the rest of them as they all became aware of what was going on.

The two people on display broke apart, panting heavily. "Happy New Year," he replied. "Happy New Year indeed." He had to admit, it felt good, temporarily forgetting it was Haley in front of him. He had been alone so long that he was becoming frustrated. And this tease, this preview, only made things worse. Still not remembering where they were, they both jumped in surprise as they heard a loud whistle from behind them; of course Brooke had seen everything.

"Now that was hot," she declared. "Who knew you had it in you Hales?"

"Oh, Brooke, Brooke, Brooke…. That," she drunkenly stated as she stood up. "Was nothing." Brooke raised an eyebrow, not entirely sure what she meant. "Sex with Nathan… now that was hot!" She winked before grabbing her empty glass and raising it in the air. She turned to face her shocked friends and Nathan, whose gaze was focused on the ground. "More drinks anyone?"


	11. is How You Spend the Rest of the Year

**So sorry for the wait! I know I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but life just keeps getting in the way. I had finals last week, and then my grandpa was in the hospital, but now things have calmed down and I'm hoping to write more!**

**Thanks so much to Medine for your help in this chapter! hugs**

**And as always, thank you to everyone who reads and those who reply to my story! I always love reading what you guys have to say!**

**Chapter 11**

The sounding of horns and flying confetti continued to ring in the New Year, as many oblivious people celebrated. There was one group though, that was completely quiet. They all stood shocked at Haley's outburst, as she began to refill her drink, acting like nothing was wrong.

Peyton was the first to finally realize what had just happened and she grabbed Haley, as well as Brooke, leading them out of the room. "Wait, my drink!" Haley cried out.

"I think this time you should actually drink some coffee instead of pouring it down the sink like you did earlier…You too Brooke," she ordered, sitting each of them down in the kitchen.

Back in the main room, Lucas and Jake glanced at each other, than back at Nathan, who was doing everything in his power not to make eye contact. "Is there something you want to tell us Nate," Jake questioned.

Sighing, he knew this was one battle he was going to lose. "Let's go somewhere else," he suggested, and they followed him up into his old bedroom.

"So what's going on Hales," Peyton asked sweetly, passing her a few aspirins to take. "Something you'd like to share with your best friends whom you said you would never lie to?" Haley shoved the pills in her mouth, washing them down quickly. It was going to be a long night.

"What do you mean, you slept with Haley," Lucas shouted. "When did it happen? Oh God… please don't tell me you cheated on—"

"No Lucas, I did not cheat on my wife, thanks for having such a high opinion of me," he snapped. "It was years ago, before Daytona was even in the picture." Now he knew why Haley wanted to keep this a secret all these years; the interrogations would surely go on for hours.

"Did Daytona know," Brooke asked her.

"No, she didn't know," Haley said standing up. "It was a mistake, okay? It was just two people caught up in the moment." Her mind seemed to wander elsewhere, causing her friends to know that it was not entirely the truth.

"So what exactly happened then," Jake asked.

Frustrated that ignoring them would get him nowhere, he flopped onto his bed, before succumbing to the pressure. "It was towards the end of my freshmen year in college…"

_Nathan sat on the couch surveying the room. It was the same thing week after week; the same music, the same people, the same cops who came to break it up when things got out of hand. He wished for a change in scenery, just this once._

"_So who's the lucky lady tonight," Tim chuckled, falling into the seat next to him. "You should really try something exotic this time…" Nathan tuned out his best friend's babbling about women when he saw someone walk in that he had never met before, and he had certainly been introduced to a lot of women. She looked kind of familiar actually… It was when a taller blonde appeared next to her that he remembered. _

_Almost immediately, the blonde seemed to spot him and dragged the mystery woman with her. "Oh Nathan," she called out to him. _

"_Taylor," he said flatly. _

"_Now don't sound so enthusiastic to see me," the perky blonde said bouncing over. She was one of the leaders of the sorority that often mixed with the basketball team, and a pain in Nathan's ass as far as he was concerned._

"_Trust me, I'm not." _

"_Well, listen, there's someone I want you to meet." The girl next to her stood there nervously, completely unsure of her surroundings. "This is my little sister Haley." Ah, so that was her name. Now this could be fun._

"_Hi," Haley said meekly, not used to this kind of environment. "Nice to meet you."_

"_Likewise," he smirked. "You want a drink?"_

"_Sure, I guess." But Taylor was already at her side with a large tray of shot glasses. "Drink up sis!" Taylor handed a glass to her sister, and picked up one for herself, and together they downed them; Haley making a face the entire time. "Nice Hales!" Again, she handed her sister another glass, and Haley continued to drink; her big sister was like the queen of partying after all, she knew how to do things right._

_It was after only five shots of… whatever that was, that Haley remembered she wasn't exactly the best drinker. She was a bit of a lightweight, if you prefer. Luckily, Taylor had lost interest, and found a guy that was apparently more fun, and more legal, than her own sister. Haley sat back down on the couch next to Nathan, who was looking kind of bored._

"_You'll get used to it," he chuckled, taking a drink out of his cup. Drinking with Taylor was always an adventure, and had gotten him into trouble many times. Haley buried her face in her hands realizing what a long four years college was going to be._

"_So, how do you like it here," he spoke again. She looked so nervous and self-conscience, he just wanted to make her feel better about everything._

"_It's nice," she gave a tight smile. "Taylor… um, she's showed me around to a lot of places already."_

"_Let me guess, she took you to the best bars, then showed you which ones never to be seen in, introduced you to more than half of the girls in her sorority, and spent the rest of the evening getting ready for the party."_

"_So I'm assuming you and Taylor are pretty close then," she loudly chuckled; the alcohol was making her giddy. And it was so typical of her sister to go after the best guys._

"_Not really. She likes to think we're friends, but it's all for show."_

"_Right," she nodded and grew quiet again. Suddenly, she excused herself to get something else to drink. She maneuvered her way around the room, but in the opposite direction of the alcohol. Instead, she headed down a long hallway filled with rooms. Some of those doors were shut, for reasons she did not want to know, but some were still open and inviting._

_Somehow, she found herself in one of the bedrooms with its walls covered in basketball memorabilia. Obviously, the sport had meant a lot to this person. On the bookcase were some pictures. One of a blonde boy and… Nathan. 'So this is his room,' she thought._

"_That's my brother Lucas," he said from the doorway, having found her touching that particular frame. "He's probably around here somewhere if you want to meet him."_

"_That's okay," she smiled shyly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to go through your stuff… I was just…" What was she doing exactly anyways?_

"_Getting the hell out of there?" _

"_Yeah," she nodded. That was it._

"_Yeah, me too," he said. "It gets pretty old after awhile." _

_Haley continued to nod her head, thinking what an idiot she must look like. But she couldn't help it; her eyes were fixed on him. He looked so gorgeous with his messy hair and button down shirt; she could only imagine what was underneath. _

"_You alright," he asked. "You look a little…" Haley cut him off by quickly walking to him, and kissing him fiercely. Surprised, he took a few steps back, just as she pulled away._

"_Oh, um, no I'm sorry," she fumbled. "I didn't, I mean, that was so inappropriate, I'm sorry." He just stood there for another second, gathering his thoughts, before once again, her lips landed on his. Instantly, he wrapped his arms around her, walking them out of the doorway and further into the room. _

_As their mouths devoured each other, Haley worked the buttons on his shirt, disappointed to find the wife beater underneath. She wanted it off, wanted more skin. Sensing her anxiety, he helped her out, quickly pulling himself away to rid of the white tank._

_She moaned into his mouth, enjoying every moment of it. It was something in the back of her mind that told her to get out of there as fast as she could, but she couldn't, she wouldn't. The feel of his hands moving up and down her body made her feel special, made her feel like she mattered. Even if it was just another night in the life of Nathan Scott._

"Shit that was the reason I had to sleep out in the common room that night," Lucas said as he figured things out. "And then you were all weird the next morning too."

"Yeah, well, she spent the night," Nathan admitted.

"So?" Jake wasn't completely following their story, but then again, he hadn't been around in those early years.

"Oh, let me tell you something buddy," Lucas laughed. "Nathan was the king of one night stands in college. And the girl –or girls— of the night never stayed. Never. Not that I minded of course because then I could sleep in my own bed instead of that hideously uncomfortable couch in the common room."

"Thanks bro," Nathan replied sarcastically. "But yeah, she did stay, and I wouldn't let you in the room because I didn't want you to see her. I was freaking out myself."

"No way," Brooke screeched. "You, Miss Haley James, actually stayed the night in Nathan Scott's bed!"

"Brooke! It's not like I'm proud of it, or that it's some big accomplishment," Haley blushed.

"Oh trust me, to most of his groupies, it would be like winning the freaking Nobel Prize!"

"Okay Brooke, we get it," Peyton cut in. "I'm still confused though. So you slept together, it's not like Daytona was in the picture or anything…"

"So did you see her again after that," Jake asked him.

"Oh, did I…"

"_Welcome to Duke University," the speaker said from the podium. "Everyone needs to make sure you've checked in at one of the admissions desks before going any further. For those of you who have already received your information, you and the upperclassman you've been assigned to may leave." The noise level rose, as students scattered, excited and nervous for the day. _

_Haley frantically walked over to the admission desk; she had arrived late. Her parents had taken forever to leave the house, and once they reached the college, the waterworks that followed took even longer, even though this wasn't the first official day. "Haley James," she stated when she reached the front of the line._

_The bored looking woman on the other side immediately placed packets of papers into her hands. "Rules, consequences, and all other miscellaneous information you might need. Your upperclassman will be here in just a second," she said dully motioning to the side. "Stand over there while you wait."_

_Nathan stood there, looking at the paper in his hands. "Haley James" was sprawled across the top. The one thing he hated most about basketball was the obligation to school functions, and that included, assisting freshmen around campus. But what were the chances that he actually would run into the gorgeous woman who had dazzled him months before? He was both excited, and nervous, to see her again, afraid of what she might say. Finally gathering up the courage, he walked over to where he found her standing, and greeted her. "Haley," he said warmly. "Looks like I'm your friend for the day."_

_She jumped in surprise; no, this couldn't be happening, could it? Karma just had to mess with her, and of all days, it chose this one. "Na—Nathan, hi," she said startled. "Um, yeah, I guess so." She wanted to hate him, she really did, but looking into those deep blue eyes, she found herself mesmerized by them again._

"_So where do you want to go first?"_

_This was one thing she was certain of. "The library," she said excitedly. Books, books, and more books, all were things she could lose herself in. However, entering that library, books wouldn't be the only things she would get lost in._

"_Ah, yes, we have a fellow bookworm on our hands," he joked, earning a playful slap on the arm. "Kidding, kidding. Come on, let's go." _

…

_They had been in the library for at least an hour, and Haley had not yet lost interest; Nathan on the other hand, had been bored in the first ten minutes. He had been in the library probably less than a dozen times the year before, and each time, it didn't want to make him come back more; this was no exception._

_He looked over at her, trying to reach a book on a top shelf. She stood high on her toes, her shirt rising, exposing a sliver of the smooth skin on her back. Eventually, she was successful in her attempt, and opened the book, intrigued by the contents. He chuckled at how enthused she was about everything; it just enchanted him even more. Glancing down at his watch though, he only wondered how much longer she would be._

_Nathan looked at Haley once more, and she had that innocent smile on her face again; he knew that he craved for her. She looked so pure, he was elsewhere. His mind was wandering places. "Hales," he softly murmured her nickname. And without hesitation he pulled her closer to him as possible, he could feel her breath hot against his neck. _

_Haley started shivering; goose bumps were breaking out on her skin. She was insecure about her position; she shouldn't be in Nathan's arms like this. She could feel Nathan placing feather light kisses upon the skin below her ear. And without even knowing it, she moaned angelic, and he presumed she was urging him on, so he kept sucking, and marking her with his lips. _

_"Nathan," She pleaded. She didn't know what she was pleading for; she wasn't supposed to be as close to him. _

_Nathan looked at her one last time, before picking her up from the ground, knowing their surroundings; he pulled her into the nearby closet. Still holding her tight against him, he managed to open the door in one quick way; he placed her back on the ground. _

_"Stand still," he said smiling. He closed the closet door._

_"Nathan, we shouldn't -" She couldn't let herself do this again; it had been a mistake the last time, and she swore it would never happen again._

_"Haley, I need you," and with that said he kissed her passionately. _

_Haley was trying her best not to give in, but it felt so good, it felt as if she was sitting on a cloud. She couldn't help it, putting her thoughts aside; she started giving into his kisses. She longed for his touch, desired that passion._

_Nathan could feel Haley depending, he looked at her, "You are beautiful," Haley blushed, but before she could react or say anything, his mouth was seizing hers in a mind blowing kiss. His arms went to wrap around her waist, he held her tight, and Haley had put all her thoughts aside, so she wrapped her legs around his waist._

_"Oh," she moaned, as she felt a hard part of his anatomy. Nathan grinned against, trying to pleasure her more. _

_He stopped kissing her so he could breathe in some much needed air, but Haley wasn't the one to let go now, she placed her hands each side of his head, and thrust her tongue into his mouth to tangle with his. As their tongues danced in a rhythm neither at them had felt before, their hands started to explore each other's bodies. _

_"Haley, you feel so good," Nathan moaned as Haley was marking her visit on his neck. _

_"You do too," and with that said, a blush crept onto Haley's beautiful facial skin. _

_He couldn't help but to look at her cheeks. They were colored in such a pretty way, bright red. He stroked her right cheek lovingly, loving the feel of her warm skin beneath his finger. Cupping her cheek, he pulled her back to him again, as their mouths melded perfectly together. _

"Haley James, tell me you did not have sex in the library," Brooke screeched in awe. Haley sheepishly looked down at the ground, taking another sip of her coffee.

"I think she made what happened perfectly clear," Peyton said

"Oh shut up, I know," she scoffed. "But I still don't understand why you guys were so bitter… I mean when Daytona introduced us, you and Nathan could hardly be in the same room together. So you couldn't keep your hands off each other, you weren't doing anything wrong."

"I did nothing wrong," Haley sighed. "Except for becoming too attached."

_It was dark, the only light coming from the moon. And two broken people stood near the river trying to make sense of things. "So that's it," Haley said. "It's over." He had called her up, told her to meet him out here, and in a few words, called things off._

"_I'm sorry," he tried to say. "But it was just for fun right? That's all these last couple of weeks were, you even said so yourself." He tried to convince himself of it also, but was having difficulty._

_She turned her back on him trying to hide her tearstained face. She had told him it was for fun, but it had truly become something more for her. She found herself enjoying his company more and more, and had hoped that he would someday feel the same._

_He walked up behind her, and she could feel his presence drawing near. "So what's her name," she said quietly. He refused to answer, and tried to embrace her in a hug. "No Nathan, what is her name?" Her voice was growing shakier._

"_It doesn't matter now."_

_She turned around, pounding her tiny fists onto his chest. "What is her name," she sobbed. "Tell me, who is it?" Her cries got louder, before they overtook her entire body. He wrapped his arms tightly around her tiny sobbing body. _

"_I'm sorry," he said again. It pained him to see her like this; he hadn't meant to cause it… But he hadn't meant for it to happen. _

"_But I liked you," she mumbled into his chest; he couldn't entirely understand what she had said though._

"_Hales…"_

_Pulling herself from his arms, she wiped her eyes, sniffling. For the last time, she kissed him briefly; her salty tears brushed against his cheek. "Goodbye Nathan," she said with a shaky smile, before turning on her heel and walking away. He longed to go after her and tell her the truth, that he wanted to forget the whole "friends with benefits" idea, but he couldn't. Not when he would soon be a father._

"Did Daytona know about all this?"

"No," Haley shook her head. "And I wanted to tell her so many times, but I couldn't. She liked him so much…"

"But so did you," Brooke offered.

"She was pregnant," Haley shrugged. "I wasn't going to be the reason to break up a family."

_Haley took her glasses off when she heard a knock at the door, grateful for whoever was giving her a break from studying. Opening the door though, she found a person she did not want to see. "Nathan," she said flatly. "Sorry, Daytona's not here right now, but if you're looking to fuck someone over, I'm around."_

"_I came to talk to you," he walked in and sat down. "Look, I didn't know you were friends with Daytona."_

"_And what would that have changed Nathan?"_

"_I don't know," he admitted. "And I'm sorry for any drama I may have caused between the two of you."_

"_She doesn't know," Haley said. "I didn't tell her."_

"_Oh… okay then."_

"_Surprised?" He shrugged as she continued on. "It's stupid and pointless now, she's not going to care about your past. Besides, we were just having fun right?" The bitterness in her tone did not go unnoticed. "So let's just bury it; you have a kid to worry about now."_

"_If that's what you want…"_

"_I don't have a choice," she said firmly before opening the door again. Nathan on the other hand had different plans. He reached for her arms and pulled her closely, kissing her with every ounce of strength in his body. She wanted to stay there with him, wanted to stay wrapped in his arms, but she knew she couldn't._

_Pushing away she cried out, "Stop Nathan! This can't happen anymore. I won't let you ruin your relationship with the mother of your child. Do you want to be like Dan?" He had told her a thing or two about his father, in the few moments he let himself be open._

"_Nice," he muttered. _

"_Good-bye Nathan," she said again, practically shoving him out the door. Reluctantly he went, trying to hide his bruised pride. "You'll be okay," she smiled, trying to make things seem better. But he just brushed past her, ignoring her completely. And as she shut the door, she realized that their last chapter had finished._

"Damn," Jake sighed. "And I thought I had a complicated past."

"But everything's okay now right?" Lucas looked to his brother for confirmation.

Nathan nodded. "We're working on it. It's been hard, but it's been going on for too long, and it really needs to end."

"Well the past is the past," Jake declared. "Whatever you did then, doesn't necessarily make who you are today. I wouldn't worry about it so much anymore; what's done is done, and nothing can change it." As he spoke those words, Lucas silently hoped that he truly meant them, because one day, Jake would find something out about someone else's past, and it would surely upset him.

"Yeah, we're always here for you man," Lucas patted his brother on the back. "None of this changes that, we still care about you and Allie."

Meanwhile, the girls in the kitchen were quiet. Brooke and Peyton stood there a bit shocked, not entirely sure how to take in this news. They loved Haley, but they had loved Daytona just as much, and now it was almost like taking sides. Together, they got up and walked out, leaving Haley to herself. They couldn't deal with all of this now, knowing that one of their best friends could have potentially gotten together with another friend's husband.

Haley tried to call after them, but it was pointless. Instead, she found her coat, and gathered her things. As she was about to open the front door to leave, three loud men were coming down the stairs. Jake and Lucas were laughing, as Nathan shuffled silently behind them. His eyes locked with Haley as he saw her at the door. They were filled with mixed emotions, and both of them knew what they had gotten themselves into.

"This year can only turn out disastrous," Haley murmured before turning on her heel and walking out the door. It was a new year, a new day, and most likely, a new heartache.


End file.
